The Ballestero Blog

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Archive for the ‘Respect’ Category

The Obed-Edom Interview

with 2 comments

Several years ago, I heard one of the most amazing sermons I will ever hear in my life. It was Bro. Kenneth Bow’s sermon about Obed-Edom. It was anointed and unforgettable.  His love for research and attention to historical facts makes this outstanding.

Please go to his blog and find the link or go to http://www.savecom.org/orderform.htm and get it for yourself. It will change your life.


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The Obed-Edom Interview


TBB: Welcome Obed-Edom, to The Ballestero Blog. I’m so glad you agreed to grant me a short interview today. I’m very honored to have you here. I know that you are a very busy man.

OE: I am pleased to be here. Thank you for the opportunity.

TBB: For the record, you are of the tribe of Levi, and of the family of Korhite. You’re also from Gath-Rimmon if I remember. That makes you a Gittite?

OE: That’s true.

TBB: And let’s see here…you and your wife have 8 sons?

OE: That we do, counting my sons and grandsons, there are 62 men in my family. It’s never quiet at my house.

TBB: Whew. I can imagine. Tell me, what’s a day like in the life of Obed-Edom?

OE: Well, the first thing every morning after daybreak, I get a report from my Gate Security Office concerning the activities of the past night. I report then to the King. At 9 am I go to Prayers every morning, then later in the day I have either choir practice or orchestra practice. I check on the Storehouse during the day also.

TBB: The Gate Security Office. That’s right, you are in charge of keeping the gates of the city of Jerusalem secure. Let’s talk about that first. So then, is Captain Obed-Edom your official title?

OE: (Nodding modestly) Don’t call me captain. My guards do that out of respect. My friends just call me by my name.

TBB: How many men do you command as the Keeper of the Gate?

OE: Right now, about 1,000. My sons and grandsons included. I might add that we also are in charge of the storehouse as well.

TBB: Wow. The King must really trust you to commission you to this post.

OE: We’ve been friends for quite a while now. I’m honored to do everything I can for My God, my King and for Israel.

TBB: How long have you known King David?

OE: A long time. Remember when the King was transporting the Ark to the Tabernacle and there was a problem and Uzzah touched the Ark and he died because the Lord smote him?

TBB: Yes.

OE: I know it was the Lord that my house was close by, but it didn’t hurt that out of all the houses in the area, the King chose mine as the place to put the Ark. Our friendship, no doubt, helped make that choice easier. It may have made a few of my neighbors a little jealous though.

TBB: I’m sure. How long was the Ark in your home?

OE: About 3 months.

TBB: What was it like to have the Ark in your home?

OE: It was THE biggest Blessings of my life. When I say my home was Blessed, I mean Blessed with a capital B. My finances were blessed, my herds multiplied from that time on. Our health mysteriously improved over night. Everything I touched seemed to turn to gold. It’s never stopped.

TBB: How wonderful. You’re the only man in Israel that has had that honor.

OE: I know. I am thrilled that my house was home for the Ark of God, even for a brief time.

TBB: What was it like after the Ark was moved from your house to where it is now?

OE: I don’t know. I couldn’t bear the thoughts of staying in that house without the Ark in it. So I moved too.

TBB: You moved?

OE: Yes I did. After our home was blessed like it had been because of the Ark., my wife and I decided that wherever the Ark was, that’s where we wanted to be. So we moved here and bought a house just to be close by. Here, I can look in the direction of where the Ark sits and know I am close to His presence. There’s nothing like being in the presence of Jehovah. I wish everyone could have experienced that.

TBB: I do too. That’s amazing. You mentioned about choir practice and orchestra earlier. That’s because you are the worship leader?

OE: Actually Asaph is the Chief Musician and there are 68 others that do what I do. I’m just honored to be part of the worship. We all take turns. You might laugh at me, but after my experience with the Ark, I volunteer for every opening that Asaph has. I’m willing to be a singer or a musician. Sometimes I get the job, sometimes I don’t, but they can count on my name being on the list. I do my best to stay involved.

