The Ballestero Blog

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Posts Tagged ‘Marriage

Get A Car, Sell A Car

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Get A Car, Sell A Car

Get a car, sell a car

Get a house, sell a house

Get a boat, sell a boat

Get a trailer, sell a trailer

Get a dog, sell a dog

Get a gun, sell a gun

Get a couch, sell a couch

Get a motorcycle, sell a motorcycle

Get honor, lose honor

Get respect, lose respect

Get confidence, lose confidence

Get hope, lose hope

Get a horse, sell a horse

Get a cow, sell a cow

Get a collectible, sell a collectible

Get a computer, sell a computer

Get a suit, sell a suit

Get an iPhone, sell an iPhone

Get a farm, sell a farm

Get an ATV, sell an ATV

Get passion, lose passion

Get peace, lose peace

Get contentment, lose contentment

Get purpose, lose purpose

Get an iPad, sell an iPad

Get a diamond, sell a diamond

Get a camera, sell a camera

Get a golf club, sell a golf club

Get an airline ticket, sell an airline ticket

Get a Rolex, sell a Rolex

Get a baby bed, sell a baby bed

Get an idea, sell an idea

Get a job, lose a job

Get an inheritance, lose an inheritance

Get a dream, lose a dream

Get an opportunity, lose an opportunity

Get A Wife, KEEP A Wife

8-14-65 (14)kiss2

Written by Martyn Ballestero

March 23, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Posted in Marriage

Tagged with

When One Part Of Your Brain Hijacks The Other!

with 8 comments

When One Part Of Your Brain Hijacks The Other!

Quite a few years ago, I was told about a new book and curiosity made me want to read it. The problem was, I was a little short of cash and not sure I wanted to spend what I had on a book instead of eat lunch.

I stopped by our local Barnes & Nobles Bookstore and asked the lady if they had the book, Emotional brain001_thumbIntelligence in stock. They did, so I looked at it a few minutes and then found a nice easy chair and began to scan the pages for a bit longer. I read about fourteen pages and then I laid the book down and began to ponder on what I had just learned. I’ve never forgotten.

The premise put forward was that we all have two brains. (I was glad to find that out. I have been told I didn’t even have one.)

The author said that we each have a brain that thinks and a brain that feels. Our life may be at peace and functioning well, but turmoil, pain and great consequences come to us when one of our brains hijacks the other.

He Explained It By Describing Murders And Murderers.


The Brain That Thinks

The brain that thinks can get out of balance and push all emotions and normal feelings aside. It will then ignore every soft and tender thought the person ever had.

  • He feels his mind is superior and he won’t get caught.
  • He refuses to think about regrets and the pain he will cause.
  • He devises ways to lure, entrap, and murder his victims.

Society uses the term Cold Blooded, Premeditated Murder, with Malice Aforethought.

Serial Killers must plan, calculate and orchestrate their dastardly deeds while ignoring every emotion that would stop them. Their brain that thinks hijacks the brain that feels. Society is very happy to lock that person behind bars for the rest of their life. They experience no remorse.

The Brain That Feels

The brain that feels can become so overwrought with painful emotion that it takes matters into it’s own hands and goes into what it believes is an appropriate action.

A loving wife may find her husband in the arms of another and her brain that feels immediately hijacks the brain that thinks.

  • She is not worried about consequences.
  • She hasn’t got time, in her mind, to worry about the law.
  • She can only think about the hurt she feels.

We call it a crime of passion. It was a spur of the moment action. Nothing was preplanned. Sometimes juries have been a bit understanding and even lenient in such cases.


When A Husband Is Unfaithful To His Wife.

The part of his brain that thinks, has to ignore and hijack the brain that feels. Unfaithfulness is not a spur of the moment action.

The brain that thinks hijacks the brain that feels and he convinces himself that he is no longer in love with his spouse. He says, he doesn’t love her anymore and hasn’t for some time. He tells her that to prepare her for what’s to come. He finds illogical fault with her to justify himself.

