The Ballestero Blog

How Do You Know If He’s Repented?

How can you tell if she’s really done with her wild lifestyle? Marriages are under attack constantly. The desires of carnal flesh often guide the weak and vulnerable to ruin and shame.

After the heartbreak what next? Can Humpty Dumpty be put back together again? Can trust ever be built again?

Some just say they are sorry and nothing changes. How will I know if this is the real deal? How will I know if they mean it this time? I’m tired of going through meaningless apologies. I don’t want to hear another half-hearted “I’m sorry” again.

I’ve pastored too many years to not know humans have problems and need to change. I mean, really change. They can change too. But before they change, sincere repentance must sweep their heart clean.

Several thousand years ago, God laid down a guideline for the repentant. It’s there so that He knows and everyone else that’s connected knows, that true repentance has taken place. It involves more than words. It involves actions. Actions that loudly proclaim “I’m Sorry.”

2 Corinthians 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

2 Corinthians 7:11 For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.

There are Seven Evidences here, (or Fruits, or Proofs, or Signs, or Steps) of Repentance in God’s eyes. This verse is NOT talking about something that happens AFTER the Holy Ghost. This is what happens when someone really repents. Here’s how you know!

Verse 10

The sorrow of the world? Some folks are just sorry they got caught.

Only Godly sorrow leads to true repentance.

Verse 11

1. “What Carefulness it wrought in you.” Repentant people are careful.

• They no longer have numbers in their cell phones that shouldn’t be there.
• They have removed email addresses from their computer that shouldn’t be there.
• Careful people don’t work on the same job with the other person anymore. They transfer if necessary.
• Become accountable to their spouse and others if needed.
• Drive home a different route if necessary.
• They understand their flesh is weak. They become careful.
• If there is no carefulness, there is no repentance.

2. “What Clearing of yourself.” Repentant people make things right.

• If they stole something, they take it back.
• If they said something, they go apologize.
• If they did something, they make it right.
• “I’m sorry” is not always enough. God even wants to see if they are making things right with the injured party.  Matt. 5:23-24
• If there is no clearing, there is no repentance.

3. “What Indignation!” If they’ve truly repented, they get mad at the devil for destroying their:

• Marriage
• Home
• Reputation
• Finances
• Family
• If there is no Indignation, there is no repentance.

4. “Yea, what Fear.” Repentance makes them tread lightly.

• The problem, no doubt, started because of the lack of the Fear of God.
• Repentance makes the sinner wake up to the reality of God’s judgment.
• That Fear keeps the repentant walking the straight and narrow.
• If there is no Fear of God in their heart, there is no repentance.

5. “What Vehement desire.” Repentance brings an overwhelming desire to do right.

• There is now a vehement desire to live right and do right.
• No one has to beg them to come to church.
• No one has to beg them to come home.
• If there is no vehement desire to live right, there has been no repentance.

6. What Zeal. Their experience now is greater than even before.

• If they’ve only gotten what they used to have, they will fall right back to where they are now.
• True repentance brings zeal.
• If zeal is absent in their life, there has been no repentance.

7. What Revenge. What better revenge than helping others escape from the same trap.

• At this level, the repentant person has gone on the offensive.
• The penitent has by now, gone to the level of helping others.
• No revenge mode? No repentance.

Verse 11 concludes with:

“In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.”

Notice the word Clear.

These seven things are evidences of repentance. Before the Holy Ghost was ever given, Jesus said to sinners, “Go thy way and sin no more.”

Sin is a choice. The sinner is not helpless. The sinner makes a choice to quit sinning. When they quit sinning, here’s how you will know.