TBB: You have one of Israel’s greatest hero’s in your lineage. Samuel, the Prophet and Judge, is one of your ancestors!

OE: That’s true!

TBB: He’d sure be proud of you if he was alive today.

OE: That’s kind, thank you. I hope he would.

TBB: It’s common knowledge that King David is proud of you too and wrote Psalm 24 in your honor. That’s a very high honor.

OE: Yes it is. It is the highest of honors the King can bestow me. It is worth more to me than great riches. I am greatly honored by that and yet humbled as well.

TBB: Can you remember any of that Psalm offhand?

OE: I sure can:

“The earth is the LORD’s, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

“For he hath founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the floods.

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

“He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

“He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

“This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek thy face, O Jacob. Selah.

“Lift up your head, O ye gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

“Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.

“Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

“Who is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory. Selah.

TBB: That’s a beautiful Psalm. Every family has a skeleton in the closet or some dark family secret. I know you’re probably wishing I wouldn’t bring up yours, because I imagine it’s uncomfortable for you.

OE: No, actually I’m glad you did. It’s really Okay; I want to talk about it. I believe that event was what reshaped the future of our whole family.

TBB: We’re talking about Korah, your ancestor and what happened to him, Is that correct?

OE: Yes.

TBB: In respect of where you are now and the high stations your family now holds, how did you tell your sons about your family’s dark days?

OE: Well Korah, as you know, was a very prominent leader in our tribe when Israel was in the wilderness. He was quite influential as well. I just hate it that he let pride and ambition get in his heart and got crossed up with Moses and Aaron. He was wrong. His thinking led him into rebellion. His actions invited the wrath of Jehovah.

TBB: I remember the Rabbi reading about the ground opening up and swallowing the rebellious men, and fire coming out of heaven. Then there was that plague that came because some sympathizers accused Moses of getting the people of God killed. 14,000 of them died in that plague. When I first heard the story, I thought the sons on Korah perished along with their father.

OE: Those living a home did, but not all. Some of Korah’s sons were married and living in their own homes when judgment fell. They loved their father, but they did not join him in his rebellion. Our family has handed down the story that when they saw they’re lives were spared; they fell on their faces and prayed. From that time on, all the sons of Korah have been extremely careful about our attitude concerning the House of God and the man of God. We have all been very respectful of our leader and submit ourselves to him. We refuse to let God have a problem with us again. We are thankful God doesn’t hold the sins for our father’s against us. I stress the importance of the fear of God and respect for God’s man to my sons lest history should repeat itself.

TBB: An amazing story. Your life lessons to your sons are extremely powerful as well. You mentioned the sons of Korah. Word on the street is that when King David fled from Absalom and went into hiding, the sons of Korah went with him to protect him. Do you know anything about that?

OE: I’ve heard that too.

TBB: There are a number of Psalms that are written just for your family to sing.  That’s a very special honor. Since that includes you, maybe you could share your thoughts on a few of them or at least tell us about them.

OE: Thank you, it would be my pleasure. Well, the first one that comes to mind is the one that starts out… “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.”

That’s from Psalms 42. I love that one. That’s how I feel. I cry sometimes when we sing Psalms 43 and it gets to the part where it says: “Thou lovest righteousness, and hatest wickedness: therefore God, thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.”

When I sing those words, the memory of my family’s dark past comes to mind. Then I see that God has blessed me more than anyone. I just can’t keep quiet about it.

TBB: That’s beautiful.

OE: Psalm 46 starts out with: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

I need to sing that song some days. Then there are other days we feel like dancing while we’re singing. See if you remember this one from Psalm 47. “O clap your hands, all ye people; shout unto God with the voice of triumph.”

I really love that one. The last one I’m going to talk about is one I can’t just quote. Would you mind if I sing a few lines?

TBB: Please do. I would love it.

OE: If you know what’s happened to my family, then maybe you can understand why I love to sing Psalms 84.

TBB: Sing it.

OE“How amiable are thy tabernacles, O LORD of hosts!

“My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the LORD: my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God.

