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Longing for the Presence of God

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Longing for the Presence of God

By

 

 

Nila Marxer

Editor of The Ballestero Blog

When in the course of this world’s self-centered existence, pleasures no longer seem to satisfy. When there’s an emptiness within that cannot be filled with friendships, social media, entertainment, work, travel or prestige. If there still persists this longing, this emptiness, this abandonment of everything that once brought happiness, if there are moments when tears will flood your eyes, and there’s no comprehension as to why you are crying, when you start to wonder why you’re alive, or why do you exist in a world filled with hatred, pain, disease and every sin that exists, you, my friend, are experiencing a tug from the hand of God drawing you toward Him.

 

When life gives no pleasure, you may endeavor to search to find the answer. You may seek out various religions, inquire of philosophers, solicit wise men, and explore divinations. Some will experience with sex, pornography, lesbianism, homosexuality, drugs, and alcohol, and still find no fulfillment in life. The void will still be there. The loneliness will still persist even though you are surrounded by multitudes of people. Your life will be empty because your soul is empty.

 

The emptiness remains. It will always remain until a change is made within. The loneliness will still exist. It will always exist until you make a decision to turn from your life of sin and acknowledge your need of God. The hunger that plagues your soul, and the voice that continually whispers in your ear throughout your day and long into the middle of the night telling you that your soul can only be filled by the One who created it, will always be there until you respond. You may try to stifle it, cover it with distractions, ignore it, but it will not be ignored. God will seek you out. His longing for you will reach to seek you out in the bars, in drug houses, on street corners, in the middle of your great achievements, or in the depths of your deepest depression because your soul is responding to the tug of God wrapping and enclosing it with cords of love and gently, with tenderness, with compassion, and with great longing, He draws you closer to Him. He reaches into the mire of a sinful world to rescue you. You are the one He longs to draw near to Himself. He wants you. You cannot escape His powerful, yet gentle tug. You will be in the middle of some great entertainment and realize that this doesn’t satisfy. You will be on your high, and know that it doesn’t satisfy. Your addiction keeps you going back for more, but you still feel the deadness inside. God will gently drop a hunger down in your soul, and you won’t realize it at first as you try to fill your days with distractions, business, work, or pleasures. How, after you have lived such a sinful existence, can you still feel this hunger?  You were created in His image. It was for the plan of God that you exist. He, and He alone knows your thoughts, your desires, your loneliness, and only He can fill it. Patiently He draws your soul; daily He gently pulls it closer to Him, to repent of a life filled with sinful pleasures and turn toward Him.

 

When you have repented wholly of every sinful action, thought or desire you have done; when you ask this faithful God of heaven to change your thoughts, moods, desires and actions so that you can be transparent, and know what it’s like to live in freedom – freedom from secrets, shame, and sin; when you desire to turn from the life that you thought you wanted, you will be close to living in the presence of God. When you clean your soul by repenting of the filth in which you once filled it, you can wash away every trace of sin by being buried in the waters of baptism in the only saving name, the name of Jesus Christ.

 

Only then will the God of heaven deign to come into your life – a life cleansed from sin – and fill it totally with His Spirit. You will know the exact moment. Throughout the rest of your life, you will remember the day when this powerful and wonderful change happened to you. It will only come by complete submission. You will begin speaking in a language in which you have never learned. When God takes over your tongue and uses it as evidence of His Spirit coming into your life, only then the most powerful transformation will begin in your soul.

 

The emptiness is totally, and forever filled. The longing you once felt is satisfied, because your soul was longing for the One who created it. His presence brings love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. The change in your life will become so apparent you will feel this change. Others will see the change, yet there’s still more. When all self-centeredness, worldliness and pride are surrendered to Him, when wills, hopes, dreams, friendships, and desires are surrendered, and your life is wholly given to Him who desires to love, cherish, perfect and use you, it’s then, and only then you will find peace, contentment and completeness in this sin-craved world in which you live.

