The Ballestero Blog

Pushed Away

Our Boxer Pandy lay in the whelping box with her first litter of puppies. She had all eight of her newborn pups snuggled up to her as she washed them very carefully. The first-born one was also the biggest of the litter by far. What was more striking was the big pup’s coloring. It was a dark chocolate with flashy white markings. Very rare indeed!

L-R, Pandy, My Dad - Carl Ballestero, Shawn

My wife had stayed with Pandy for several hours, before and after the delivery, giving support when needed. It was past 1am when I joined them and was immediately excited about the chocolate colored Boxer pup.

For some reason unknown to either my wife or me, Pandy pushed the big chocolate male puppy away from her. We watched with mild alarm. It was Pandy’s first litter and we knew she didn’t have any mothering skills. She had never been a mother before.

My wife picked the puppy up and placed it back in position to nurse. Pandy allowed it to nurse for a few moments, then pushed it away again. This time the little guy rolled over on his back and we had turn him over on his feet.

After the third time of pushing the puppy away and not letting it nurse, my wife gave me instructions to go to the only 24 hour drug store in our area. I bought a baby bottle with several types of extra nipples and some baby formula.

The nipples were quickly trimmed back to allow for fast consumption of the formula. Every few hours for weeks, day and night, my precious wife would hand-feed the puppy. Pandy still would not allow it to come near her and nurse. We were both disappointed in the mother dog’s lack of nurturing skills.

The puppies were all taken to see the vet to get their check-up and shots. The Vet examined them all and bragged on their health, the markings on their coats and their progress. He saved the big chocolate one for last. He had much praise for it’s markings and coloration too.

After he examined the big pup for a moment or too, he froze. He checked it’s vitals, looked in it’s mouth and then shook his head.

“Mrs. Ballestero, I am afraid I am going to have to put this one down. I can’t allow it to live.”

My wife burst into tears. This was our pick of the litter. This was the one we wanted to keep for our own. This one was special. It was rare. Yet, the Vet wanted to put the little dog down.

My wife had become very emotionally attached to this little guy and the Vet’s explanation sounded so far away.

“He has a cleft palate and will never be able to drink water or eat. That is why Pandy pushed him away. She could tell something was not right about him. That’s why you had to bottle-feed him yourself. She knew something that you didn’t know.

He also has water on the brain. That is why he rolls over easily and you have to keep turning him over. He has no balance. This puppy doesn’t have a chance.

Knowing the doctor was right she gave her permission, but she couldn’t stop her sobbing. Her heart was in love with the little chocolate Boxer puppy. It was a horrible day of grief in our home. We grieved, and our five children did as well.

This then brings be to a most difficult passage in the Holy Scripture. It is one that I am not sure I can properly and fully explain to everyone’s satisfaction.

King Saul was no longer humble and little in his own eyes. He now had become reckless and disobedient concerning the things of the Lord. Even after God had sent the prophet Samuel and advised him, Saul still disobeyed.

Samuel was very worried about King Saul. He worried about him enough to cry for him. As a matter of fact, he wept all night long for Saul.

1 Samuel 15:10-11 Then came the word of the LORD unto Samuel, saying, It repenteth me that I have set up Saul to be king: for he is turned back from following me, and hath not performed my commandments. And it grieved Samuel; and he cried unto the LORD all night.

Then God stepped in and stopped Samuel from praying anymore. God pushed Saul away like Pandy pushed away her pup.

1 Samuel 16:1 And the LORD said unto Samuel, How long wilt thou mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? fill thine horn with oil, and go, I will send thee to Jesse the Bethlehemite: for I have provided me a king among his sons.

Our humanity keeps trying to save everyone we can. We do not want to lose them. We love them. We pray for them. We beg them to come back to church and get right with God.

We can only look on the outside. That’s the only part we can see. We may very well like what we see. But God looks on the inside as well as the outside. What if God doesn’t like what He sees on the inside? What if God knows something about them that we don’t know.

As a preacher I feel uncomfortable saying that God gets weary dealing with some people, even though I know it’s sobering and true.

My advice?

Please, Don’t Ever Live The Kind Of Life That Would Cause God To Push You Away.