“Yea, the sparrow hath found an house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even thine altars, O LORD of hosts, my King, and my God.

“Blessed are they that dwell in thy house: they will be still praising thee. Selah.”

TBB: Thank you for that. You have a beautiful voice.

OE: Every time I sing that last line, I am reminded how blessed I am to be close to the House of God. I thank Him everyday.

TBB: I’m about out of time.  What word of wisdom or advice can you give me before you go?

OE: I’ve been honored to be here. Thank you for giving me a chance to speak about my passion. As far as imparting any wisdom to you, I can’t do much better than this. This one is from the 88th Psalm, which is another one written just for the sons of Korah to sing.

“Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.

“I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore.

“For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.”

We must walk in truth, fear God, praise Him with all of our hearts, and then God will find a way to deliver us and to bless us. That about sums it up for me.

TBB: That it does. It sums it up for me too. Thank you for coming and God bless you.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

May 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Why I Dress Up For My Wife!

with 23 comments

I’m getting ready to go to the airport in a few minutes. I am wearing dress slacks, a sport coat, a dress shirt and a tie. The occasion? I’m going to see my wife in Indianapolis tonight. I ALWAYS dress up when I come home to my wife! Why? I would hope that the fact that I took extra time to dress up, tells her I think she is someone worth dressing up for. I want her to think, to know, and to feel that I consider her the most important person in this world. I will always dress up for her. I try to show her, that I think she’s very special! I might add that my efforts do not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

So what’s my point?

My point is that we are living in a very casual society. My travels have taken me to churches wear adults and young people wear clothes that not even a golf course would permit. Flip flops, tee shirts, curlers in the hair, and clothes that no one bothered to iron or maybe even wash, are seen in too many churches. What’s the deal? Why are Pentecostal churches looking like “Nothing special is going on here.”

There Is A Curse In Being Casual About The Things Of God:

1. CASUAL IN ATTITUDE

UZZAH:

  • Touch Ark to steady it and God killed him.  He was too familiar and too comfortable.
  • Casual Attitude brings Familiarity

ESAU:

  • Heb 12:16 Profane = to treat as commonplace.
  • Later he sought for God carefully with tears but never found help.
  • Casual brings Unconcern
  • Next is Contempt (He traded birthright for something to eat)
  • (Heb 12:17 KJV)  For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.
  • He got careful too late.

ATTITUDE

  • Gum chewers – almost never respond, and never receive.
  • Demonstrates an attitude of a spectator at an event.
  • A watcher.

DRESS

  • Carelessness about attire tells God you don’t think coming to His House is important
  • Some are very careless about modesty
  • Many are careless about adorning themselves with jewelry like Israel did when it backslid.

Wear your best to church

  • Dress up for God
  • He hates casual!!

God said to Moses, “Take off your shoes,” you are on Holy ground. God wanted Moses to be respectful in His presence.

2. CASUAL IN OBEDIENCE

  • Casual in Giving:  Tithe/Offerings
  • Sacrifice: God got tired of Israel bring him 2nd rate lambs.  He wanted the best. No Blemish.
  • Don’t be Casual in what you give God or Do for God

CAIN:

  • Offered what he felt was OK to God.  It was good enough for him; it should be good enough for God.

SAUL:

  • Casual in obedience
  • Destroyed as he saw fit.  Used his own judgment. Didn’t obey the prophet and let Agag live.

3.  CASUAL IN WORSHIP

  • Pharisees – whited sepulchers, worship with lips, but heart is far from me
  • Half Hearted worship too common in Pentecost

4.  CASUAL IN FAITHFULNESS

  • Why did he have to say, forsake not the assembling of yourselves together if they weren’t casual about their attendance?
  • (Heb 10:25 KJV)  Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

5.  CASUAL IN COMMITTMENT

AMAZIAH:

  • Did that which was right in the sight of the Lord, yet not with a perfect heart as did his father David

AHAB

  • (1 Ki 16:31 KJV)  And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took to wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Zidonians, and went and served Baal, and worshipped him.
  • (1 Ki 16:33 KJV)  And Ahab made a grove; and Ahab did more to provoke the LORD God of Israel to anger than all the kings of Israel that were before him.
  • Your Casualness will cause you to provoke God.
  • Fools make a mock at sin.
  • Are you Casual with God?  You’ll be casual with sin

YOUR CASUAL LIFESTYLE ANGERS GOD

  • Churches without conviction  (are they casual?)
  • A Casual ministry brought Strange Fire
  • Some silly preachers wearing shorts and tank tops in public.
  • Even preaching in them.
  • God is NOT pleased.

