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King David Is My Hero, But…

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King David Is My Hero, But…

When it comes to praise and worship, I am hard pressed to find a greater example and leader in worship than David. He is my hero when it comes to worship.

His writings gush out praises to Jehovah, and I love it. He makes constant calls for everyone of us to join him in praising the Lord! He never stops thanking God for His new mercies every morning. What a worshipper!

The Lord even said that David was a man after His own heart. Maybe part of that was because even though David was flawed like the rest of us, he was quick to repent. God always forgave him. Where then does my reticence to brag on my ‘hero’ come from?

 

His Family Relationships Frighten Me.

  • He showed love and affection to God, but I see little evidence that all of his family felt loved and nurtured by him.
  • It may be just my uneducated opinion, but that family flaw is what scares me as a father and a grandfather.

 

His First Wife, Michal

Remember the background story of his first wife, Michal? She must have been quite a beautiful woman.

King Saul, her father, offered her hand in marriage to any man who could kill 100 giants and bring him the proof. What young man in is right mind would go fight a hundred giants for an ugly girl? She must have been a trophy wife. David killed 200 for her.

The scriptures say twice that Michal loved David. Yet, nowhere is it ever mentioned that David loved her. She is never referred to in the Bible as David’s wife. She is always called ‘Saul’s daughter.” David never called her his wife, or said that he loved her.

When Saul tried to kill David, Michal helped him escape her father’s wrath. She loved him. When a girl stands up for her husband against her own dad, that is a major event! I see no sweet return of thanks from him for her efforts or love.

David then takes Abigail as his wife, after he removes her husband. When Saul hears of this, he goes and finds Michal and gives her to another man for a wife. That new husband was head over heals in love with her.

Much later, when Abner secretly approached David about reuniting the divided kingdom, David’s response surprised me. David’s only requirement to agreeing with Abner was, “Bring me Saul’s daughter.”

He never said, “Bring me my wife,” or “Go get me my wife and bring her back to me then I will.” He used the term… “Saul’s daughter.” That is not the expression of a man who tenderly loves his wife.

Abner forcibly brought Michal down the road to David. Her new husband followed behind her crying for her. Abner threatened him and sent him home. The wrong man was crying for Michal.

David Dancing before the LordNo wonder when David was dancing before the Ark of the Covenant with not very much on but a linen ephod apron, Michal was upset and maybe jealous.

What she said cannot be justified. God even paid attention and closed up her womb because of her attitude and comments.

What it appears to my unscholarly mind is that she was feeling like David was putting his physical anatomy on display by dancing half naked, and the young maidens in the street could see more of him than she was allowed to see at home.

David’s home life shows little evidence of romance. Everyone woman he was attracted to was married to someone else, it seems. She was the unloved trophy wife.

Abigail and Bathsheba were already married when he met them and fell in love. He loved them deeply, but not the woman he was married to. It was as though she didn’t exist.

David conquered many giants, but he lost in love.

 

His Children

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Absalom

Absalom showed zero respect or honor for his father. How did that happen? Something went wrong in the early stages of home life for this to happen. Because of his treasonous behavior Absalom became banished from Jerusalem. David chose not to ever see him again.

Another son, Ammon was a pervert. He had twisted desires for his own half-sister, Tamar. He plotted with and took the advice of his evil friend to entrap her and rape her. He succeeded in his evil plan. The Law demanded that he be put to death. Not one finger was raised against him for two years.

tissot-desolation_of_tamar

Ammon, and Tamar Fleeing From Him

Tamar ran to the tent of her full-blooded brother, Absalom. Most girls would run to their father for protection and safety, but not her. Why? Was it because she didn’t feel protected him? I don’t know for sure, but that is my guess.

Two years pass and Absalom waits for his father to defend his daughter’s honor. David doesn’t.

Absalom then takes matters into his own hands and sees to it that Ammon is killed. David then mourns for Ammon and it appears Tamar is the second-class citizen, and still unloved. Her father never defended her. David never allowed the law to punish his son Ammon for what he did to Tamar.

It seems that David was never there for his family when they needed him.

 

My Family

Information and stories like this frighten me. In my mind, the Church, and this Holy Ghost filled life is the greatest thing in the world. Family is the next greatest gift of God I can think of.