 

When you become so desirous to experience more of God, and become involved in His work, you will not take pleasure in your accomplishments and in your work for Him, but humbly offer them to God, not so others can see, but in love and humility and humbleness offer them to the One who gave you so much. Your desire to be seen and heard is no longer what drives you, but the drive will be that your soul existence is to be seen and heard by God. That His desires become your desires.

 

When you can desire Him more than the food you eat, more than the very breath you breathe only then can you really see the design He has for your life. You will not wonder, then, when you’re experiencing pain, financial distress, health problems, relationship problems, or whatever difficulty comes to your life because you are confident in the One who designed this temple of flesh, and will purge it of every hindrance so that you can become the complete masterpiece design which God had in mind at the birth of your existence.

 

When you become wholly dedicated to the will of God, and not question His direction on your life, communicate with Him in complete abandon, desire to dwell in His Word, it’s then that you can become the temple He will take pleasure to abide in. Only then will you be confident that no matter what life brings you, He will always and forever be there with you to face anything that happens in your life, because the circumstances, disappointments, and trials will only strengthen your fleshly temple as He continues to abide in it. Only then will you be a complete and holy temple that is filled with the presence of God.

 

 

Written by Martyn Ballestero

November 14, 2019 at 10:22 pm

If You See Me At A Distance…

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Written By My Dear Friend, Pastor Dennis Morris.

Guest Contributor

 

 

 

If You See Me At A Distance…

 

If you see me at a distance, just wave…

You don’t have to come my way, just a gesture of recognition and maybe a smile will be enough to make my day.

Your youth and vitality shouldn’t be wasted, because, I know it won’t last forever. Use it wisely and with precision, I could tell you how wasted time leaves many regrets.

Really!  I love to just observe from a distance the interaction of folks like you who are full of life and enjoying life with others of your ilk. You know, if you try, you and them together could accomplish a lot for God.

No, I’m no one of importance. I can’t offer much but maybe a little experience, I don’t have the energy to run with the big dogs anymore so I’ll just stay on the porch and bark a little now and then so the man with the shovel doesn’t get the wrong idea.

I can’t finance your project or do very much to support your burden but I’ll encourage you if I can to be the best example of a child of God possible, the rest will be added as God sees fit! God is the driver, we’re just along for the ride.

The so-called “Social Ladder”, never made it down this far, so hanging around with an old fella like me won’t boost your standing with the “In-Crowd ” anyway, so just a wave and a smile is good.

Oh yes, I used to rush there and then here and back to there again. I confess I was impressed for a little while by the “In-Crowd “. While I rushed right by a few Great men and Godly ladies that could have and likely would have given me some good advice about wasting my productive years on pursuits that did not profit anyone. Someone told me that the so-called “Upper Crust” was just a bunch of crumbs held together by their own dough! Hmm maybe so…

Oh, don’t take me wrong I didn’t ignore the good folks but what I did amounted to the same, from a distance I waved and smiled. The amazing thing is the big smile that came to their faces when I did take a little time for them.  I wasn’t completely unthoughtful but not thoughtful enough.

It wasn’t them that missed it, I was the loser.

Now I know how much I shortchanged myself.

 

It may sound like I’m having myself a pity party but, emphatically No, I’m not! I’m not being neglected or pushed aside, I pastor a wonderful church and I have wonderful friends and we communicate often. In fact, I feel very blessed.

I miss getting to go to many of the meetings that I always attended but because of life circumstances, I can’t. In fact, it’s as though God has sidelined me. Again, no complaints. I’ve traveled to mission fields more than most and had and still have some wonderful friends.

I heard it said one time that some preachers couldn’t preach their way out of a wet paper bag, I was probably included in that bunch but that’s alright, God has blessed me abundantly.

Besides all that, I made vows to my sweetheart over 53 years ago and I’ve never regretted it! She’s still my sweetheart, sickness and all.

