Archive for the ‘Love’ Category
Ten Traits Of A Successful Saint
Ten Traits Of A Successful Saint
They Have Faith
- They trust God.
- Heb. 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
They Are Obedience
- They don’t argue with the Bible or the Pastor. They willingly submit to His Word.
- Rom. 6:17 But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you.
They Live Righteousness
- They live right. They are honorable, pay their bills, and their word are their bond. They give the Church a good name.
- Phil. 1:11 Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.
They Are Humble
- They are not proud or arrogant. Neither do they display attitudes.
- 1Pet. 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
They Love One Another
- They love, forgive, overlook faults, are not harsh or critical. They are kind and helpful.
- 1John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
They Surrounded Themselves With Godly Fellowship
- They are careful about influences in their life. They understand, carnal friends call pull them down and pull them out.
- 2Tim. 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
They Worship:
- They don’t have to be begged to praise the Lord.
- Heb. 2:12 Saying, I will declare thy name unto my brethren, in the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee.
They Witness
- They never forget who they are and why they are here.
- Matt. 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
They Have Personal Devotions
- They include the Lord in their daily living.
- Acts 3:1 Now Peter and John went up together into the temple at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour.
They Live A Holy Life
- They live like, and even look like someone who has given their life to the Lord.
- Rom. 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
When God Takes His Children To Six Flags
When God Takes His Children To Six Flags
To Six Flags? Absolutely!
While I understand that most of us old geezers have never gone, nor may ever go, Six Flags represents to many Americans a place of fun and entertainment.
Imagine the excitement around the house as children chatter about the proposed trip. They can hardly sleep the night before. They are pumped. They talk almost non-stop and their voices can be heard in the next room.
The names of fun rides are often repeated. Someone remembers being told, “Don’t forget to go to the Majestic Pavilion or whatever it’s called. It’s the best thing out there! Or what ever you do, go on the King’s Castle boat ride.
We have all heard stories of people waiting in line for more than an hour just to get on one ride. They all act like it was worth it and would do it again.
It almost seems sacrilegious to our ‘sanctified’ minds to suggest that the good Lord would ever take His children to Six Flags.
But He does! He’s a good Father who enjoys seeing His children enjoy their life living with Him.
Remind yourself of the Biblical use of words like Flag, Banner, Ensign, and Standard. They can be used interchangeably in the Word of God, and often are in most translations.
Let me tell you about a different kind of Six Flags. The ones mentioned in the Bible.
1. A Flag Called” Love”
Song 2:4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
- God wants His children to be found standing under the Banner that says, Love. Here is found not only God’s love, but the love of the brotherhood as well.
- There’s The Banqueting House too. Start the trip by being fed at God’s All You Can Eat Buffet. He serves up giant helpings of Love for those that are emotionally starved, insecure or need reassurance. Step right up, the door’s open.
2. A Flag Just For The “Outcasts”
Is. 11:12 And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth
- The eye of God is ever looking to gather His own back to Himself. He looks in every part of the world searching for those that are outcasts. (overthrown, tottering, cast down, thrust out, driven out and away from Him.)
- The Father always makes a way to come home.
- All you have to do is look in this direction, If you can see this flag, it’s God’s Welcome Home sign. It’s His invitation to all those who are weary, to come home.
3. The Flag Called Truth
Psa. 60:4 Thou hast given a banner to them that fear thee, that it may be displayed because of the truth. Selah.
- This Flag must be displayed. (Unfurled) God want the world to see this.
- All who gather here are not ashamed.
- Truth is on display under this flag. Keep it unfurled. Keep it on display.
- To them that fear the Lord this is a wonderful place to gather.
4. The Flag Of Defense
Is. 59:19 So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.
- The Father’s children live with great peace and assurance here. They have His promise that if things get bad in their life, that if they just come to this flag, that everything is going to be alright. There is safety here.
5. The Banner Of Rest
Is. 11:9 They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.
Is. 11:10 And in that day there shall be a root of Jesse, which shall stand for an ensign of the people; to it shall the Gentiles seek: and his rest shall be glorious.
- The Father adopted other children (Gentiles)
- His Gentile children all want to come here.
- It’s a place of Revelation.
- Here He opens the blinded eyes.
- It’s a place of Rest (Holy Ghost infilling.)
- There’s nothing like this Holy Ghost experience.
6. The Banner Called Worship
Psa. 20:5 We will rejoice in thy salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners: the LORD fulfill all thy petitions.
- The Flag is the one the Father lets His children raise up. It’s A Banner of Praise. It’s a Flag of Worship.
- Of all places to stop by, don’t miss this one. You haven’t had a complete Holy Ghost experience until you’ve stood under the Worship Banner.
