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Posts Tagged ‘Anger

How To Recognize If You Have an Anger Problem

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Almost all of my readers are God-fearing. Yet no matter how holy we may seem at church, the most damaging and disturbing problem in Christian homes today is Anger.

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The following guest post today is found at:

Think Right Now

How To Recognize If You Have an Anger Problem

Here are some of the most common signs of problem anger.

Road Rage: Yelling, swerving, using a vehicle as a weapon
Bullying: Treating other people like they are worthless
Throwing/ Breaking things: Taking out your frustration (or revenge?) on yours or other people’s property
Sarcasm and Teasing: Showing people (in a humorous way?) how stupid or ridiculous you think they are
Pouting: Feeling sorry for yourself, not cooperating just to get your way, creating guilt trips
Slamming doors/ Stomping feet
Criticizing others: To hell with being politically correct, power trip
Saying, “You’re right” but not meaning it: Seething, gets you out of a situation you are uncomfortable with/shuts them up fast
Condescension: You feel superior to everyone else and tell them about it in a nasty or sarcastic way
Interrupting: Your opinion counts the most; a form of bullying
Lying: Sneaky revenge, making up/spreading rumors, making promises you never intend to keep
Emotional abuse: Continually putting the same person down/ controlling/ threatening them repeatedly
Domestic abuse: Continual physical and/or mental cruelty toward those you live with
Yelling: Creating fear and/or submission through threatening volume
Body tension: Squeezing fists, clenching jaws, flexing muscles, turning red, stress
Withholding affection: You’ll show them who’s in control, lack of forgiveness, revenge
Starting arguments/fights just “for fun”: Getting a “high” or a “rush” at the expense of others
Moral superiority: Believing you “have a right” to be outraged and are justified in your destructive actions
Showing off: Being the “tough guy” to impress others
Grumpiness/moodiness: No awareness or concern about how you are coming across to others
Plotting revenge: Planning elaborate schemes to get back at your enemies
No forgiveness or forgetting: Hanging onto the hurts of the past
Masochism/Sadism: Addiction to hurting others and/or being hurt
Martyrdom: Enjoying making others feel guilty by playing the victim, way to get attention/sympathy
Low self-esteem: Hate yourself because you are stupid, worthless, ugly, lazy… a doormat
Stubbornness: Refusing to acknowledge being wrong or let others have their way
Glaring: You can’t hide your disdain for others, keeps people at a distance
Swearing/name-calling: Signal that the gloves have come off
Threatening others with harm: Physical, mental, financial, property, loss of freedoms/choices
Sighing/rolling eyes: Outer show of disrespect, contempt and/or frustration, listening is over
And many more

Here is what will happen-maybe it already has

If you exhibit a fair number of those common signs of problem anger, consider the consequences if you don’t change.

Anger can:

End your marriage/romance
Destroy your friendships/working relationships
Stunt your career and thus your financial growth
Land you in jail
Cause you heavy fines and legal fees
Give you higher insurance rates and costs to repair property
Isolate you from your family
Isolate your family from others
Push you into long-term depression
Cause anxiety and panic attacks
Destroy your self esteem
Cause high blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes, etc.
Increase your medical bills (Dr. visits, medicine, surgery)
Cause drug and alcohol abuse
And maybe worst of all, it will keep you from being happy and fulfilled every day… like you deserve to be.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

February 15, 2011 at 11:39 am

Posted in Anger, Uncategorized

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Did You Grow Up With An Angry Person?

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Did You Grow Up With An Angry Person?

If someone close to you, such as a family member or friend has or has had an anger problem, the following questions may help you determine if help is needed.

1. Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?

2. Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?

3. Do you fear criticism?

4. Do you overextend yourself?

5. Have you had problems with uncontrolled outbursts?

6. Do you have a need for perfection?

7. Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?

8. Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?

9. Do you feel responsible for others, as you did for the angry person in your life?

10. Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?

11. Do you isolate yourself from other people?

12. Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?

13. Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?

14. Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?

15. Do you confuse pity with love as you did with the problem person?

16. Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be angry and/or abusive?

17. Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?

18. Do you often mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?

19. Do you find it difficult to identify and express your own emotions?

20. Do you think someone’s anger problem may have affected you?

Anger is a dysfunction in many families. Those who have lived through this as children may have problems that need to be resolved. If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, there is help for you.

Victims of anger have had to deal with extreme circumstances beyond their control for most of their life. Their environment became their private prison through no fault of their own.


Biblical Insight

Prov. 27:4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous;

Eccl. 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

February 12, 2011 at 1:52 am

Posted in Anger

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Are You Troubled By Someone’s Anger?

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Are You Troubled By Someone’s Anger?

Too many Christians are affected by the excessive anger of someone who is close to them. Sadly, this problem has often found it’s way into the best of families.

The following questions are designed to help you decide whether or not help is needed.

1. Do you worry about how often someone gets angry?

2. Do you have to spend money to replace broken things because of someone else’s anger?

3. Do you tell ‘lies’ to minimize or cover up for the actions of someone else’s anger?

4. Do you feel that if the angry person loved you, he or she would stop being angry to please you?

5. Do you blame the angry person’s behavior on his or her childhood?

6. Are plans frequently upset or meals ruined because of their anger?

7. Do you make threats, such as, “I can’t stand your anger any more, I’m going to leave you”?

8. Do you feel the need to check their attitude before speaking?

9. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set him or her off?

10. Have you been ashamed or embarrassed by an angry person’s behavior?

11. Are holidays and family gatherings spoiled because of someone’s anger?

12. Have you considered calling the police for help or in fear, because of anger?

13. Are any of your personal possessions missing or destroyed because of anger?

14. Are children in your house also victims of this anger?

15. Have you not invited guests to your home or refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?

16. Do you feel like a failure when you think of the unsuccessful lengths you have gone to in order to lessen or control their anger?

17. Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to ‘scare’ the angry person?

18. Do you feel upset, confused or depressed most of the time?

19. Have you feared for your personal safety.

20. Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems, or no one you can talk to?

If you have answered yes to three or more of these questions, immediate help is needed.


Biblical Point

NKJV Pro 19:19 A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; For if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.

It doesn’t matter how many times you bail out a person out an angry person, you are going to have to bail them out again and again. As long as they cannot control their anger they are going to get into trouble. All the loved ones will suffer. Help is needed.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

February 11, 2011 at 12:21 am

Posted in Anger

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