I’m serious, when I say, I don’t expect sympathy for my situation or recognition for my small accomplishments, which are few and my victories that have never reached Goliath Giant per portions.  I’m just a bystander for the most part now, so just wave and smile, I’ll understand and give you the biggest smile I can muster, I promise!

God Bless!

Dennis Morris

 

Written by Martyn Ballestero

October 24, 2019 at 11:40 am

Contentment

with 7 comments

 

 

Contentment

 

Eld. Dennis Morris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phil. 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

God says need! We say needs! Our problem living for God often begins when having our need supplied by God isn’t enough. We convince ourselves, or the devil convinces us, that what we want is what we need. So, we become discontent, not just with what we have but also with God.

 

Are We Ever Content With What We Have?

Heb. 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Ouch! Content with what we have? Is that possible? The American way is to throw away and get the newest! Even if it’s not worn out or defective, it’s gotta be the latest! We constantly talk about and even covet what others have! Do we ever stop and think, God Almighty said: “I will never leave you”! The psalmist put it this way, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want”! Bro. James Morar said, ”I have the Lord, I don’t need anything else“! We need to stop grumbling and start praising!

 

Being Content Must Be A Learning Process!

Phil. 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Paul seems to be saying that learning to be content is a process! Hearing, repeating, practicing, hearing, repeating, practicing! All for the purpose of modifying behavior. Also, exposure to those who have experienced the learned change can be very beneficial in our quest! If we hang around the greedy, we will likely be greedy; but, if we fellowship contentment, we can learn by their example!

Saints and even pastors who are discontent with their church can have a negative effect on our spirit. Oh, don’t take me wrong, by all means work to see your church grow but never despise your “little“ church! After all it’s that kind of church where God saved most of us!

 

Being Godly And Being Content Is Progress! (Gain: furnishing, finishing)

1 Tim 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Instead of always trying to get ahead in the world, why don’t we focus on moving higher in God! The GAIN talked about is not material or monetary it’s Spiritual! That’s worth shouting about!

We used to sing songs like, “I’m Going Higher Yes Higher Some Day“, “A Higher Plain Than I Have Found”!

Moving up in God was always on our minds. What has happened to Pentecost? Have we become so materialistic that we are always discontented and disconnected?

 

When Was The Last Time We Were Thankful For Just Our Food And Clothing?

1 Tim. 6:8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

I understand the need to replace worn out and outgrown clothes etc. Cars wear out, houses get old, time alone destroys the strongest structures. Replacing or renewing is part of life but too often we’re not even happy with the new for very long. Someone else has a better one so our lip drops into a pout because we feel like we’re inferior till we get the latest! Ho hum… Almighty God wake me up to how very blessed I am before I greedy my way into perdition!

 

Written by Martyn Ballestero

August 1, 2019 at 11:37 am

Posted in Christian Living, Life

The Princess Within Conference, By Nila Marxer

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Two of my sisters, Nila Marxer and Carlene Branham just returned from the “Princess Within Conference” in Corona, Californina. This blog is part of Nila’s letter to me today about her experience with the inmates at the conference.

Nila Marxer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This prison field is filled with so many hungry women. There were 30 women who received the Holy Ghost for the first time, 18 renewed, and 12 signed up for baptism! We’ve been trying to get into this prison for almost 20 years, and finally we’ve had a breakthrough. Actually, women from this prison and the Chowchilla prison have been fasting on the 25th of every month for years for a Holy Ghost church service to come to the prisons.

I was humbled by their hunger and desire to hear the Word and to be loved.

The first picture was the entire group minus 2 people. The second was the Sunday morning picture of those who went. A lot had to go back home.

 

Fear will keep many people from doing the will of God and fulfilling His purpose for their life. Don’t say you want to be used of God, and not be willing to do what is needed to further the kingdom.

My life will never be the same. I went to the Princess Within Conference in Corona this weekend with anticipation of helping others, when in fact this experience helped me more than words can express.