- “Rejoice, and again I say, Rejoice!”
Have you gone with your Father to Six Flags lately?
The Boy On The Pillow
The Boy On The Pillow
My travel weary Father walked in the house and was greeted with hugs and kisses from our family. He had just returned from a trip to Brazil and had flown back to Chicago and then on to our home in South Bend, Indiana.
We all waited for him to share the news of his trip to South America and tell us what it was like there. Over one of Mom’s suppers that was fit for a king, Dad entertained us with wonderful descriptions of his experiences there.
After the meal we migrated to the living room and found comfortable places to sit while the stories continued. What is sad is that at this writing, nearly 50 years later, I’ve forgotten just about all the stories. All the stories except the last one, that is.
His last story wasn’t really even about Brazil. It was about what he saw on the plane coming home from South America. It was about a family across the aisle from him.
He said that both of the parents wore very expensive clothes. The Father was dressed in a tailored suit and the Mother had on her best as well. They appeared to be people of culture and class.
Resting in the Fathers lap was a large pillow that he had brought on the plane. His small son rested on the pillow. The son, although small, was not an infant. His face showed maturity way beyond his size. He was not a perfect child, nor a pretty one. His face looked like he might be 6 or 7 but his body looked like that of a toddler’s. His bones were brittle and easily broken. His deformities made some stare and others turn their heads away after a cursory glance.
Although it might be considered a sight that was a bit unusual, that wasn’t what really imprinted itself in my Father’s mind and in his heart. It was what the Father did that left a lasting impression upon him.
Although the Father was smiling, and gracious to those who caught his eye, his attention was almost totally directed toward the little boy on the pillow. The Father bent over and talked so sweetly to his son. He spoke softly and tenderly. He caressed him gently all the while hoping to elicit a smile or response from the boy. He fed him. He comforted him with soft-spoken words. He kissed him on the head and on the hand. His hands seemed to comfort and reassure the child.
The Father did not seem to be embarrassed because his son was handicapped or misshapen. He seemed proud of his little boy; he was oblivious of the stares and whispers. He reveled in his son’s smiles and gurgles. He was a doting Father.
With tears in his eyes, our Dad leaned back in his old green recliner, and he taught our family a truth about our Heavenly Father that night.
Dad told us that in many ways, some of God’s children are less then perfect. Yet He ignores the comments and stares on hell and He dotes on His children. Hoping to get smiles and responses from us who have been deformed by sin and are less then perfect. He comforts us with His words and by the touch of His hand. His expressions of love are unending.
That evening we all went to bed with an enlightened understanding of the love of God. Even though we are not perfect, we now understood that He still adores us.
That night and many nights since I’ve had to pray, “Thank you my Father for loving me!”
Catastrophic Bonding
Catastrophic Bonding
A catastrophe is something everyone wants to avoid. It sounds like the end of the world. For some, it no doubt seemed that way.
What do the following have in common? Most of them have reunions.
- Holocaust survivors
- 9-11 survivors and their families
- Sailors that spent WWII on a the same battleship
- Plane crash survivors
What they have in common is that their lives were in jeopardy and they survived. They came close to dying but together they survived. The only thing that bonds them together is what they have been through. It is not unusual for them to hold reunions from time to time.
Even High School and College Graduates have reunions and talk about past experiences.
Have you ever heard of the VFW? They have a meeting hall, a bar, and a club to talk about the days when they were in uniform. They relive the memory. They exchange war stories.
It’s what Psychologists call ‘Catastrophic Bonding.’ The glue that holds them together is the thing they survived together.
1. The Apostle Paul
His brethren abandoned him when he had to go on trial. He then gives God all the credit for helping him survive.
- 2Tim. 4:16 At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge.
- 2Tim. 4:17 Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.
- 2Tim. 4:18 And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Notice:
- All men forsook me
- (But) The Lord stood with me
- (He) Strengthened me
- (He) Delivered me
- The Lord shall deliver me (in the future)
- (He) will preserve me
“To whom be glory for ever and ever”… Paul was bonded to Him.
King David
Psa. 119:67 Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.
David experienced affliction. It didn’t drive him from God it drove him to God. David was bonded to Him too.
My son Martyn II, was a tenderhearted child. From his toddler years on, he wanted to please me. If he heard correction in my voice or saw it in my body language, he would run to me and hug me. He never ran from me. (It’s hard to correct a child that’s loving on you and hold you tight.) Why don’t we do that with God. Run to Him, not from Him.
Sis. Bobbie Shoemake sings a song that still makes me tear up nearly every time I hear it. “I’ve Been Through Enough To Know He’ll Be Enough For Me.”