REPENTANCE IS THE KEY

  • (2 Cor 7:11 KJV)  For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.
  • Yea what carefulness it wrought in you.
  • Only Repentance removes the casual attitude

Written by Martyn Ballestero

April 19, 2010 at 11:53 am

Policemen

with 5 comments

Policemen


Some Policemen sit at a desk all day.

Some Policemen drive cars..

Some Policemen ride motorcycles.

Some Policemen are traffic cops.

Some Policemen work in crime labs.

Some Policemen are Detectives.

Some Policemen are Patrolmen.

Some Policemen work Homicide.

Some Policemen direct traffic.

Some Policemen escort funerals.

Some Policemen work security at the Airport.

Some Policemen patrol our National Borders.

Some Policemen monitor gang activity.

Some Policemen catch spies.

Some Policemen monitor terrorists.

Some Policemen wear blue.

Some Policemen wear tan.

Some Policemen wear plain clothes.

Some Policemen are military.

Some Policemen are with the IRS.

Some Policemen are with the ATF.

Some Policemen are with the DEA.

Some Policemen are with the Border Patrol.

Some Policemen are with Highway Patrol.

Some Policemen are with the Fish and Game Department.

Some Policemen are with the Forestry Division.

Some Policemen are with the Secret Service.

Some Policemen are with a S.W.A.T. team.

Some Policemen patrol school crossings.

Some Policemen are forensics specialists.

Some Policemen inspect parking meters.

Some Policemen are Sheriffs.

Some Policemen are Mounties.

Some Policemen are Rangers.

Some Policemen are Marshalls.

Some Policemen are Troopers.

Some Policemen are Deputies.

Some Policemen are Agents.

Some Policemen are Chiefs.

Some Policemen are Investigators.

Some Policemen are Inspectors.

Some Policemen hold press conferences.

Some Policemen work in the basement.

Some Policemen have local authority.

Some Policemen have regional authority.

Some Policemen have national authority.

Some Policemen have unlimited authority.

The thing they have in common is they all took The Oath to preserve and protect. They are all Policemen with different duties and work in different departments.

We do not show disrespect to, or dishonor a Policeman, because he performs different duties than some other Policemen we know. If we have an emergency, we are always relieved when we see the badge, regardless of his department or rank.

Now, Lets Talk About Your Pastor, Your Man Of God.

  • What badge does he have to wear to be a Pastor?
  • What badge does he have to wear to make you happy with him?
  • It is unwise and unfair to want him to wear every hat, badge, or uniform in the ministry.
  • Let him do what God called him to do.
  • Let him be what God called him to be.
  • We have been given a 5-fold ministry.
  • He’s a part of that.
  • All preachers are different.
  • Their deliveries are different.
  • Some are teachers.
  • Some are apostles.
  • Some are pastors.
  • Some are prophets
  • Some are evangelists.
  • Some preach long sermons.
  • Some preach short sermons.
  • Some preach doctrine.
  • Some preach faith.
  • Some preach evangelistic.
  • Some preach practical living.
  • He doesn’t even have to preach fast to be anointed.
  • He doesn’t have to have a “National” ministry to be called of God.
  • He may not be known outside his local area, but he’s still God’s man.
  • Give you Pastor the respect and honor God requires.
  • After all, he’s a Policeman of sorts in that he watches for your soul.
  • In that day, he will even have to talk to God about you.

Heb. 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

May your Pastor always be your favorite preacher, no matter how much you enjoy hearing others!