Prayer and fasting had gone up for this conference, and when we completed the process of entering into the prison, setting up the equipment and chairs and setting out water bottles and sweets for each prisoner, you could already feel a powerful move of the Holy Ghost. Whitney Rhinehart began practicing songs, and others joined in. Everyone was involved. We did not come just to be a warm body, but we were needed. Those of us who had finished setting up were prayerfully awaiting the prisoners. When the door opened, and the women began filing in, worship had already filled the room. Some of the prisoners were worshiping and clapping as they began to find a seat. At first it took a while for the majority of the women to show up, because it was taco night, and they all wanted to eat the only good meal of the week. (The enemy was using everything to try to hinder this conference.)

The volunteers lined up to give gifts, shake everyone’s hand, welcome them, and thank them for coming. Some were shy, but you could see the majority of the prisoners craved love. Each song was effective, each sermon was powerfully anointed, and no one left unmoved. They came in worshiping like I haven’t seen in a regular church setting. Not just a few raised their hands, but every hand was raised, everyone clapped, everyone worshiped.

The first thing I noticed about the women, was that they looked like normal women, not like hardened criminals that I imagined. The majority of these women carried Bibles. Some of these Bibles were well-read and falling apart. In many of them, I could see various pages of notes stuck in-between the pages. I thought how many of us church people will go to church without our Bibles? How many church people take time to read God’s Word? Some of these women took notes on every scripture reference, and would look at their friends when a specific verse was mentioned, and would finish the scripture, reciting along with the various ministers. These women were well-acquainted with the Word, yet they were starving. Starving for the preached Word, starving for worship, starving for love, starving to feel the power of the Holy Ghost. My heart was lost to them within the first five minutes of meeting them.

On the first night, the preacher finished preaching, and opened the front for those who wanted the Holy Ghost. The women poured down to the altar. We volunteers stood in the front facing them, and soon were inundated by scores of women who wanted prayer. As soon as one received the Holy Ghost, there were many women all around them with their arms raised asking for prayer. I couldn’t stop crying as one by one these women were receiving the Holy Ghost. They fell on my neck, thanking me for coming, and showing them love. I wept with them, knowing they were my sisters-in-the-Lord. Not only did they need me, I needed them.
Before I walked into the prison yard, I had felt some apprehension, not knowing how this was going to unfold, but I can’t begin to explain the joy I had in being involved in this prison ministry, and the hunger I have to go back and continue to spread this precious Truth!

I was humbled by some of the testimonies I heard. Chaffey College was having a graduation ceremony at the same time we were having the Saturday morning service. One of the girls told me she was graduating with her bachelor’s degree. She said, “I had to make a decision whether I was going to walk and get my diploma, or come to church.” She was crying as she spoke, saying, “It was an easy decision to make. They can always mail me my diploma, but there won’t always be a Holy Ghost church service.”

Another girl said that she got her diploma, (missing the early morning session.) She hadn’t seen her family for seven years. Her family had come a long way to see her graduate and spend a little time with her. Knowing how little time these prisoners get to see their loved ones, the few moments together are cherished. Yet, this young lady walked down the aisle, got her degree, and then told her folks goodbye, because she had to go to church.

These testimonies gripped my heart, because those women cherish church above everything. So many women thanked me for loving them. (They were so easy to love.)

The first night I came home, I couldn’t sleep, seeing their faces lifted in prayer, feeling their hugs, and them gripping my hands tearfully asking me not to forget to pray for them. How can I forget?

It was during a worship song on Saturday when I felt God speak to me that I need to focus on His work. I had been focusing on my son who has been bound by sin and desperately needs deliverance. If I will focus on His kingdom and the souls that He loves, then He will focus on my prayers for my family and those that I love. It’s a win-win situation.

The last prisoner spoke to me as they were leaving and said that many churches have come to the prison, but never in her life has she felt such power and such love. She said, the love affected her more than anything. She felt loved by God, and by His people. She wondered why she had never felt love like this before.