I’VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH” BY JANET PASCHALL
When I first began to walk with the Lord,
I did not really trust Him,
How He longed for me to understand that I could
So thru the valley, He lead me, afraid as I could be,
Until I felt His loving arms, embracing meI’ve been through enough to know, He’ll be enough for me
He’s come through too many times
That puts my mind at ease, for good
I’ll stake my very life, He’s gonna take care of me,
Cause I’ve been through enough to know, He’ll be enough for meHow could I ever doubt a God whose hands hold the universe,
Why would I ever question His ability,
There’s no place that I can go, where He doesn’t know,
The things that trouble me
He’s always aware of where I am and what I needI believe Him now, after all these years,
He’s been so faithful He’s proven to be true,
Nevermore will I doubt or question why
Cause I’ve seen them all before and I know what God can doI’ve been through enough to know, He’ll be enough for me
He’s come through too many times
That puts my mind at ease, for good
I’ll stake my very life He’s gonna take care of me,
Cause I’ve been through enough to know, He’ll be enough for me.
Financial problems? Health issues? Relationship problems? Spiritual warfare? Depression? Heartache? Disappointment? Failure?
Don’t waste your trial. Let your pain and tears draw you closer. Maybe, just maybe, He’s using your catastrophe to draw you closer and bond you securely to Him.
Why I Dress Up For My Wife!
I’m getting ready to go to the airport in a few minutes. I am wearing dress slacks, a sport coat, a dress shirt and a tie. The occasion? I’m going to see my wife in Indianapolis tonight. I ALWAYS dress up when I come home to my wife! Why? I would hope that the fact that I took extra time to dress up, tells her I think she is someone worth dressing up for. I want her to think, to know, and to feel that I consider her the most important person in this world. I will always dress up for her. I try to show her, that I think she’s very special! I might add that my efforts do not go unnoticed or unappreciated.
So what’s my point?
My point is that we are living in a very casual society. My travels have taken me to churches wear adults and young people wear clothes that not even a golf course would permit. Flip flops, tee shirts, curlers in the hair, and clothes that no one bothered to iron or maybe even wash, are seen in too many churches. What’s the deal? Why are Pentecostal churches looking like “Nothing special is going on here.”
There Is A Curse In Being Casual About The Things Of God:
1. CASUAL IN ATTITUDE
UZZAH:
- Touch Ark to steady it and God killed him. He was too familiar and too comfortable.
- Casual Attitude brings Familiarity
ESAU:
- Heb 12:16 Profane = to treat as commonplace.
- Later he sought for God carefully with tears but never found help.
- Casual brings Unconcern
- Next is Contempt (He traded birthright for something to eat)
- (Heb 12:17 KJV) For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.
- He got careful too late.
ATTITUDE
- Gum chewers – almost never respond, and never receive.
- Demonstrates an attitude of a spectator at an event.
- A watcher.
DRESS
- Carelessness about attire tells God you don’t think coming to His House is important
- Some are very careless about modesty
- Many are careless about adorning themselves with jewelry like Israel did when it backslid.
Wear your best to church
- Dress up for God
- He hates casual!!
God said to Moses, “Take off your shoes,” you are on Holy ground. God wanted Moses to be respectful in His presence.
2. CASUAL IN OBEDIENCE
- Casual in Giving: Tithe/Offerings
- Sacrifice: God got tired of Israel bring him 2nd rate lambs. He wanted the best. No Blemish.
- Don’t be Casual in what you give God or Do for God
CAIN:
- Offered what he felt was OK to God. It was good enough for him; it should be good enough for God.
SAUL:
- Casual in obedience
- Destroyed as he saw fit. Used his own judgment. Didn’t obey the prophet and let Agag live.
3. CASUAL IN WORSHIP
- Pharisees – whited sepulchers, worship with lips, but heart is far from me
- Half Hearted worship too common in Pentecost
4. CASUAL IN FAITHFULNESS
- Why did he have to say, forsake not the assembling of yourselves together if they weren’t casual about their attendance?
- (Heb 10:25 KJV) Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
5. CASUAL IN COMMITTMENT
AMAZIAH:
- Did that which was right in the sight of the Lord, yet not with a perfect heart as did his father David
AHAB
- (1 Ki 16:31 KJV) And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took to wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Zidonians, and went and served Baal, and worshipped him.
- (1 Ki 16:33 KJV) And Ahab made a grove; and Ahab did more to provoke the LORD God of Israel to anger than all the kings of Israel that were before him.
- Your Casualness will cause you to provoke God.
- Fools make a mock at sin.
- Are you Casual with God? You’ll be casual with sin
YOUR CASUAL LIFESTYLE ANGERS GOD
- Churches without conviction (are they casual?)