She is devastated and angry, and rightly so. The children quickly notice changes in daddy’s behavior and they become defensive of their mother and afraid of this man they loved.

Think about the all the emotional, logical, and spiritual Stop Signs and Road Blocks an unfaithful husband must pass before he arrives at where he thinks he wants to go.

  • Permitting thoughts about another woman to have access into mind.
  • Letting those thoughts become lustful and pleasurable.
  • Creating a moment where the two of them can actually meet and talk.
  • Making plans to meet again.
  • Making plans to leave and divorce his wife.
  • Ignoring the fact that he has no Bible right to leave his wife for another.
  • The sending of Text Messages.
  • The Emails back and forth.
  • The secret Cell Phone calls.
  • Then Deleting those Messages and Emails.
  • The actual clandestine meeting.
  • Touching her for the first time.
  • The first kiss.
  • The Motel.

Look how many stop sign he has to ignore. Look how many roadblocks he must step over. It’s pre-meditated. It’s planned. The brain that thinks has hijacked the brain that once felt love for his wife and family.

Nothing about unfaithfulness is accidental. It’s planned. It thought out. The brain that feels for God, family, and future has just been hijacked.

It makes no difference if the unfaithfulness is emotional or actual… it’s sin and it’s wrong.

Matthew 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

When his brain that thinks hijacked his brain that feels… He had to ignore every hurt and pain in his wife’s eyes, words and heart. He had to ignore the consequences for his actions. He had to ignore the damage he was doing to his home and his children.

  • He had to push aside the loss of his standing with God.
  • He had to ignore the loss of his participation in God’s Kingdom.
  • He had to be willing to place his eternal salvation in jeopardy.

He had to arrive at a place that made him not think about how much he was throwing away.

He now had a new infatuation and he could not think about anything else but her; not even her husband or her children.

He must be proud of the fact that he is a thinker and has a high IQ. In his own mind, he is smarter than the others who are crying. He refuses to let any emotional connection with his own wife and children stop him from achieving his goals. They have only become baggage and now he wants to be free from them.


Although He Knows These Passages In Proverbs, He Totally Ignores Them.

Proverbs 6:23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:
Proverbs 6:24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Proverbs 6:26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Proverbs 6:27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
Proverbs 6:28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
Proverbs 6:29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.
Proverbs 6:30 Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry;
Proverbs 6:31 But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house.
Proverbs 6:32 But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
Proverbs 6:33 A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
Proverbs 6:34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
Proverbs 6:35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.

Proverbs 7:27 Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

When a husband becomes unfaithful. He is not the only one now with a problem. His selfish thinking and actions have immobilized all those around him that love him. His marriage is paralyzed and may never be restored. His children will never respect him for the way he selfishly walked out on them and their mother.

Later in moments of reflection, he is prone to think he is the only one who needs counseling and help. That thinking is either being naïve, stupid or stubborn. AA and Al-Anon both include the addict and their family in the process. What one person did, now has become a problem for all those who once loved him.

Where Does One Turn To For Guidance And Help With Improper Thinking?

There Is Not Much Hope For Restoration To A Once Godly Marriage Or To Having A Sound Mind Again, If God And His Word Are Left Out Of The Equation. Restoration Is Of The Lord.

Psalms 16:7 I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.

AMP: Psalm 16:7 I will bless the Lord, Who has given me counsel; yes, my heart instructs me in the night seasons.

If one of your brains has hijacked the other, God will bring release and restoration to your mind if you will turn to Him. He will deliver you. Refusing God’s intervention will only set you up for more devil’s play.

Sir: If There Is To Be ANY Hope Of Restoration In Your Marriage And In Your Walk With God, It’s Up To You To:

  • Choose to repent to God, your wife, and pastor.
  • Choose to let God’s Word and God’s man guide you into complete restoration.
  • Choose to love your wife with all your heart.
  • Choose to reassure her.
  • Choose to be careful about your thoughts, feeling and interaction with the opposite sex.
  • Choose to clear yourself from further suspicion.
  • Choose to connect with your wife, family and God like you never have before.
  • Choose to live for God and not throw your soul away.

