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Arrested For Flatulence

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Arrested For Flatulence

“Pull over right here,” my brother-in-law, Pastor Nathan Yandris, said in a tone demanding immediate response. I swerved the truck, pulling into the first available parking place. I could see no apparent reason for the hasty stop.

I only saw one person on the sidewalk. He looked like a bum. He wore a backpack, and his clothes were not freshly laundered. His hat kept most of the sun off of his face.

“He used to go to my church. When I first met him, he lived under a bridge and was homeless. I taught him a home Bible Study, and he got the Holy Ghost. He did great for a while, and then about 3 months ago he wanted to take the bus and go to New York and get his mom in church. He was only going to be gone a couple of weeks. This is the first I’ve seen of him since.”

With that, Bro. Yandris piled out of the pickup and walked up to the man. They greeted each other warmly. I watched through the windshield as they talked. I saw the man shaking his head, and moving his arms explaining something of great importance. It took him quite a while. I lost interest in watching their conversation, and focused my attention elsewhere.

About 15 minutes later, Bro. Yandris gave the man some money, got back in the truck and said, ‘Let’s go!” I backed out and he waved as I drove off.

“I found out where he’s been for the last 3 months. He’s been in jail!”

“Really?” I said.

“Yes, he said that he was on his way to New York, but the bus driver called ahead and they pulled him off the bus and arrested him in Joplin, MO.”

When I asked him what they had arrested him for, he said, “Flatulence.”

“They can arrest you for flatulence?” I asked in disbelief.

“Evidently. He said laughing. The 1st offence was bad enough. They took him to court and he was standing in front of the judge being sentenced when he did it again.  He said he couldn’t help himself.

“When the judge realized what had just happened in his court room, he covered his face and shook his head in disbelief. He then sentenced him to 90 days in jail for contempt of court.

“He never did make it to New York.”

*******************************

The religious leaders and critics were criticizing the followers of Jesus because they pulled corn from the field and ate it on the Sabbath day. Jesus announced to them that the words they spoke would defile them more.

Jesus reminded his hearers, it wasn’t what went into a man that was the problem, but that which came out of him.

  • Mark 7:18 And he saith unto them, Are ye so without understanding also? Do ye not perceive, that whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him;
  • Mark 7:19 Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly, and goeth out into the draught, purging all meats?
  • Mark 7:20 And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man.
  • Mark 7:21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,
  • Mark 7:22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:
  • Mark 7:23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

The words we speak and the things we do can get us in trouble with God. The spirit we manifest, is noticed by the Heavenly Judge as well.

  • Psa. 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

Don’t live so that the Judge of all the earth holds you in contempt of court.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

May 5, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Posted in Christian Living

7 Responses

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  1. Remind me not to let my granddaughter pass through MO on public transportation!

    Pamella Lemieux

    May 5, 2010 at 11:00 pm

  2. That’s a gas!

    kennethbow

    May 5, 2010 at 11:50 pm

  3. GRRRRRREEEEAAATTTT Post!! ahhh

    Kevin Archer

    May 6, 2010 at 7:44 am

  4. As usual your titles allways capture my attention. This is absolutly hillarious. Yet you bring a point from it that is so true. I definitly do not want anything to stink in my life.

    Joshua Brinsfield

    May 6, 2010 at 6:12 pm

  5. All that I can say about Flatulence, is, ……. big mouthed, Hot Air Preachers, had better watch out for the Judge.

    Howard H Davis

    May 7, 2010 at 11:58 am

  6. Thank you Marty for putting that Bible Class session on your Blog.
    Dad

    Howard H Davis

    May 8, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    • Your title captured my attention!!! What a toot, I mean hoot:)

      Sherry Hartzell

      July 26, 2010 at 2:56 pm


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