The Ballestero Blog

Longing for the Presence of God

By

Nila Marxer

Editor of The Ballestero Blog

When in the course of this world’s self-centered existence, pleasures no longer seem to satisfy. When there’s an emptiness within that cannot be filled with friendships, social media, entertainment, work, travel or prestige. If there still persists this longing, this emptiness, this abandonment of everything that once brought happiness, if there are moments when tears will flood your eyes, and there’s no comprehension as to why you are crying, when you start to wonder why you’re alive, or why do you exist in a world filled with hatred, pain, disease and every sin that exists, you, my friend, are experiencing a tug from the hand of God drawing you toward Him.

When life gives no pleasure, you may endeavor to search to find the answer. You may seek out various religions, inquire of philosophers, solicit wise men, and explore divinations. Some will experience with sex, pornography, lesbianism, homosexuality, drugs, and alcohol, and still find no fulfillment in life. The void will still be there. The loneliness will still persist even though you are surrounded by multitudes of people. Your life will be empty because your soul is empty.

The emptiness remains. It will always remain until a change is made within. The loneliness will still exist. It will always exist until you make a decision to turn from your life of sin and acknowledge your need of God. The hunger that plagues your soul, and the voice that continually whispers in your ear throughout your day and long into the middle of the night telling you that your soul can only be filled by the One who created it, will always be there until you respond. You may try to stifle it, cover it with distractions, ignore it, but it will not be ignored. God will seek you out. His longing for you will reach to seek you out in the bars, in drug houses, on street corners, in the middle of your great achievements, or in the depths of your deepest depression because your soul is responding to the tug of God wrapping and enclosing it with cords of love and gently, with tenderness, with compassion, and with great longing, He draws you closer to Him. He reaches into the mire of a sinful world to rescue you. You are the one He longs to draw near to Himself. He wants you. You cannot escape His powerful, yet gentle tug. You will be in the middle of some great entertainment and realize that this doesn’t satisfy. You will be on your high, and know that it doesn’t satisfy. Your addiction keeps you going back for more, but you still feel the deadness inside. God will gently drop a hunger down in your soul, and you won’t realize it at first as you try to fill your days with distractions, business, work, or pleasures. How, after you have lived such a sinful existence, can you still feel this hunger?  You were created in His image. It was for the plan of God that you exist. He, and He alone knows your thoughts, your desires, your loneliness, and only He can fill it. Patiently He draws your soul; daily He gently pulls it closer to Him, to repent of a life filled with sinful pleasures and turn toward Him.

When you have repented wholly of every sinful action, thought or desire you have done; when you ask this faithful God of heaven to change your thoughts, moods, desires and actions so that you can be transparent, and know what it’s like to live in freedom – freedom from secrets, shame, and sin; when you desire to turn from the life that you thought you wanted, you will be close to living in the presence of God. When you clean your soul by repenting of the filth in which you once filled it, you can wash away every trace of sin by being buried in the waters of baptism in the only saving name, the name of Jesus Christ.

Only then will the God of heaven deign to come into your life – a life cleansed from sin – and fill it totally with His Spirit. You will know the exact moment. Throughout the rest of your life, you will remember the day when this powerful and wonderful change happened to you. It will only come by complete submission. You will begin speaking in a language in which you have never learned. When God takes over your tongue and uses it as evidence of His Spirit coming into your life, only then the most powerful transformation will begin in your soul.

The emptiness is totally, and forever filled. The longing you once felt is satisfied, because your soul was longing for the One who created it. His presence brings love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. The change in your life will become so apparent you will feel this change. Others will see the change, yet there’s still more. When all self-centeredness, worldliness and pride are surrendered to Him, when wills, hopes, dreams, friendships, and desires are surrendered, and your life is wholly given to Him who desires to love, cherish, perfect and use you, it’s then, and only then you will find peace, contentment and completeness in this sin-craved world in which you live.

When you become so desirous to experience more of God, and become involved in His work, you will not take pleasure in your accomplishments and in your work for Him, but humbly offer them to God, not so others can see, but in love and humility and humbleness offer them to the One who gave you so much. Your desire to be seen and heard is no longer what drives you, but the drive will be that your soul existence is to be seen and heard by God. That His desires become your desires.

When you can desire Him more than the food you eat, more than the very breath you breathe only then can you really see the design He has for your life. You will not wonder, then, when you’re experiencing pain, financial distress, health problems, relationship problems, or whatever difficulty comes to your life because you are confident in the One who designed this temple of flesh, and will purge it of every hindrance so that you can become the complete masterpiece design which God had in mind at the birth of your existence.

When you become wholly dedicated to the will of God, and not question His direction on your life, communicate with Him in complete abandon, desire to dwell in His Word, it’s then that you can become the temple He will take pleasure to abide in. Only then will you be confident that no matter what life brings you, He will always and forever be there with you to face anything that happens in your life, because the circumstances, disappointments, and trials will only strengthen your fleshly temple as He continues to abide in it. Only then will you be a complete and holy temple that is filled with the presence of God.