I told her, “Honey, it’s the Holy Ghost love that you feel.”
My mind went back to the scripture, “This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you.” (John 15:12 KJV) Oh, how He loves us, and them!

She said, “It has to be, because I’ve never seen anything like this in all my life. Please don’t forget us. Please come back and help us learn more!”

I thought of the scripture that says:
“Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.”
Matthew 25:41-43 KJV

May that never be said about me. Lord, I will go.

Nila Marxer

Confusion

with 10 comments

Guest Blog – Written by my life-long Friend, Pastor Dennis Morris.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confusion

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

 

Confusion: instability, disorder, commotion, tumult.

I think we can accurately conclude from this scripture that there is an author of CONFUSION! Satan is that author!

Another conclusion is the peace authored by God is the target of the attacks of confusion.

Ephesians 6:16 speaks of the fiery darts of the wicked!

 

Fiery: ignited, to be inflamed with anger, grief, to burn or be on fire.

Caution! Sometimes even people can be fiery darts, inflamed themselves with passion for their grievances.

Flaming arrows, if not striking a fatal wound, can be distracting nevertheless. Inflammatory to the point that we take our focus off the enemy and put it on the immediate pain or danger, becoming confused about the problem and disoriented about who our enemy really is. Many have fallen prey to the spiritual tumult caused by confusion. Not suffering natural death but spiritual wounding some never recover from and suffering even death.

 

Peace: to join, by implication, have prosperity, quietness, rest, to set at one again.

God’s plan is for peace to reign in our hearts and minds. That we be bound together in love, with peace and joy our being our signature presentation before the world. Having through every trial and test “the peace of God which passes all understanding“!

 

James 3:16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

Envy: heat, jealousy, malice, emulation, fervent (or fevered) mind, indignation (taking offense).

Strife: intrigue (suspicion), factions, contention.

James lets us know that confusion has companions “every evil work”.

The fevered mind of envy and the suspicions triggered by strife make the perfect storm for confusion to cause us to turn against those who God instructs us to love and to even charge God for not caring and doing something to help us! Why God am I wounded?

 

Isaiah 9:5 For every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and garments rolled in blood; but this shall be with burning and fuel of fire.

(Confused) Noise: vibration, bounding, uproar, commotion, earthquake, fierceness, quaking, rattling, rushing, shaking.

Someone said that “War is hell”, I’m not sure it qualifies to be compared to hell but according to Isaiah there are similarities.

 

Eccl. 8:8… there is no discharge in that war…

No matter how bad it is, we can’t just decide not to fight anymore! No matter how fierce the battle gets we must not get confused by the noise and even the death and dying around us!

Satan hath desired to have you that he may sift you as wheat. Wheat sifted, is just flour, wheat ground to powder.

Satan wants to remove all resistance and leave us so devastated that we’ve no recovery possible. Giving in to the confusion will only make matters worse.

  • Fight the good fight…
  • Prove all things, hold fast to that which is good…
  • Having this same mind in you…
  • Run the race with patience…

 

As the battle rages don’t just listen to the clamoring and confusing noise. Listen with a spiritual ear! There is a still small voice, encouraging you to “fight the good fight”.

“We’re not wrestling flesh and blood,”

Go ahead “lay hold on to eternal life”

Child of God, don’t take a chance, through the power of prayer “put on the helmet of Salvation“ don’t get confused!

Written by Martyn Ballestero

April 24, 2019 at 9:58 pm

Can You Pass The Hurt Test?

with 2 comments

 

“Offences Will Come…”

Luke 17:1 Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come:

  • So, what do you do when they come?
  • How do you respond? Be careful.
  • Your soul may be at stake!

 

Meet David…

Dave sat on the bar stool, drinking with some buddies from work. His head was feeling a little light. He drank enough beers to loosen up his tongue, and he began to talk. “If it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t have a decent church building.

“I mowed the grass every week without ever being paid. I replaced all the broken window panes with money out of my own pocket. I never asked to be reimbursed. I hauled off all the trash, free of charge. I was the self-appointed janitor and maintenance man of the church. I did it for years, willingly and without pay.