- A Casual ministry brought Strange Fire
- Some silly preachers wearing shorts and tank tops in public.
- Even preaching in them.
- God is NOT pleased.
REPENTANCE IS THE KEY
- (2 Cor 7:11 KJV) For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.
- Yea what carefulness it wrought in you.
- Only Repentance removes the casual attitude
Beverly Coffee Or Marcia Coffee?
Beverly Coffee Or Marcia Coffee?
My friend, Bishop Gerald Adams, and I sat in the living room of his home laughing at each other’s stories. We had just finished a wonderful breakfast and our wives were in the kitchen.
After a few minutes, his wife, Lois Adams, brought a nice serving tray adorned with coffee, creamers and sweeteners. A few spoons and napkins were readily available beside the mugs.
Sis. Adams approached me first and asked if I would like some coffee. I readily agreed. She poured coffee from her decanter into a cup and handed it to me.
“Would you like some cream or sweetener?” she asked.
“No thank you,” was my reply.
“Hmmm, I thought for sure I remembered you drinking coffee with cream and sugar.”
“No, that wasn’t me. I don’t drink coffee with cream and sugar anymore,” I volunteered.
“Anymore?”
“I use to drink it with cream and sugar.”
“What happened?” She pressed.
“When I was in Bible School in Stockton, I had a girlfriend named Beverly. One day during a class break, we were getting some coffee. I put sugar and cream in mine. She was drinking hers black.
“She wrinkled her nose at me and informed me that I was just drinking syrup. I guess I thought my ‘Manhood’ was at stake. So I tried to drink it black. I didn’t like it. But I drank it anyway. After about 3 weeks, it didn’t taste quite so bad. So for the last 30 some years I’ve only had black coffee.”
Before Sister Adams could get a chance to respond, I saw my wife, Marcia, stick her head around the corner of the kitchen door.
She said, “Honey, if you like coffee with cream and sugar in it then why don’t you drink it that way? I like it with sugar and cream, why don’t you drink it that way for me, instead of drinking it black for this ‘Beverly’ person?”
I was caught completely off guard. I was certain my wife had heard that story several times over. Somehow, it had slipped by her or something. Because she had no memory of my story.
The Adams howled in delight at my discomfort.
I laughed till I cried looking at this woman who has never shown signs of jealousy before, ever. I held my cup towards her, and said, “Baby, if you want me to drink it with sugar and cream, then fix it up for me.
She promptly came over and took my cup into the kitchen. In moments it was back in my hands looking a rich golden color. We all laughed heartily at my wife. We promptly named coffee with cream and sugar – “Marcia Coffee!”
Brother Adams, between fits of laughter said, “Beverly would be very happy to know she got you to drink it her way all these years, and even got you in trouble today.” That didn’t help me much, but I smiled sheepishly.
Since then, every meal that has included coffee whether in public or private, Marcia will take my cup and doctor it for me. When she pushes it back it front of me I always smile and thank her.
Eleven years have now passed and I don’t drink Beverly Coffee anymore. I’m still drinking Marcia Coffee. When I am away from my wife, I will call home and sometimes say, “I’m still drinking Marcia Coffee!” I always get a good reaction.
It’s amazing and yet understandable what we humans will do to please those we love.
What about those of us who say we love the Lord, yet we don’t want to change from our old ways, and do things His way. Or even do small things to please him.
- What would you do to please the Lord?
- Would you change how you dress?
- Would you change friends?
- Would you give up a habit?
- Would you give up something just to please Him?
- Do you really love Him, or are you just saying you do?
- Are you in love or not?
I wonder how many of us, God thinks, are still drinking Beverly Coffee?
The Handkerchief Ministry
The Handkerchief Ministry
Whenever our church had a baby shower, or a special dinner or celebration that involved food, Helen Simon was the lady to see. If anyone ever had a gift of decorating and setting a beautiful table worthy of a Kodak Moment, it was Sis. Helen Simon.
She had been a member of Christ Temple Church for over 50 years. There are some people that would do anything to help the church and their pastor. That was Sis. Simon! She was a pastor’s friend.
Every special event found her involved. She worked long hours so that others could enjoy the occasion. On many such occasions, she brought her own “Old Country Roses” china from home, her own crystal goblets and cloth napkins with matching napkin holders and silverware. She spared no personal expense.
Diabetes was not kind to her. An emergency hospital trip provided the horrible news of the need to amputate her leg. Unthinkable, yet necessary!
Even though she was a senior, she was not happy about spending her remaining days in a wheel chair. But that seemed to be her lot.
Now her mobility was limited. There was no access to the basement fellowship hall. She couldn’t navigate the 2 flights of stairs. Her decorating days seemed over.
