The Ballestero Blog

That’s Why I’m Scared!

I have said in jest many times, “I ain’t scared of nothing, but I’m scared of that!” I was trying to get a laugh while talking about an uncomfortable subject or situation.

I am not a man who has phobias nor have I ever been called a fearful soul. But today I wish to reveal to my readers, that really, down deep, I’m scared.

I’m not the only one either. Remember what the Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Corinth?

1 Cor. 9:27 KJV But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

1 Cor. 9:27 ESV But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

• Paul was fearful enough to be careful.
• He was also careful enough to protect himself and prevent a personal disaster.

I have been overwhelmed this year with unbelievable stories of personal and moral failures.

I’m scared of being shipwrecked. I don’t have a problem admitting it either. I don’t have a plan ‘B’ in living for God, so plan ‘A’ has to work.

• I refuse to be disobedient to God.
• I refuse to rebel against Him.
• I love Him too much to want to live without Him.

Let Me Tell You How Scared I Am!

• I’m too scared to question God’s Word.
• I’m too scared to take chances with holiness.
• I’m too scared to take chances with doctrine.
• I’m too scared to see how much of the world I can have and still be saved.
• I’m scared of the spirit of false doctrine.
• I’m scared of my own built-in ability to rationalize the Word of God to my own destruction.
• I’m scared of the spirit of immorality.
• I’m scared of the lust of the flesh.
• I’m scared of the lust of the eye.
• I’m scared of the pride of life.
• I’m scared of the love of money.
• I’m scared of pride.
• I’m scared of getting a critical spirit.
• I’m scared of getting bitter.
• I’m scared not to forgive.
• I’m scared not to love my brother.
• I’m scared not to have the fear of God in my heart.

James wrote that a man could save himself from a horrible fate if he just wouldn’t make that first mistake.

James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

James 1:15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

James 1:16 Do not err, my beloved brethren.

One might say, ‘Brother, you are only living for God because you are scared.”

I refer you back to Paul’s fear. He was also fearful enough that he ‘died daily’.

Like Paul, I too have invested a lifetime living for God. I’ve loved every day of living for the Lord. It has been the highest honor in the world to have labored for Him.

I have preached many thousands of sermons. Why would I want to throw a ministry away?

I have lived with the most beautiful and loving wife in the world for 45 years. Why would I want to throw that away?

I enjoy the love and respect of five married children, their spouses and thirteen grandchildren. Why would I want to throw that away?

• I’m scared of doing anything that would disqualify me in the eyes of God.
• I’m scared of doing anything that would disqualify me in the eyes of my wife and children.

That, my friend, is why I must keep myself under subjection every day as did Paul, that I might not become ‘disqualified.’

It would be horrible to fall this close to home! It would be horrible to become a castaway!

That’s Why I’m Scared!