Written by Martyn Ballestero

March 23, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Trike Riding!!

with 12 comments

Trike Riding!!


Back in the older days of the AMF, especially in our imaginary “Section 19“, there was phrase coined some of us have never forgotten. He’s Riding His Tricycle. This was said about those that:

  • Would go “off” on a tangent at a fellowship meeting when they got up.
  • Talked a long time. Some times it was much ado about nothing.
  • Added box cars to the end of a sermon.
  • Got intoxicated with the sound of their own voice.
  • Always had to put their 2 cents worth in.
  • Tried to “get something going by bringing up a controversial issue. Just to start a fight.

We would say stuff like:

1. He’s Polishing his Trike.

2. That Trike has long antennas with coon-tails on them.

3. His Trike is so old, it even has an “I LIKE IKE” bumper sticker on it.

With that in mind, I see on various sites, what my generation called Trike Riding. I also see that the “Trike Salesman” don’t just sell to Older guys anymore. He is selling a lot of them to the younger men as well. He sells digital ones now to those with computers too.

Every opportunity some get to be in a Trike Parade, they join right in. Flashing their paint job. Squeezing on their blue bulbed horns. Putting Old Maid cards in the spokes to make extra noise.

Men that don’t pastor, never have, maybe never will, feel comfortable Riding Their Trikes in front of proven ministries and pastors of great churches. Treating them just like they were all in the same club. They’re Not. Attempting to display their skill while unbeknown to them, they are displaying a negative image of themselves.

Maybe they even went to “Trike U” and learned how to ride. It’s still not enough. Honor and respect is earned. It is not bought with many words. Especially many words that gender strife.

The feeling may be to some, that everyone’s opinion on the internet is equal. It’s not. I have seen men on Forums, Facebook and Blogs who are respected around Pentecost, deluged with comments and arguments, often disrespected or nearly scoffed.

That is the kind of stuff young men in our churches would have been set down for. (or maybe run off)

It makes old timers want to ask. Who was their pastor? Because if they had come up under a good one, they would know enough to behave differently. You may think this format to be a place where the playing field is level. It’s Not!

Maybe some are trying to win a trophy riding their Trike. If so, I hope they win it soon because my tired is starting to hurt. I’ve watch professionals ride Trikes. I know GOOD Trike riding when I see it!

You would have been impressed too. In those days, All of us younger men, found our place, kept it, and learned with our mouth shut and our ears opened. And just said. AMEN. With no back talk.

Well, I guess it’s time to go put my Trike up. Thanks for watching me ride. 🙂

Written by Martyn Ballestero

March 22, 2010 at 12:42 am

Posted in Ministry, Respect

The Ministry Of Covering

with 6 comments

The Ministry Of Covering

(Why Do Pentecostals Gossip?)

1Pe 4:7 But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer.

8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

9 Use hospitality one to another without grudging.

10 As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

  • I am NOT talking about COVERING FOR someone.
  • I am AM talking about PROTECTING one another FROM gossip and slander.
  • What is our obligation?
  • It seems that if our own soul is not important to us and we do NOT love out brother, then there are no off limits.
  • We are living in the days of Gossip Sheets and Rumor Rags on display in every Supermarket checkout line.  Inquiring minds want to know!
  • My Dad had a sign in his office:  “You can’t white wash yourself by blackening others”

What is there about this society and this age that just delights in knowing the worst about everyone and then telling it everywhere? Evidently, it’s OK to say whatever you wish about someone as long as you say “POOR THING” at the end of the sentence.

I. The Bible starts out with the worst-case scenario.  Some attempt to find deeper meanings in this scripture.  I only want to take it a face value for what it says, for today’s thought.

Gen. 9:20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:

21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.

23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.

  • How horrible!!  Your brother tells you, that your father got drunk, and worse yet, anyone who comes into his tent will see him uncovered.
  • That never seemed to bother HAM.  But he wound up being the father of the Canaanites, a people of sinful and corrupting influences.