Not one to mope around in despair, she looked for something else she could do in the church that would be a blessing. What could she do? It was a process, just getting to church!
Finally one day she got it. She realized what she could do and be a blessing. She sent her husband Victor, down town to an expensive men’s store to buy several dozen of their best handkerchiefs. Then she washed them, and carefully ironed them. She folded them into a nice stack. Before church started she had her husband take them up to the platform and put them in the pulpit.
She said, “I might not be able to do much, but at least I can help my pastor when he preaches. If he ever needs a hanky, I’ll have one there for him. That way, I can help my pastor preach!”
What a Lady! Thank You!
I don’t know where all of the Helen Simons in our Pentecostal churches have gone today.
(They just don’t make them like the use to!)
Every pastor needs a Helen Simon!
When a Husband Offends His Wife
When a Husband Offends His Wife
by
Dr. Gary Smalley
When a husband recognizes that he has offended his wife in any of these ways, he needs to clear it up in order to restore the relationship. Why not ask your wife to check these that are true of you.
1. Ignoring her.
2. Not valuing her opinions
3. Showing more attention to other people than her.
4. Not listening to her or not understanding what she feels is important.
5. Closing her out by not talking or listening to her (the silent treatment).
6. Being easily distracted when she is trying to talk.
7. Not scheduling special time to be with her.
8. Not being open to talk about things you do not understand.
9. Not being open to talk about things she does not understand.
10. Not giving her a chance to voice her opinion on decisions that affect the whole family.
11. Disciplining her by being silent or angry.
12. Making jokes about her life.
13. Making sarcastic statements about her.
14. Insulting her in front of others.
15. Coming back with quick retorts.
16. Giving harsh admonitions.
17. Using careless words before you think through how they will affect her.
18. Nagging her in harshness.
19. Rebuking her before giving her a chance to explain a situation.
20. Raising your voice at her.
21. Making critical comments with no logical basis
22. Swearing or using foul language in her presence.
23. Correcting her in public.
24. Being tactless when pointing out her weaknesses or blind spots.
25. Reminding her angrily that you warned her not to do something.
26. Having a disgusted or judgmental attitude.
27. Pressuring her when she is already feeling low or offended.
28. Lecturing her when she needs to be comforted, encouraged or treated gently.
29. Breaking promises without any explanation or without being asked to be released from the promise.
30.Telling her how wonderful other women are and comparing her to other women.
31. Holding resentment about something she did and tried to make right.
32. Being disrespectful to her family and relatives
33. Coercing her into an argument.
34. Correcting or punishing her in anger for something for which she is not guilty.
35. Not praising her for something she did well even if she did it for you.
36. Treating her like a little child.
37. Being rude to her or to other people in public, like restaurant personnel or clerks.
38. Being unaware of her needs
39. Being ungrateful.
40. Not trusting her.
41. Not approving of what she does or how she does it.
42. Not being interested in her own personal growth.
43. Being inconsistent or having double standards (doing things you won’t allow her to do.)
44. Not giving her advice when she really needs it and asks for it.
45. Not telling her you love her.
46. Having prideful and arrogant attitudes in general.
47. Not giving daily encouragement.
48. Failing to include her in a conversation when you are with other people.
49. Failing to spend quality time with her when you’re at a party.
50. “Talking her down” – continuing to discuss or argue a point just to prove you’re right.
51. Ignoring her around the house as if she weren’t a member of the family.
52. Not taking time to listen to what she believes is important as soon as you come home from work.
53. Ignoring her at social gatherings.
54. Not attending church as a family.
55. Failure to express honestly what you think her innermost feelings are.
56. Showing more excitement for work or other activities than her.
57. Being impolite at mealtime.
58. Having sloppy manners around the house and in front of others.
59. Not inviting her out on romantic dates from time to time (just the two of you).
60. Not helping her with the children just before mealtime or during times of extra stress.
61. Not volunteering to help her with the dishes occasionally, or with cleaning the house.
62. Making her feel stupid when she shares an idea about your work or decisions that need to be made.
63. Making her feel unworthy for desiring certain furniture or insurance or other material needs for herself and the family.
64. Not being consistent with the children; not taking an interest in playing with them or spending quality and quantity time with them.
65. Not showing public affection for her, like holding her hand or putting your arm around her. (You seem to be embarrassed to be with her.)
