The Ballestero Blog

"That's what I'm talking about!"

That’s Why I Was Crying!

with 8 comments

The worried mother anxiously stood on the porch. What could be wrong? Why the delay? Her little girl was never this late in coming home from school. She knew to come straight home. Only something bad could cause a delay this long. Thirty minutes now seemed like an eternity.

Presently the mother saw her little darling coming toward the house. The little girl was wiping away tears with the back of her sleeve. Her eyes were red rimmed.

“What kept you? Why are you so late?” The words seemed to jump out of the Mother’s mouth. “And why are you crying?” The little girl tried to explain.

She said, “I was walking down the sidewalk with my friend and some mean boys rode by on bicycles and one of them knocked the porcelain doll out of her arms and it fell to the ground and broke.
The mother asked, “Is that why you are crying?”

“No,” said the little girl.
“Then why?” queried the mom.

“Well, when my friend saw her dolly was broken, she knelt down on the ground and tried to put it back together, but she couldn’t. So she just sat down and cried.”

“Is that why you’ve been crying?” the mom asked again.
“Not altogether!” was about all the child could say.
“Then why?” the mother again asked.

“When I saw that she couldn’t fix her dolly, I knelt down and tried to fix it, but I couldn’t fix it either. So I just sat down with her and cried too. That’s why I’ve been crying.”

This story illustrates how I have felt upon hearing the news of the passing of Janiver McClelland Brown, the loving wife of my cousin, Pastor Clayton Brown. I too had hoped against hope watching her struggle with cancer. I too have shed tears and felt at loss for words. Me, a minister, a man who uses words as tools, suddenly finds myself groping for something comforting to say. Words fail me.

I know that God gives comfort, peace and strength in trying times. But this time, I realize that I can’t fix anything. All I can do is just sit down and cry with you!

Janiver Brown… you leave a big hole in all of our hearts. No one can take your place. …

That’s why I was crying!

In Loving Memory of:
Janiver McClelland Brown,
December 25, 1956 – January 3, 2010

Written by Martyn Ballestero

January 4, 2010 at 10:22 am

Posted in Grief

8 Responses

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  1. dear bro ballestero,
    thankyou for this blog! sometimes being able to cry with someone is a gift. no words are required. thankyou for the word picture too!

    nancy norris

    January 4, 2010 at 10:44 am

  2. sometimes tears speak so much louder than words ever will..such compassion..


    January 4, 2010 at 10:57 am

  3. I was so inspired by this & thank you so much. I attend New Life Pentecostal Church in Enterprise. My Pastor….as you know, is Bro. Padgett. I enjoy your blog’s so very much. We had a brother get the Holy Ghost last night! It was AWESOME!!!! But then, we serve an AWESOME God. Thank you for the inspiring word’s each day! Have a Blessed day. I was sorry to hear about the loss in your family. We’ll be praying for you & your family.

    Shirley jensen

    January 4, 2010 at 11:28 am

  4. Thank you dear cousin… You always have the right words to say even though you won’t admit it 🙂 We will miss her unbelievably but would not bring her back for anything.



    Clayton Brown

    January 4, 2010 at 2:26 pm

  5. I would have written that if I would have thought of it. That was so precious & I am still crying. What a wonderful post. She will certainly be missed. What a sweet kind, gentle lady she was. My heart hurts so for the Browns!!!

    Carlene Branham

    January 4, 2010 at 6:37 pm

  6. Bro Ballestero, how beautifully put. I could never have found the words either. Reading this touches my heart more than you will ever know! And then reading your comment, Bro Brown, topped it off! I am so thankful to be part of the wonderful family of God! Thank you for this beautiful post!

    Wendy Wiggins

    January 4, 2010 at 8:24 pm

  7. Bro. Ballestero,
    That was so beautifully written I can’t even find the words to tell you. You have a wonderful gift the Lord has given you to express things so eloquently in your writtings or when preaching! I am so glad to have met you and glad that I am a small part in this wonderful family of God! I will be praying for you & your family on your loss. Thank You for your wonderful blogs & posts on FB. I am looking forward to seeing you again in March at NLT Sand Springs, OK.

    Matt Dennis

    January 6, 2010 at 8:09 pm

  8. Beautiful tribute to an exceptional person. Blessings to you and yours.


    January 7, 2010 at 8:27 pm

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