The Ballestero Blog

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My Homemade God

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My Homemade God

To be perfectly clear, I don’t have a graven image resting on the fireplace mantle. Never would I ever allow one in my home. I didn’t take a hammer and chisel, and carve out some little wooden god to bow down before, either. The homemade God I made cannot be seen by anyone but me. The one I made is in my mind and heart.

Since I created Him, it’s also my job to defend Him. I try to explain Him to my friends. They don’t always understand or agree. Those that don’t agree with the God I made, cease to stay my friend.

No one knows what He allows and doesn’t allow, any better than I do. I made Him. I am comfortable with the things He says. He always assures me that I am thinking right. If everyone else is wrong, He shakes His head and marvels at their stupidity.

I didn’t like the God some preachers told me about. I didn’t like the restrictions of their God, so I made my own. He is much easier to live with than theirs. I am not in bondage anymore. I have never felt more saved.


If I am Pentecostal, so is my God.

If I like the Republican Party the best, that’s how my God votes.

If I believe someone is wrong, that’s how my God feels about him or her too.

If I believe serving wine for communion is the right way, so does my God.

If I believe in a Pre-Tribulation rapture, my God knows when I want Him to come.

If I believe everyone is wrong and I am right, so does my God.

If I don’t think some church standards are necessary, neither does my God.

If I believe everyone should close their eyes when the pray, that’s how my God feels about it too.

If I think the worship music is too loud, it’s because I saw my God stick cotton in His ears.

If I think that speaking in tongues is not necessary for salvation, my God don’t either.

If I say that the Holy Ghost was only for the Day of Pentecost, that’s what my God says too.

If I am tired of being trapped in a boring marriage, my God understands and just wants me to be happy.

If I think I am holier than the other folks at the church, my God agrees.

If I think my wife looks good with short hair, my God likes it that way too.

If I say something is a sin, my God nods His head in agreement.

If I say it’s not a sin, my God smiles and agrees with me.

If I feel that a certain doctrine is unscriptural or unnecessary, that’s how my God feels.

If I think Notre Dame should win all football games, my God wears blue and gold to support me.

If I am comfortable with Hollywood in my house, my God brings me some popcorn from the kitchen.

If I believe Marijuana should be legalized, my God helps me find some.

If I need to use my Tithe to pay a bill this week, my God says it’s OK.

If I believe religious conservatives are all hypocrites, my God says amen.


My God Is Only Interested In My Happiness.

  • I am not made in His image.
  • I made Him in my image.
  • He always agrees with me.
  • He supports my every point of view.
  • Old friends try to argue with me, but I will not change what I believe.
  • I know I’m right.
  • God knows I’m right.
  • My God and I believe alike on everything.
  • I am completely in tune with Him, and He with me.
  • My God is willing to align His views with mine.
  • That’s why I love Him.


He feels like I do about Abortion.

He feels like I do about same-sex relationships.

He feels like I do about extra-marital affairs.

He feels like I do about the death penalty.

He feels like I do about wine with my meals.

He doesn’t restrict what I do or where I go.

He is not concerned about how I dress.

He believes my race is superior to others.

He confirms my beliefs.

He validates my doctrinal and ethical positions.

He also speaks English as His first language.


Making a God in my own image was pretty easy. Anyone can do it without any guidance. Sure, I had to fine-tune my God once or twice. But I think I’ve got Him like I like Him now!


By The Way, How’s Your God Coming Along?


Written by Martyn Ballestero

January 5, 2012 at 1:19 am

Posted in Deception

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9 Responses

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  1. My God! What a message!!!


    January 5, 2012 at 2:43 am

  2. I am so scared at the mentality of backsliders who don’t feel the shame for the way they live and post on Facebook how they are praying for certain situations for others. Reminds me of Proverbs 30:20.

    Great writing Elder.

    Mark McKinnney

    January 5, 2012 at 3:21 am

  3. Yahweh is The Same yesterday, today, and forevermore. He has the planets, stars, and galaxies set where they need to be. Everything has its place and for a good reason. Never want to get ahead or behind His orbit. He is Way, The Truth, and The Life. Awesome thought!

    Lawrence W. Wismer

    January 5, 2012 at 11:35 am

  4. Ouch! Wasn’t it Jesus who said, “Your righteousnesses are as filthy rags…”? This one hits closer to home than I like to admit!

    Crystal Smith (Morris)

    January 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

  5. Now I understand better the statement so many say “Oh, my god.”

    Mike Buie

    January 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

  6. Ouch! I stand condemned! Any hope for me? Thanks friend for such a soul-jolting article!!!

    Terry Wilbanks

    January 6, 2012 at 8:45 am

  7. copy/paste/print/preach…..

    R Kent Smith

    January 8, 2012 at 9:02 am

  8. Learning this the hard way. Thanks brother for the good swift kick in the pants.

    William Price

    January 23, 2012 at 5:48 am

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