66. Not sharing your life with her, like your ideas or your feelings (e.g. what’s going on at work).
67. Not being the spiritual leader of your home.
68. Demanding that she submit to you.
69. Demanding that she be involved with you sexually when you are not in harmony.
70. Being unwilling to admit you’re wrong.
71. Resisting whenever she shares on of your blind spots.
72. Being too busy with work and activities.
73. Not showing compassion and understanding for her and the children when there is a real need.
74. Not planning for the future, making her vary insecure.
75. Being stingy with money, making her feel like she is being paid a salary – and not much at all.
76. Wanting to do things to embarrass her sexually.
77. Reading sexual magazines in front of her or the children.
78. Forcing her to make many of the decisions regarding the checkbook and bills.
79. Forcing her to handle bill collectors and overdue bills.
80. Not letting her lean on your gentleness and strength from time to time.
81. Not allowing her to fail – always feeling like you have to lecture her.
82. Refusing to let her be a woman.
83. Criticizing her womanly characteristics or sensitivity as being weak.
84. Spending too much money and getting the family too far into debt.
85. Not having a sense of humor and not joking about things together.
86. Not telling her how important she is to you.
87. Not sending her love letters from time to time.
88. Forgetting special dates like anniversaries or birthdays.
89. Not defending her when someone else is complaining or tearing her down.
90. Not putting your arm around her and hugging her when she’s in need of comfort.
91. Not bragging to other people about her.
92. Being dishonest
93. Discouraging her for trying to better herself either through education or physical fitness.
94. Continuing distasteful habits.
95. Not treating her as if “Handle With Care” was stamped on her forehead.
96. Ignoring her relatives and the people that are important to her.
97. Taking her for granted, assuming that ‘a woman’s work is never done” around the house.
98. Not including her in the future plans until the very last minute.
99. Never doing little unexpected things for her.
100. Not treating her like an intellectual equal.
101. Looking at her as a weaker individual in general.
102. Being preoccupied with your own goals and needs making her feel like she and the children do not count.
103. Threatening never to let her do something again because she made a mistake in the past.
104. Criticizing her behind her back. (This is really painful for her to hear about your criticisms from someone else.
105. Blaming her for the things in your relationship that are clearly your failure.
106. Not being aware of her physical limitations, treating her like a man by roughhousing with her or making her carry heaving objects.
107. Losing patience or getting angry with her when she can’t keep up with your schedule or physical stamina.
108. Acting like you’re a martyr if you go along with her opinions.
109. Sulking when she challenges your comments.
110. Joining too many organizations which exclude her and the children.
111. Failing to repair items around the house.
112. Watching too much TV or playing video games and therefore neglecting her and the children.
113. Demanding that she sit and listen to your point of view when she needs to be taking care of the children’s needs.
114. Insisting on lecturing her in order to convey what you believe are important things.
115. Humiliating her with words and actions, saying things like, “I can’t stand living in a pig pen.”
116. Not taking time to prepare her for enjoy sexual intimacy.
117. Spending money extravagantly without helping those less fortunate.
118. Avoiding family activities that the children enjoy.
119. Taking vacations that are primarily for your pleasure, like fishing or hunting while preventing her from shopping or doing things she enjoys.
120. Not letting her get away from the children just to be with friends, go shopping for special items, or have a trip away with her friends.
121. Being unwilling to join her in things she enjoys like shopping, going out for coffee and desert at a restaurant.
122. Not understanding the boring chores a housewife does: like picking up clothes and toys all day long, wiping runny noses, putting on and taking off muddy work boots and jackets, washing and ironing, etc. etc.
100 Ways You Can Love Your Wife Her Way
I am reading a book by Gary Smalley. “Hidden Keys of a Loving Lasting Marriage.” Mr. Smalley has several lists in this book that may prove important to your marriage.
(My experience as a former pastor is that those that have problems at home, wind up having problems at church.)
100 Ways You Can Love Your Wife Her Way.
Discuss this list with your wife.
- Ask her to check the ones that are meaningful to her
- Arrange them in order of importance to her.
- Use the list as a basis for learning her views.
I know your relationship will be greatly strengthened as you learn how to use these suggestions.
100 Ways
1.Communicate with her; never close her out.
2. Regard her as important.
3. Do everything you can to understand her feelings.
4. Be interested in her family.
5. Ask her opinion frequently.
6. Value what she says.
7. Let her feel your approval and affection.
8. Protect her on a daily basis.
9. Be gentle and tender with her.
10. Develop a sense of humor.
11. Avoid sudden major changes without discussion or giving her time to adjust.
12. Learn to respond openly and verbally when she wants to communicate.
13. Comfort her when she is down emotionally. For instance put your arms around her and silently hold her for a few seconds without lectures or putdowns.