Ham saw there was a problem, did nothing to help and then told others.  When Shem and Japheth heard the news, they:

  1. Didn’t condone the drunkenness of their father.
  2. They disapproved of his condition
  3. They disapproved even more of their brothers response.
  4. He would never wash that from his memory
  5. (The longer you live, the more fault you can find and the more humanity you will see in your hero’s life.  You can’t let it throw you, nor give you license to do wrong either.)
  6. They went into a defense mode.
  7. They found a covering.
  8. Put it on their shoulders.Backed in.
  9. Turned their faces away, so as not see.“I’m not going to look like HAM did.
  10. We’re closer to him than you are, but willingly blind ourself.
  11. Not that we approve, but we don’t want folks like you finding out all you can about a situation and then go tell it everywhere.
  12. We’re going to cover him.
  13. When he gets back up, we want him to have his self-respect.
  14. Love covers all

1Pe 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

Pr 10:12 Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Pr 12:16 A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.

The job of the Rodeo clown.

  • To protect the fallen rider from the bull.
  • The clown is no doubt one of the best athletes in the arena.
  • He puts himself in the line of danger to protect a fallen comrade.
  • Some of you clowns aren’t doing your job.

There is something wrong with those that have a keen interest in others sins.

  • They more than likely will wind up having problems of their own.
  • Knowing and telling, two different things

Shem and Japeth knew.

  • They didn’t  approve,
  • They didn’t gloat,
  • They didn’t laugh,
  • They were appalled,
  • They were mortified.
  • They didn’t want their father to be a laughing stalk.

What is your intention when you spread the juicy details?

Prov. 6:16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
Prov. 6:17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
Prov. 6:18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
Prov. 6:19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

What’s Their Motive?

  • This is a gossip generation
  • News in Pentecost travels fast
  • Cell phones
  • Email

Paul, I am determined to know nothing among you, save Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

The Curse Of Caanan.

  • There is a curse from the Lord upon those that gloat over another’s problems.
  • Considering thine own self.
  • God’s ministry is one of covering so the world and enemy of our souls can’t see.
  • Why do you want to expose some one.

Just because you know about someone’s mistake, doesn’t mean you have to tell everyone!

My advice? Never play Private Detective or Prosecuting Attorney in the Kingdom of God.

Let’s be more like Him!

Written by Martyn Ballestero

March 16, 2010 at 3:59 pm

When a Husband Offends His Wife

with 3 comments

When a Husband Offends His Wife

by

Dr. Gary Smalley

When a husband recognizes that he has offended his wife in any of these ways, he needs to clear it up in order to restore the relationship. Why not ask your wife to check these that are true of you.

1. Ignoring her.

2. Not valuing her opinions

3. Showing more attention to other people than her.

4. Not listening to her or not understanding what she feels is important.

5. Closing her out by not talking or listening to her (the silent treatment).

6. Being easily distracted when she is trying to talk.

7. Not scheduling special time to be with her.

8. Not being open to talk about things you do not understand.

9. Not being open to talk about things she does not understand.

10. Not giving her a chance to voice her opinion on decisions that affect the whole family.

11. Disciplining her by being silent or angry.

12. Making jokes about her life.

13. Making sarcastic statements about her.

14. Insulting her in front of others.

15. Coming back with quick retorts.

16. Giving harsh admonitions.

17. Using careless words before you think through how they will affect her.

18. Nagging her in harshness.

19. Rebuking her before giving her a chance to explain a situation.

20. Raising your voice at her.

21. Making critical comments with no logical basis

22. Swearing or using foul language in her presence.

23. Correcting her in public.

24. Being tactless when pointing out her weaknesses or blind spots.

25. Reminding her angrily that you warned her not to do something.

26. Having a disgusted or judgmental attitude.

27. Pressuring her when she is already feeling low or offended.

28. Lecturing her when she needs to be comforted, encouraged or treated gently.

29. Breaking promises without any explanation or without being asked to be released from the promise.

30.Telling her how wonderful other women are and comparing her to other women.

