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She’s A Lady!

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She’s A Lady!

(From an old man’s point of view, with help from the two Beautiful Ladies in my life; my wife Marcia Starr Ballestero and my daughter Marisa Hartzell.)



Marcia June Starr Ballestero

If you are a Lady, it is no accident. A lot of caring people got involved in the training process.

  • A Lady is not born a Lady; she’s made into one.
  • Someone had to help her.
  • Her parents, her family, or someone close, participated in her education.
  • If she is a Lady, it’s not an accident.
  • A Lady conducts herself as a Lady.
  • She expects to be treated like a Lady and she won’t settle for less.
  • There are some things a Lady always does and some things a Lady would never do.

For Example:

1. A Lady Is Never Loud

  • She uses her ‘inside’ voice when speaking.
  • A Lady does everything to keep from being known as a loud mouth.
  • She doesn’t scream and yell unless it’s absolutely necessary.
  • She doesn’t rant and rave to get her way.
  • She always strives to keep her composure and show calmness.

2. A Lady Watches Her Language

  • She doesn’t use swear words.
  • She lives so that if someone did swear around her, they would apologize.
  • She doesn’t tell off color jokes.
  • She avoids being around those that do.

3. A Lady Is Private About Her Personal Life

  • She does not cheapen her life or others by passing along private information.
  • She would never ask anyone else about their private life.

4. She Would Include The Pastor (And God) In Her Courtship

  • She would ask the Pastor’s opinion of the guy she’s interested in.
  • She would ask him if he would approve of you two ‘seeing each other.’
  • She would invite him to pray with you about him.
  • A relationship with a wrong person may destroy her.
  • Someone worth marrying is most often found worshipping or around an altar, not hanging around the foyer.
  • She would break up with him if her Pastor advised her to and be thankful that he was watching for her soul.
  • She would be very worried if her friends didn’t like him.
  • She would be very worried if her parents didn’t like him.
  • She would honor her parent’s wishes and requests.

5. A Lady Always Tries To Be On Time

  • There will always be occasions when things run late. She tries to make that the exception.
  • A Lady has much more personal preparation than a man. That’s a given. She doesn’t abuse the privilege.

6. A Lady Pays Attention To Her Personal Hygiene

  • She takes a shower or bath faithfully.
  • She finds a deodorant that works for her.
  • She brushes her teeth and uses mouthwash if necessary.
  • She Keeps a supply of Q-tips .
  • She knows Cologne can be smelled from afar and that it can be overwhelming. She is uses it with moderation.
  • She knows that it’s not a substitute for soap.
  • She shampoos her hair and keeps her scalp free of sweat and dandruff.
  • She knows that just the word ‘Lady’ conjures up a picture of cleanliness and beauty in a man’s mind.

7. She Is Careful About Her Nose

  • She excuses herself to blow her nose.
  • She leaves the table to do it if possible.
  • She turns her back to the table guests if she can’t leave to take care of her business and then places handkerchief in her purse or out of sight.
  • She is aware that a wet nose is only tolerated on dogs.
  • She keeps her finger out of her nose in public.

8. A Lady Pays Attention To Her Clothes

  • She keeps her shoes polished.
  • She cleans and trims her fingernails.
  • She dresses with class.
  • She does not wear revealing and formfitting clothes.
  • She does not show cleavage.
  • She does not dress so as to leave nothing to the imagination.
  • She wears dresses that cover her knees even when sitting.
  • She knows that she will not attract a Godly Husband by dressing like the world.
  • She knows that if she doesn’t dress like the ‘world’ she won’t attract as many undesirables.

9. A Lady Is Gracious

  • She says thank you when doors are opened for her.
  • She says thank you when he pulls the chair out for you at the table.
  • She says thank you when a Gentleman assists her with her coat. (On or off.)
  • She says thank you when a Gentleman gives up his chair for her.
  • She says thank you when a Gentleman picks up something she dropped.