14. Be interested in what she feels is important in life.
15. Correct her gently and tenderly.
16. Allow her to teach you without putting up your defenses.
17. Make special time available to her and your children.
18. Be trustworthy.
19. Compliment her often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, either in words or in actions.
21. Have specific family goals for each year.
22. Let her buy things she considers necessary.
23. Be forgiving when she offends you.
24. Show her you need her.
25. Accept her the way she is; discover her uniqueness as special.
26. Admit your mistakes. Don’t be afraid to be humble.
27. Lead your family in a spiritual relationship with God.
28.Allow your wife to fail; discuss what went wrong after you have comforted her.
29. Rub her feet or neck after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly.
31. Go on romantic outings,
32. Write her a letter occasionally, telling her how much you love her.
33. Surprise her with a card or flowers.
34. Express how much you appreciate her.
35. Tell her how proud you are of her.
36. Give advice in a loving way when she asks for it.
37. Defend her to others.
38. Prefer her over others.
39. Do not expect her to do activities beyond her emotional or physical capabilities.
40. Pray for her to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take time to notice what she has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about her to other people behind her back.
43. Tell her about your job if she is interested.
44. Share your thoughts and feelings with her.
45. Take time to know how she spends her day at work or at home.
46. Learn to enjoy what she enjoys.
47. Take care of the kids before dinner.
48. Help straighten up the house before mealtime.
49. Let her take a bubble bath while you do the dishes.
50. Understand her physical limitations if you have several children.
51. Discipline the children in love, not in anger.
52. Help her finish her goals — hobbies or education.
53. Treat her as if God hand stamped on her forehead, “Handle with care.”
54. Get rid of habits that annoy her.
55. Be gentle and thoughtful of her relatives.
56. Do not compare her relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank her for things she has done without expecting anything in return.
58. Do not expect the band to play when you help with house cleaning.
59. Make sure she understands everything you are planning to do.
60. Do little things for her – An unexpected kiss, coffee in bed.
61. Treat her as an intellectual equal.
62. Find out if she wants to be treated as physically weaker.
63. Discover her fears in life.
64. See what you can do to eliminate her fears.
65. Discover her intimate needs.
66. Ask if she wants to discuss how you can meet her intimate needs.
67.Find out what makes her insecure.
68. Plan your future together.
69. Do not quarrel over words, but try to find hidden meanings.
70. Practice common courtesies like holding the door open for her or pouring her coffee.
71. Ask if you offend her in any way when being intimate with her.
72. Ask if she is jealous of anyone.
73. She if she is uncomfortable about the way money is spent.
74. Take her on dates now and then.
75. Hold her hand in public.
76. Put your arm around her in front of friends.
77. Tell her you love her — often.
78. Remember anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.
79. Learn to enjoy shopping.
80. Teach her to hunt and fish or whatever you enjoy doing.
81. Give her a special gift from time to time.
82. Share the responsibilities around the house.
83. Do not belittle her feminine characteristics.
84. Let her express herself freely, without fear of being called stupid, or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words, especially when angry.
86. Do not criticize her in front of others.
87. Do not let her see you become excited about the physical features of another woman.
88. Be sensitive to other people.
89. Let your family know that you want to spend special time with them.
90. Fix dinner for her from time to time.
91. Be sympathetic when she is sick.
92. Call her when you are going to be late.
93. Do not disagree with her in front of the children.
94. Take her out to dinner and for little getaways.
95. Do the “little things” she needs from time to time.
96. Give her special time to be alone or with her friends.
97. Buy her what she considers an intimate gift.
98. Read a book she recommends to you.
99. Give her an engraved plaque assuring her of your lasting love.
100. Write a poem about how special she is.
If your wife persistently reacts negatively to you, it may be because she perceives a threat to one or both of two important areas: 1) her security 2) her established relationships.
How To Have The Best Wife In The World!
How To Have The Best Wife In The World!
It’s true! It’s easy! It works!
Before I can explain how and you gentlemen are allowed to know the secret and get all excited, I have to talk to you about God first. That’s exactly right. I have to talk about God and You. Listen up.
There are seven basic Hebrew words that describe how we are to worship and praise the Lord. Below is a part of a handout from one of my sermons.
The Seven Words Of Praise
1. BARAK Judg 5:2 Praise ye the LORD for the avenging of Israel, when the people willingly offered themselves.
2. HALAL 2Chrn. 5:13-14; It came even to pass, as the trumpeters and singers were as one, to make one sound to be heard in praising and thanking the LORD;
3. ZAMAR Psa. 21:13; Be thou exalted, LORD, in thine own strength: so will we sing and praise thy power.
4. TEHILLAH Psa. 22:3 But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.
5. YADAH Psa. 7:17 I will praise the LORD according to his righteousness: and will sing praise to the name of the LORD most high.