31. Holding resentment about something she did and tried to make right.

32. Being disrespectful to her family and relatives

33. Coercing her into an argument.

34. Correcting or punishing her in anger for something for which she is not guilty.

35. Not praising her for something she did well even if she did it for you.

36. Treating her like a little child.

37. Being rude to her or to other people in public, like restaurant personnel or clerks.

38. Being unaware of her needs

39. Being ungrateful.

40. Not trusting her.

41. Not approving of what she does or how she does it.

42. Not being interested in her own personal growth.

43. Being inconsistent or having double standards (doing things you won’t allow her to do.)

44. Not giving her advice when she really needs it and asks for it.

45. Not telling her you love her.

46. Having prideful and arrogant attitudes in general.

47. Not giving daily encouragement.

48. Failing to include her in a conversation when you are with other people.

49. Failing to spend quality time with her when you’re at a party.

50. “Talking her down” – continuing to discuss or argue a point just to prove you’re right.

51. Ignoring her around the house as if she weren’t a member of the family.

52. Not taking time to listen to what she believes is important as soon as you come home from work.

53. Ignoring her at social gatherings.

54. Not attending church as a family.

55. Failure to express honestly what you think her innermost feelings are.

56. Showing more excitement for work or other activities than her.

57. Being impolite at mealtime.

58. Having sloppy manners around the house and in front of others.

59. Not inviting her out on romantic dates from time  to time (just the two of you).

60. Not helping her with the children just before mealtime or during times of extra stress.

61. Not volunteering to help her with the dishes occasionally, or with cleaning the house.

62. Making her feel stupid when she shares an idea about your work or decisions that need to be made.

63. Making her feel unworthy for desiring certain furniture or insurance or other material needs for herself and the family.

64. Not being consistent with the children; not taking an interest in playing with them or spending quality and quantity time with them.

65. Not showing public affection for her, like holding her hand or putting your arm around her. (You seem to be embarrassed to be with her.)

66. Not sharing your life with her, like your ideas or your feelings (e.g. what’s going on at work).

67. Not being the spiritual leader of your home.

68. Demanding that she submit to you.

69. Demanding that she be involved with you sexually when you are not in harmony.

70. Being unwilling to admit you’re wrong.

71. Resisting whenever she shares on of your blind spots.

72. Being too busy with work and activities.

73. Not showing compassion and understanding for her and the children when there is a real need.

74. Not planning for the future, making her vary insecure.

75. Being stingy with money, making her feel like she is being paid a salary – and not much at all.

76. Wanting to do things to embarrass her sexually.

77. Reading sexual magazines in front of her or the children.

78. Forcing her to make many of the decisions regarding the checkbook and bills.

79. Forcing her to handle bill collectors and overdue bills.

80. Not letting her lean on your gentleness and strength from time to time.

81. Not allowing her to fail – always feeling like you have to lecture her.

82. Refusing to let her be a woman.

83. Criticizing her womanly characteristics or sensitivity as being weak.

84. Spending too much money and getting the family too far into debt.

85. Not having a sense of humor and not joking about things together.

86. Not telling her how important she is to you.

87. Not sending her love letters from time to time.

88. Forgetting special dates like anniversaries or birthdays.

89. Not defending her when someone else is complaining or tearing her down.

90. Not putting your arm around her and hugging her when she’s in need of comfort.

91. Not bragging to other people about her.

92. Being dishonest

93. Discouraging her for trying to better herself either through education or physical fitness.

94. Continuing distasteful habits.

95. Not treating her as if “Handle With Care” was stamped on her forehead.

96. Ignoring her relatives and the people that are important to her.

97. Taking her for granted, assuming that ‘a woman’s work is never done” around the house.

98. Not including her in the future plans until the very last minute.

99. Never doing little unexpected things for her.

100. Not treating her like an intellectual equal.

101. Looking at her as a weaker individual in general.

102. Being preoccupied with your own goals and needs making her feel like she and the children do not count.

103. Threatening never to let her do something again because she made a mistake in the past.

104. Criticizing her behind her back. (This is really painful for her to hear about your criticisms from someone else.

105. Blaming her for the things in your relationship that are clearly your failure.

106. Not being aware of her physical limitations, treating her like a man by roughhousing with her or making her carry heaving objects.

