Grief | The Ballestero Blog

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“The Desire Of His Eyes”

“The Desire Of His Eyes.”

Ezekiel had been given a word from the Lord, to speak to Israel. The painful part of this story is found in the twenty-forth chapter. The “desire of his eyes,” his wife, lay dead in his house. Yet, God commanded him to preach anyway.

“The Desire Of His Eyes.”

What a beautiful description of a man’s feeling for his wife. “The desire of his eyes.” She was the love of his life. One look at her, always made his heart skip a beat. He truly loved her. Looking at her made his eyes happy and fulfilled.

Every day, when Ezekiel was gone from the house, he couldn’t wait until he got home to see her. His eyes never got tired of looking at his wife. She must have been something to see!

Sadly, we do not even know her name. We have no description of her. Nothing is known of her, except that she was the desire of her husband’s eyes. Surely, she never had to worry about him looking at another woman. He only had eyes for her.

Experiencing Pain In The Midst Of Ministry.

Knowing that his beloved wife was dead, Ezekiel knew he still had to preach. She was dead! What utter devastation he felt! His heart never felt emptier. The light in his eyes had just gone out. His plans had just died, in the mid-stride of life. There was no time to grieve, now. No time to be comforted, now. There was a word from the Lord that had to be delivered, now.

Grief would have to wait till church was over. This was not the time to sob in sorrow like he wanted to. He put his focus and thoughts upon the work of God at hand.

In spite of his pain, he preached. Ignoring his own heartbreak, he continued on with his sermon. Forgetting, for the moment, that he was now a widower, he preached what God told him to preach. He knew that his world must always be submitted to God’s world.

All of Israel would have understood the need of Ezekiel’s emotions, to take some time off and mourn. Grief always needs time. No one would have faulted him, if he had asked to stay home from church that day. But he didn’t.

There was no one to comfort him. No arms of compassion were wrapped around him. No one offered to, “Hold him up in prayer.” He’d never felt lonelier.

Nevertheless, there was a word from God that Ezekiel must preach. It could not wait. It must not wait. His pain was secondary to Heaven’s mission. He must preach!

He must preach, in spite of his pain. He must preach, in spite of his loss. He must preach, even though the “desire of his eyes” lay dead. And he did preach.

He preached without letting his tears flow. He preached without soliciting comfort. He preached without mentioning his grief. He preached while his darling wife lay dead in his bed. He preached on, without complaining.

Ezekiel 24:24 Thus Ezekiel is unto you a sign: according to all that he hath done shall ye do: and when this cometh, ye shall know that I am the Lord GOD.

Ezekiel’s example became a sign unto his generation and to us all. He was an example of putting the work of the Lord first. God’s call came before his own personal pain.

Life is not fair. It never has been. Life has tears, and much grief. It is too often filled with overwhelming pain. But we must go on. God still has work to do. Do not disqualify yourself from His service because your pain and sorrow is great. Serve Him in spite of life’s heart breaks. Ezekiel is our sign, our example.

The Desire Of Our Eyes

The saints of God have a precious hope! We press on, just waiting for Him to split the Eastern Sky! There is coming a day when we shall look upon Him, “The Desire Of Our Eyes!” Oh, What a day that will be! The old saints used to sing songs like:

Oh I Want To See Him

Oh, I want to see Him, look upon His face,
There to sing forever of His saving grace;
On the streets of glory let me lift my voice,
Cares all past, home at last, ever to rejoice.

When We See Christ

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

What A Day That Will Be

What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

Is Jesus The Desire Of Your Eye’s?

Written by Martyn Ballestero

December 14, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Posted in Grief, Submission

Tagged with Grief, Pain, Service, Sorrow

Some Things, You Never Get Over

with 9 comments

Some Things, You Never Get Over

A well-meaning friend may speak a phrase that will hurt your heart for years. They may say something like, “You just need to just get over it.”

While there are many areas in life where that might be good advice, sometimes it goes off like a bomb. The loss of a loved one is something only time can process.

My Sister, Beverly Anne died at the age of seventeen. She was a sickly child that never got to skip a rope one day in her life. She never had a boyfriend or a date. She never got to go to school after the fourth grade. Her problems began at birth and steadily worsened.

My Mother was such a good caregiver and was very attentive to her needs. Beverly’s body produced no calcium. Her hair and finger nails would not grow, her eyes were bad, and her bones wouldn’t mend when broken.

She had the Holy Ghost, and early one Monday morning on June 4, 1962 she died speaking in tongues in her bed. We stood around the bed praying with her. Her pain had been intense, then it lifted and for a half an hour or so, she spoke in tongues and the Lord took her home. Beverly was 14 months younger than me.

I graduated from South Bend Central High School the day the buried my Sister. My Mom couldn’t come. Overwhelmed with emotions I cannot describe, my mother went to bed.

Especially for the next 25 years or so, whenever Beverly’s birth date of April 22^nd or June 4^th rolled around, my Mom would take advantage of a pause in the table conversation. She would say, from seemingly from out of nowhere, “Do you know what today is?” We all knew.

I’ve made numbers of trips to the cemetery over the years and visited her grave. I guess I was doing it for me. I’ve sat there on the grass and talked to her several times, even since I’ve been a grandpa.

Some Things, You Never Get Over

How can someone say, “You need to get over it,” and feel that one little blanket statement should work in every situation?

What about:

A wife whose world just got shattered by a stupid acting husband? Do you just say get over it to the wife?
When the loving spouse of 40 years dies suddenly? Do you just say get over it to the widow?
When you find out that your friend’s daughter is addicted to Meth? Do you just tell her father to get over it?
If disease puts your friend in a wheel chair. Do you just say get over it?
You get the point?

Some Things, You Never Get Over

This past February, I picked up my cell phone to call my Dad about something. Then I froze and sadly laid the phone back down. Daddy died in 9/11/1994. He has been gone many years now, but my inward need to talk to him is still present. It’s just something I’ve never gotten over.

No one else knows exactly how you feel in your grief. Someone else may have lost a child, a spouse or friend like you have, but they still don’t really know how you feel.

I cannot imagine dumping the harsh sounding words of “get over it” upon a grieving soul. That would be the ultimate indignity.

Tell them you love them.
Tell them you are praying for them.
Hug them.
Cry with them.
But please don’t ever say, “ You just need to get over it.”

The reason you never get over it is because you loved them. You cared for them. You needed them. They needed you. They enriched you. You gave them your heart. They gave you theirs. Your hearts were meshed together. Part of you is now missing. They left you with treasured memories that time will never take away.

Some Things, You Never Get Over.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

October 31, 2011 at 12:11 am

Posted in Grief

Tagged with Grief