6. SHABACH Psa. 117:1 O Praise the LORD, all ye nations: praise him, all ye people.
7. TOWDAH Psa 50:23 Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I show the salvation of God.
The second one listed here is the one we want to really need to understand better. It’s the Hebrew word Halal.
HALAL – haw-lal’; to shine; hence
- to make a show, (let every one know)
- to be (clamorously) foolish; (enjoy with enthusiasm)
- to rave; (to go on and on with excited appreciation)
- to boast, (brag in public)
- celebrate, (honor every achievement)
- foolishly glory, (go overboard in expressing praise)
- sing, (to express your emotion as deeply as possible, sing His praises.)
- praise, (to say every nice thing you can)
- rage, (to be wild about)
- When joined with abbreviated form of God’s name “Yahweh” = Hallelujah. That’s where the word Hallelujah comes from.
(Saying Hallelujah is like saying 10,000 praises to Jehovah)
Something special happened to Israel when they began to Halal!
2 Chr 5:13 It came even to pass, as the trumpeters and singers were as one, to make one sound to be heard in praising and thanking the LORD; and when they lifted up their voice with the trumpets and cymbals and instruments of music, and praised the LORD, saying, For he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever: that then the house was filled with a cloud, even the house of the LORD;
2 Chr 5:14 So that the priests could not stand to minister by reason of the cloud: for the glory of the LORD had filled the house of God.
- God wants Exuberant, Joyful and Clamorous Praise!
- Halal touches the heart of God so deeply that in the midst of praise… the Glory Cloud fills the place and all the priests are overwhelmed by the response.
If we want the Glory Cloud to enter our church services. Then we must never forget to importance of Halal praise. Not dead church. Not quiet church. Not reserved worship. Not “still waters run deep” kind of singing. But Exuberant, Joyful and Clamorous Praise!
OK! So what does all this Bible Study have to do with having The Best Wife In The World? Why, Everything!!
I Know This Is Lengthy, But At Least Notice The Bold Words!
Prov. 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Prov. 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
Prov. 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Prov. 31:13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
Prov. 31:14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
Prov. 31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
Prov. 31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
Prov. 31:17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
Prov. 31:18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
Prov. 31:19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
Prov. 31:20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
Prov. 31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Prov. 31:22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Prov. 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
Prov. 31:24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Prov. 31:25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Prov. 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Prov. 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Prov. 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Prov. 31:29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Prov. 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
- This woman was amazing!
- She is the one held up to all Christian women as THE role model.
- Some men may read about her and marvel. They may even feel cheated.
We often quote the phrase, ‘Her children shall call her blessed.’ That really is wonderful.
But What Every Man Should Focus On Is Verse 28!
- Her husband praiseth her! (Progressive verb ending, eth, meaning he keeps on praising her.)
- The word praiseth, here is… you guessed it, Halal.
(I will always be indebted to my friend, Bro. Kenneth Bow, in his research he discovered the Hebrew verb Halal in Proverbs 31 and shared that with me.)
- How Did The ‘Proverbs 31’ Wife Become So Awesome?
- Was She Some Rarity That Only Happens Once Every 1,000 Years? I Don’t Believe So.
- Could It Be That The Constant Praising (Halal) Of Her Husband Brought Out The Best In Her? I Believe It Did!
- He Invested His Best Praise (Halal) In Her And She Gave Him Her Best!
HALAL – haw-lal’; to shine; hence
- to make a show, (let every one know)
- to be (clamorously) foolish; (enjoy with enthusiasm)
- to rave; (to go on and on with excited appreciation)
- to boast, (brag in public)
- celebrate, (honor every achievement)
- foolishly glory, (go overboard in expressing praise)
- sing, (to express your emotion as deeply as possible, sing Her praises.)
- praise, (to say every nice thing you can)
- rage, (to be wild about)
If you think God’s response of filling the house with his Glory so that the men couldn’t stand because their Halal was great, then sir you just wait till the ‘glory of your wife’ fills your house when you Halal her!
Do it! Do all 9 of them! You’ll never be sorry! It’s never too late to start!
Put some Halal in your marriage and you will have The Best Wife In The World. I promise!
Apostolic Expository Series
Christy Ballestero (My Beautiful DIL)
http://marciaballestero.com/
Pastor Anthony & Kim Ballestero, New Destiny Worship Center, Clearwater, FL (My Son)
Pastor Bryan & Christy Ballestero, Temple Of Pentecost, Raleigh, NC (My Son)
James Groce Blog – "Toward The Mark"
Kenneth Bow Blog
Kingdom Speak Podcast
Philip Harrelson – "The Barnabas Blog"
Verbal Bean Ministries
Holy Ghost Radio
The Ballestero Blog 