10. A Lady Has Dining Manners

  • She always chews with her mouth closed.
  • She doesn’t talk with her mouth full.
  • She takes modest sized bites
  • She avoids ordering food with garlic if she is going to spend time with ‘him’.
  • She never uses her finger to shove food onto her fork. She may use a knife or bread.
  • She doesn’t place her elbows on the table.
  • She places her napkin in her lap and not in her collar.
  • She does not eat as if she were condemned.
  • She knows a Gentleman is grossed out immediately by a Lady’s bad table manners.
  • She does not burp, pass gas or spit in public.

11. A Lady Is Careful With Her Dating Conversation:

  • She never mentions former boyfriends.
  • She asks him questions about himself. (Maybe he’ll catch on and ask her.)
  • She doesn’t yap on and on about herself.
  • She will open up and talk if she cares about him.
  • She doesn’t get too serious too quick.

12. A Lady Makes The Wedding Plans: (When you arrive at that decision.)

  • She knows a Wedding is the ultimate social event in a woman’s life.
  • She knows a Lady should have all the free reign she needs in it’s planning.
  • She knows that He should follow her lead and if He does, He won’t be sorry.

13. A Lady Doesn’t Want To Sound Like A Control Freak To Him.

  • She doesn’t try to change the music he’s listening to, even if it’s not what she likes.
  • She knows there will be time to play hers.
  • She doesn’t try to ‘change’ him as soon as he becomes hers either.

14. A Lady Keeps Her Ego In Check

  • She never acts like the world revolves around her.
  • She never pouts or throws a fit to get her way.
  • She keeps her emotions in check in public.
  • She will not participate in a ‘Cat Fight’.

15. A Lady Does Not Pursue The Man

  • A Lady does not openly pursue the man
  • She waits for him to make the initial call.
  • She waits for the man to come to her.
  • She does not cheapen herself to get his attention.
  • She will not throw herself at a man.

16. A Lady Allows The Man To Pay

  • She expects Gentleman pays for all the expenses.
  • She also understands that just because he bought her a hamburger, it doesn’t mean she OWES him anything!

17. A Lady Has  Phone Manners

  • She takes time to speak to his parents or siblings when they answer the phone if she has to call.
  • She will never just blurt just out, “Is _____ There?”
  • She knows taking time to talk to the Mother or Father will go a long way in helping her future with the family.
  • She will not spend her time texting other people when she is with Him.
  • She will focus on who she is with.
  • She shows those she is with how important they are to her by not texting or calling other people at the table.
  • She wouldn’t think of texting in church.
  • She would never be part of sending or receiving inappropriate photos and texts.
  • She knows that if a guy is willing to send her an inappropriate photo or text, she has just been warned as to his lack of morals, consecration and his intentions.

18. The Lady Knows When And Where To Draw The Line

  • She draws the line.
  • She demands respect of her purity and honor.
  • She would never make improper advances or say suggestive things.
  • She would never allow herself to be touched in an inappropriate manner or place.
  • She would never think of having to ‘Prove Her Love”
  • She would respect his parents, her parents and their pastor’s guidelines for courtship.
  • She means ‘NO’, when she says ‘NO”.
  • She understands that after she says goodnight, if she has to repent before she goes to bed, then something is wrong with her relationship.

20. A Lady Doesn’t Stay Out All Night?

  • She always honors her parent’s and the pastor’s curfew.
  • She knows that she should be home before midnight even if there is no curfew. Just to protect her good name.
  • She will protect herself and protect him, by not spending a lot of time alone together.
  • She will inform her parents about where she plans to go and what she plans to do.
  • She will make sure her parents have her cell number and invite them to call her if the need arises.
  • She knows the Bible already said that flesh is weak. It is weak. She will not  knowingly put herself or him in a position to be tempted. There is no guy worth going to hell over.

21. A Lady Will Never Let The Romance Die After Marriage.

  • She will keep the courtship alive until her last breath.
  • A Lady will always be loved.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

April 2, 2011 at 12:49 am

Posted in Life, Love, Marriage, Romance

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