“Every evening I would stop by the church when I got off work to see if I needed to fix anything. I’ve kept the church building repaired and I’ve kept it clean for years. No one has ever paid me a dime to do anything. Why, even last summer, instead of taking my family on a vacation, I used the money to buy shingles and I roofed the church by myself. I paid for every dime of it too!

“Then two weeks ago, they had a business meeting. They needed to choose another Trustee. My name never even came up. After all I’ve done, no one seemed to appreciate it enough to mention my name.

“What’s a man got to do to get recognized or be a Trustee over there? It must be politics or something. That’s why I’ve quit going to that church.”

Dave backslid because he couldn’t pass the Hurt Test!

 

Meet Lynn…

Lynn wrote the Pastor a check to purchase 20 beautiful white folding tables and 160 matching folding chairs for the church fellowship hall.

It brought Lynn much joy to be able to buy these. God had blessed her and she wanted to give something back. The pastor had recognized her gift from the pulpit and the congregation clapped their approval. Lynn smiled.

The tables and chairs were ordered and everyone at the church was excited. These were well made and expensive.

Just before they arrived, Lynn had to be out-of-town for three weeks. When she returned and stopped by the church, she didn’t like where the tables and chairs had been stacked. She especially didn’t like how they had been stacked. Her gift to the church was being treated with carelessness, she thought.

These tables and chairs were not cheap, and if the people of this church didn’t appreciate her sacrifice enough to treat it any better than this, then she just could go to another church.

Lynn moved on because she couldn’t pass the Hurt Test!

 

The Hurt Test, Part 1 – Insults

The Syrophenician woman stood in front of Jesus. She was breaking custom and protocol and she knew it. The Jews had nothing to do with the likes of her. But she had an emergency. Her daughter had an unclean spirit. Her desperation drove her to see this Jesus everyone talked about.

She crumbled and fell at His feet when she came near. With great urgency she begged Him to heal her daughter.

Jesus looked down upon the woman and said, “It is not proper to give the children’s portion to dogs.”

On other days, if a Jew talked to her like that, she might have had a little something to say back. Today was different. Her daughter’s very life was at stake. There was no one else to turn to. She refused to get upset. She chose not to be offended for being called a dog.

She simply said, “Of a truth Lord, but even the dogs get crumbs that fall from the children’s table.”

Jesus marveled at her and instructed her to go home, telling her that her request had been answered. She went home and found her miracle waiting for her there.

The Syrophenician woman easily passed the Hurt Test. She chose not to be offended because of insults and got her miracle!

 

The Hurt Test, Part 2 – Rejection

King David was a man after God’s own heart. As the King in Israel, he could build anything he wanted. When David told God that he was planning to build Him a house to worship in, God said, “No.”

God told David that he was a bloody man and that building Him a house of worship wouldn’t be appropriate. The Lord said, “I want your son Solomon to build it for me. Solomon hadn’t even thought of building a Temple. He had exhibited neither burden nor passion to do so up to that point. The desire had originally been only David’s.

Rather than pout or get offended because God had rejected his offer, David helped his son, by supplying him with most of the materials needed to build the Temple. If he couldn’t build the Temple, then he was going to help someone else build it.

David easily passed The Hurt Test. He chose not to be offended by God’s rejection of his service, and His choosing another.

 

Extra Credit Test Questions

  • If someone else is asked to sing a special. Can you still worship with them and help them sing?
  • If someone else is asked to preach. Can you still say amen and help them preach?
  • If someone else is asked to lead. Can you joyfully follow?

 

The Hurt Test, Part 3 – Loss

Job had everything any man could want. He had a relationship with God. He had a wife and wonderful children. He owned vast herds of cattle, camels and sheep. He was no doubt the wealthiest man in the world.

Then the dark day of disaster dawned upon him. In a matter of hours, he lost his children, his herds and all of his wealth.