 

I Ask Myself, “Do I Make My Wife Feel Cherished? Or, Is My Life All About Me?”

I really strive to make a conscious effort to make sure my wife feels cherished. My life is supposed to be about her and my family, not just about me.

In my loving God, going to His house, and serving Him, I never want to ever forget about the wonderful wife He gave me.

I am a husband who is still head over heals in love with my beautiful wife after all these years. I feel the desire to tell her often every day that I love her, and need her.

 

I Ask Myself, “Do I Make My Children Feel Cherished? Or, Is My Life All About Me?”

I am the father, the example to and defender of the five most wonderful children in the world. I am a blessed father. My love for them is not defendant upon their behavior. I love without reservation. Even if I don’t approve of their actions, they know that they are still loved.

I am Papa to fourteen and soon to be fifteen of the best Grandchildren a man could ever hope to have.

No matter what happens to them, they know that Papa will always be there for them. I often go overboard with sweet words and affection.

 

My Bottom Line

When to a wayward child I close the door to my house, more often than not, I have just closed the door to the church as well. My heart may break and I may cry watching them self-destruct and hurt, yet my heart and my door is always open to them.

 

Where Do Your Children Go For Help, To You, Or To Others?

Dad? Fathers will always be remembered and maybe despised for their lack of love. A wise father, even through heartache and tears, shows love to his family especially when they hurt.

A dad doesn’t have to be a king to be loved and honored. Even loving dads that are paupers are placed on the family pedestals. Just show them that you love them and even say, “I’m sorry” when you need to, and your family will think you’re the best.

I am greatly flawed as a man, a preacher, a husband, a father, a papa, and a friend. Yet, I have no reservation in showing praise and affection to the Lord, or to my precious family!

Today as always, I choose to express my total love and affection to Jesus Christ.

Today as always, I choose to express my total love and affection to my wife and family. If, (God forbid) they ever stray away from the Lord, I don’t want to be the cause. I have no ‘throw-away’ children.

Now Dad, Go Wrap Your Arms Around Your Family Like You Mean It And Love Them!

 

 

It Matters Not That The Whole World Sees You As A King,

If Your Wife And Your Children Despise You.

 

 

 

 

 

Written by Martyn Ballestero

September 16, 2014 at 11:52 am

7 Responses

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  1. What a great article , it again reminds me why I’m so thankful for the teaching I received as a young person from you and Sis Ballestero , The time you were my pastor has helped me in so many ways, You always made living for God fun and exciting & real,

    ben mckinnies

    September 16, 2014 at 12:18 pm

  2. As David has always been a hero of mine, I am astounded that I never really saw this side. Thanks so much for reminding us of the important things we have entrusted to us on this earth- our family. Love reading your articles!

    Robert moses

    September 16, 2014 at 2:37 pm

  3. Elder, Great post! I keep thinking back to a sermon by Rev. Jason Carr entitled “Close to God but Far From Home”. David was certainly a man after God’s own heart but I believe the thing we all must be careful to consider in our own lives and ministries is the time we invest to make our families apart of the ministry. Referring to Psalm 84:10 (KJV), “For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness”… This statement must have been very pleasing to God but how would this sound to David’s family whom he was more than likely neglecting? Great thoughts to think upon!

    Michael Warstler

    September 16, 2014 at 3:00 pm

  4. Bro ballesteroi have thought similar things about David .. I always have / had him on a high pedestal and still am greatful for his praises. But ..when I read what he told his son Solomon to do about shimei. I was deeply dissspointed because here I thought he was a man NEVER to hold grudges. So I’m still a little disillusioned …if you can expound on this please ..bless you ! Sis Anne apostolic acts 238 FLA…

    sis anne

    September 16, 2014 at 4:44 pm

  5. Excellent. And sobering. Thank you for sharing. May God help us all.

    Robert Martin

    September 16, 2014 at 5:18 pm

  6. It is interesting also how Solomon, David’s Son, had the same problem with women but that problem was amplified with him.

    Aaron Liford

    September 18, 2014 at 11:12 pm

  7. As I sit in this hotel room because of the job I must do, your words hit HOME.
    Thank you Elder

    Young J.A.Perez

    September 23, 2014 at 12:24 am


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