May The Lord God guide your thoughts, your actions, and your motives every day and keep you from all evil and iniquity. May your heart tenderly guide you in all the night seasons.

Now Go Do The Right Thing!

Written by Martyn Ballestero

March 19, 2014 at 9:53 am

The Day I Obtained The Favor Of God

with 6 comments

The Day I Obtained The Favor Of God

Proverbs-18-22-ESV-webI have precious family members and the dearest of friends whose lives have been greatly pained by a marriage that went bad. I hurt for them and have cried for them and with them. None of us knows when we select a mate, what the future holds. Anyone can choose to go wrong.

Those of us who have loving and faithful spouses sometimes fail to appreciate how good we really have it!

So, I do not write today in an arrogant or boastful manner, nor do I mean to be hurtful to anyone, let alone disrespectful.

I simply write as one who is abundantly thankful to have found a girl who loves God with all of her heart, and who loves me more than words can tell!

So, Let Me Tell You How I Feel About My Marriage!

I feel the day I obtained the ‘favor’ of God was on a Saturday. The weather was perfect, and it was 2 o’clock in the afternoon August 14, 1965. This truly was, and has remained, the most wonderful day in my life! (Besides receiving the Holy Ghost.)


That Was The Day God Gave Me The Best Helpmate In The World!

She Just Happened To Be The Most Beautiful Girl In The World Too!


KJV Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.


Vine’s Words: ‘Favour’

Ratson, raw-tsone’; from (ratsah); delight (especially as shown) :- (be) acceptable (-ance, -ed), delight, desire, favour, (good) pleasure.

Strong’s Greek & Hebrew Dictionary.

MSG Proverbs 18:22 Find a good spouse, you find a good life— and even more: the favor of GOD!

NLT Proverbs 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.

TLB Proverbs 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds a good thing; she is a blessing to him from the Lord.


Not only Did I Obtain The Favor Of God (KJV) On August 14, 1965…

  • I also found a treasure! (The MSG)
  • I also found a good spouse! (NLT)
  • I also found a good life! (NLT)
  • I also received a blessing from the Lord! (TLB)

Matthew Henry Commentary and others are careful to point out the ‘good wife’ part of the passage. In a day when about half of marriages become dissolved, I am blessed to still enjoy the love of my life. Mine, is a ‘good wife.’


Matthew Henry Commentary Proverbs 18:22

1. A good wife is a great blessing to a man. He that finds a wife…that is, a good wife indeed, a jewel of great value, a rare jewel; he has found that which will not only contribute more than any thing to his comfort in this life, but will forward him in the way to heaven.

2. God is to be acknowledged in it with thankfulness; it is a token of his favour, and a happy pledge of further favours; it is a sign that God delights in a man to do him good and has mercy in store for him; for this, therefore, God must be sought unto.

Barnes’ Notes on Proverbs 18:22

The sense seems to require, “Whoso findeth a good wife,” as in some Chaldee manuscripts; but the proverb writer may be looking at marriage in its ideal aspect, and sees in every such union the hands of God joining together man and woman for their mutual good.


This Groom Is Singing The Weddings First Song, To God.  “I Want To Thank You.”



Like Me, This Groom Is Indeed Thankful For His Wife.



Happy Valentines Day To Marcia Starr Ballestero, My Life Long Love!

Your consecrated walk with God has brought to our home and to me the blessings and the favor of the Lord.

I will never be able to thank you enough for the great gift you are to me and our children, and our children’s children! You my Dear are the BEST!




Written by Martyn Ballestero

February 12, 2013 at 11:58 pm

I’m Very Sorry He Married Her!

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I’m Very Sorry He Married Her!

“Hey Benjamin. Did you go to King Solomon’s wedding today?” He married the daughter of King Hiram, someone told me.”

“No sir, I didn’t go. I wasn’t invited and I’m very sorry he married her!

“He seems to be getting married two or three times a month now as it is. I can’t keep up with it all. If he continues to marry at this rate, he’ll probably have a 1,000 wives and concubines by the time he’s done. What makes me sad is that each new wife seems to be worse than the last one.”