The second attack upon him was his health. Boils covered his body. He scratched them with shards of broken pottery.

His friends were sure that he had sinned and this was the judgment of God. His wife suggested he curse God and die.

Job told his wife that she was talking like one of the foolish women. He said that if God lets me die, I am going to die trusting Him. I am going to keep on living for Him like I always have.

Job 13:15 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

Job passed The Hurt Test. He chose not to be offended at God because he had lost everything. In the end, God blessed him with double wealth and more children!

 

Extra Credit Test Questions

  • When you lost your job, house, or car, did you also lose your praise too?
  • When you were voted out of office or removed from a leadership role, did you show a bad attitude?

 

The Hurt Test – The Apostle Paul’s Summary

2 Corinthians 11:24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.

2 Corinthians 11:25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;

2 Corinthians 11:26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;

2 Corinthians 11:27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.

Even with a permanent “thorn in his side,” Paul passed The Hurt Test! He ignored his problems and encouraged everyone around him to “Rejoice evermore.” He said it again in the same breath, “Rejoice!” He even had Silas rejoice with him in prison and the Lord delivered them and all the prisoners, too.

 

Need Help Getting Help Passing The Hurt Test?

Jesus stood and read from Isaiah 61 in the Synagogue. He sat down, looked at them all and said, “This day is the scripture fulfilled in your hearing.”

Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

Isaiah 61:2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

Besides bringing salvation and healing, the other ministry of our Lord is to heal all hurts and bind up the broken-hearted. He can help you pass The Hurt Test.

 

*Notice:  All Students Failing To Pass The Hurt Test Will Be Required To Retake The Exam.

*Remember, The Teacher Will Remain Silent During The Testing!

Written by Martyn Ballestero

February 15, 2018 at 12:18 pm

My Old Man Is Crazy!

with 13 comments

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

I’m not saying he’s bipolar.

I’m not saying he has schizophrenia.

I’m not saying he should be in an institution or that he’s stupid.

I’m just saying he’s crazy. He’s very smart, yet he’s really crazy.

 

My old man’s not right.

I hate him too.

He embarrasses me in front of my friends.

When you tell him how horrible he is, he agrees but doesn’t change.

 

He even makes me cry sometimes.

He has hurt me so bad that I was embarrassed to tell even my closest friends.

I hate to say this, but I really don’t even like him.

I’ve even told him that I don’t love him and I never will.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

He does stupid and random stuff that truly scares me.

I am ashamed for him to be around me.

He lives in denial and keeps justifying all his craziness.

He likes things he shouldn’t.

 

He really needs help, but no one can help him.

He’s read up on his condition and says he knows what he needs to do.

But, I don’t think he is making any progress.

He really needs to stop and consider his horrible actions.

 

My old man is not loved by anyone.

His craziness pushes everyone away.

They all roll their eyes when he shows up.

His so-called friends just shake their heads in dismay and disappointment.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

He does things he shouldn’t.

He says things he shouldn’t.

He is very good at rationalizing and justifying himself.

He’s crazy, I’m telling you.

 

Some would like to see him dead.

I know some would even come to his funeral just to make sure he was really dead.

He’s just that bad.

He is so bad that God doesn’t like him.

 

I hate everything about him.

He’s horrible.

I loathe him.

He’ll never change.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

No self-help book has a remedy for him.

No prescription can help.

Therapists can’t fix him

Warnings and threats don’t seem to work.

 

And it’s driving me crazy too.

I wish he was out of my life.

I can’t tell you how happy I would be just to know my old man is graveyard dead,

My old man is crazy.

 

I told him he is not welcome in my house.

I told him to leave my family alone.

I told him that I cannot allow his influences in my life.

I told him to go away, I never wanted to see him again.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

I told him I am sick and tired of putting up with his mess.

I want my old man to be forever gone.

Judge me if you must,

I want my old man dead.

 

My old man makes me cry.

His actions are corrupt.