107. Losing patience or getting angry with her when she can’t keep up with your schedule or physical stamina.

108. Acting like you’re a martyr if you go along with her opinions.

109. Sulking when she challenges your comments.

110. Joining too many organizations which exclude her and the children.

111. Failing to repair items around the house.

112. Watching too much TV or playing video games and therefore neglecting her and the children.

113. Demanding that she sit and listen to your point of view when she needs to be taking care of the children’s needs.

114. Insisting on lecturing her in order to convey what you believe are important things.

115. Humiliating her with words and actions, saying things like, “I can’t stand living in a pig pen.”

116. Not taking time to prepare her for enjoy sexual intimacy.

117. Spending money extravagantly without helping those less fortunate.

118. Avoiding family activities that the children enjoy.

119. Taking vacations that are primarily for your pleasure, like fishing or hunting while preventing her from shopping or doing things she enjoys.

120. Not letting her get away from the children just to be with friends, go shopping for special items, or have a trip away with her friends.

121. Being unwilling to join her in things she enjoys like shopping, going out for coffee and desert at a restaurant.

122. Not understanding the boring chores a housewife does: like picking up clothes and toys all day long, wiping runny noses, putting on and taking off muddy work boots and jackets, washing and ironing, etc. etc.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

March 11, 2010 at 12:01 am

I prefer writing “Bible” to bible, “God” to god, and “Jesus” to jesus!

with 5 comments

I prefer writing  “Bible” to bible, “God” to god, and “Jesus” to jesus!

In today’s world of fast communication with blogs, forums and social networks, it’s easy to become a little careless when quickly writing about God and church.

The good Lord knows that none of us are perfect nor do we have the right to go around admonishing others.

Forgive me then for treading where normal people would may not. (My friends have never called me normal.)

It does seem from this old man’s point of view, that my generation has gone from carefulness to carelessness in a number of areas.

Remember the stories we all heard about the Scribes copying Scriptures? Remember Bible teachers saying the scribes were fearful to even spell out the name of Jehovah?  I am told they wrote the abbreviation Jah instead.

When they came to that word, they would stop, get a new “pen” (Some say they even changed their garments as well) and then write the name, Jah (Jehovah)

Even comments on Wikipedia show the additional carefulness of men in the Old Testament:

“Laws of writing divine names:

  • “According to Jewish tradition, the sacredness of the divine names must be recognized by the professional scribe who writes the Scriptures, or the chapters for the tefillin and the mezuzah. Before transcribing any of the divine names he prepares mentally to sanctify them. Once he begins a name he does not stop until it is finished, and he must not be interrupted while writing it, even to greet a king. If an error is made in writing it, it may not be erased, but a line must be drawn round it to show that it is canceled, and the whole page must be put in a genizah (burial place for scripture) and a new page begun.
  • “According to Jewish tradition, the number of divine names that require the scribe’s special care is seven: El, Elohim, Adonai, YHWH, Ehyeh-Asher-Ehyeh, Shaddai, and Tzevaot.”

We all understand that was in Israel, and that was a long time ago. I’m sure I’m “old school,” but  I prefer writing  “Bible” to bible, “God” to god, and “Jesus” to jesus!

In your opinion, I may have OCD, or I may be sticking my long nose where it don’t belong. I may be a picky old English major who likes proper nouns with caps. Or, I may be making an appeal for carefulness. You decide.

I was raised to take my hat off when I came into the Church Sanctuary because it was God’s House. I am grateful for a Dad and Pastor who taught me respect by example.

I was reminded to be careful concerning the things of God and His church. I had my early articles edited by my Pastor/Father. He changed all my god’s into God’s, and my jesus into Jesus. I also had my he changed to He and my him changed to Him.

Write like you want, because I’m not the Capitalization Sheriff.

But this is how I choose to write concerning things worthy of the highest honor.

Thank you for reading.

God Bless You.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

March 9, 2010 at 9:06 am