His words are deceitful, and his life is a sham.

I hate everything he does.

 

He wants attention.

His life is all about him and no one else.

No one can tell him what to do.

He hates that.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

My old man was always there.

He was there when I was born.

He’s been there for every event of my life.

Good times or bad, he was there.

 

That’s not even a good thing.

He gets all up in my business.

He meddles in every area of my life.

He messes up some of the most wonderful moments of my life.

 

I got to the place I had to tell my old man he was going to have to die.

He resisted and argued loudly with me.

But I wouldn’t budge, or back down.

He said he wouldn’t die willingly.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

So, I told him to prepare to be buried alive.

I forced him to his knees and kept him there.

I reminded him of every horrible thing he had done to me and my family.

My old man said he felt so dirty and ashamed, but I wouldn’t stop.

 

He cried and asked for mercy and forgiveness.

That’s when my old man died.

I started smiling for the first time in years.

My old man was dead.

 

“What shall we do with him?” Someone asked.

“Bury him,” I said.

Several gathered around to help bury my old man.

The Preacher buried him in water in Jesus Name.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

I shouted all over the church when my old man died.

The heaviest weight of my life was lifted.

My friends and family rejoiced with me.

I even told my neighbors that my old man was dead, and I smiled a big smile.

 

My life became peaceful and serene when my old man died.

I put a marker on his grave.

For all the world to see.

“Here lies My Old Man… Flesh”

 

(You’re not going to believe this.)

Some days later, I got the shock of my life.

I wanted to scream in horror.

I almost died from fright.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

There standing at my door was my old man.

He just grinned and pushed his way in.

This can’t be happening!

This is unreal!

 

But there he stood anyway.

My family cringed in fear.

How could this be happening?

My old man was like some un-earthling who could come back alive.

 

My mother told about a man named Paul.

He had a similar problem with his old man,

And he had to make him die every day.

Every day? E-V-E-R-Y DAY? Oh, No!

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

I took him to church.

I needed some help.

I couldn’t let him live in my house anymore.

He couldn’t move back in.

 

I told him to pray.

I told him to fast.

I told him to deny himself.

I told him I want him to die again.

 

He doesn’t make going to church a priority, he’s not faithful.

He won’t pray like he knows he needs to.

He doesn’t like the subject of tithes.

He doesn’t read his Bible.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

He’s a rebel.

He hates standards.

He hates preachers.

He makes fun of holiness

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

He gets defensive when the preacher said corrective things to him.

Like a macabre nightmare, sometimes he seems dead, then comes right back alive again.

I wish he’d stay dead.

 

He’s so bad, even God even wants him dead.

The preacher is tired of him, too. He won’t stay dead.

Many preachers have tried to get him to change but without any success.

The church family has tried to tolerate him.

His whole family has about given up on him.

 

As long as my old man is alive, my life is spent in vain.

As long as my old man is alive, I’ll never be saved.

As long as my old man is alive, I’ll never please God.

As long as my old man is alive, my inheritance is at risk.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

So now it’s a daily routine.

When I wake up in the morning and start my day.

He’s sitting on the edge of my bed.

Very much alive.

 

My daily routine now includes the unimaginable.

I have to figure out a way to make my old man die every day.

It’s not always easy to do

But it must be done.

 

My crazy old man.

My flesh.

Must die.

Everyday.

 

My Old Man Is Crazy!

 

_______________________________________

 

 

 

Joseph asked his brethren this question about his earthly father.

He called him, “the old man.”

 

Gen. 43:27 And he asked them of their welfare, and said, Is your father well, the old man of whom ye spake? Is he yet alive?

 

Today, I Ask This Question Of Your Flesh… Is Your Old Man Alive?

 

Eph. 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation* the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

*lifestyle

 

Paul Said That His Old Man Had To Die Every Day.         1 Co 15:31

Is Your Old Man Still Alive?

 

 

Written by Martyn Ballestero

January 20, 2018 at 4:24 pm