“Hush,” the Father said! “If the King hears what you are saying about him, he’ll have both of our necks. It’s treason to talk like that. Don’t ever let anyone else hear you say this. You are very sorry he married her?”

“Father, you haven’t seen the idols around Jerusalem that King Solomon has built lately. I wish you could. It’s wrong. These heathen brides have influenced our King for evil. They have led his heart away from the Lord.”

“Son, I can barely walk now as it is and have been sick these many years. I have not seen what you have seen and this news distresses me sore.”

“Father, we are Levities. It is our duty under God to preserve the Law of God and keep his commandments. We love it and it’s our life. It is to be the life and the love of our children and our children’s children too.”

“Benjamin, you are a faithful son and I am blessed of God that you are daily serving Him in the Temple. My heart is saddened that our King is not serving the Lord, as did his Father David. I pray that God protect our people from going astray as well.”

“Me too Father. Some of the other Levites and myself have been quietly talking of the changes we see. We are distressed. We have seen these new idols and we know that God is not happy either. Here is what has happened lately.”

“King Solomon has recently built a high place for Chemosh right here close to the Temple. What was he thinking? The worshipers of Chemosh even offer child sacrifices. Our sons and daughters will be offered. He is flaunting this before our faces. He is daring us to criticize his deeds.

“The King has loved many strange women. He married the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, Hittites and others. It’s just wrong. His desire for more women is never satisfied.

“He doesn’t even ask them to convert. He marries them just like they are. They convert him, and he’s the wisest man I know. He’s not thinking right when it comes to women.

“They all come with their jewelry, their ornaments and their ungodly customs of dress and attire. Their faces are all painted up. Some even have marks made upon their skin unto their gods of impurity.

“He has gone after Ashtoreth as well. You know, the fertility goddess. She is almost always joined with Baal worship. Immoral deeds are committed in public. Our children see this. The young women that refuse to be defiled in it’s worship and want to remain virgins are forced to pass through the fires of Molech and be sacrificed. How can these things be in Israel? How could this happen here?

The Ammonites and the Moabites are cursed of God. Even those that are proselytes cannot enter into the Temple for 10 generations. Yet the King marries them and brings their gods to Jerusalem. What can we do? We are but servants in the House of the Lord. He is the King.

“The women he has married of the Edomites are Esau’s children. They are despisers of the birthright. The family of the man God hated. Yet the King thinks they are beautiful and marries them with only his pleasure in mind.

“The women of the Zidonians he has married, worship Ashtoreth, the Hittite women are almost lawless, and anything goes with them. They only have a handful of things that they even consider wrong. They are a lawless people by nature.

“The other Levites say that they seldom ever see the King come near the Temple any more. But they see him visiting the High Places of these idols with his heathen wives. It’s an abomination unto the Lord.

“The sacrifices at the Temple have been down lately. Some of the people are following after the King’s example and are worshiping in the high places too, rather than at the Temple.

“Even Nathan the Prophet doesn’t come to see him much that I know of. Maybe he thinks himself above the law of God. Maybe he thinks he can do all this and his heart not be turned aside. But, he is wrong, Father. It’s already happened.

“Our beloved King has somehow forsaken every precept and every commandment of the law that he put in our hearts. He told us how to live and now he is not living it himself. Now, he has forsaken the old paths. It’s only a matter of time before our people Israel will follow in his steps. Our people are in a fearful place, Father.”

“My son, Job said that great men are not always wise. I weep today because I cannot change the heart of my King. Only he can make the choice to change. I pray we will be not punished of God and scattered among the heathen. I pray that the Name of the Lord be not lost among us forever.”

“Me too Father.”

“Years ago when I was able to serve in the Temple, one of the other Levites gave me a copy of some of the proverbs the King had written. Let me read you some of them.

 Proverbs 2:16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.
18 For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead.
19 None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.


Proverbs 5:1 My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:
2 That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
3 For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
4 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.


Proverbs 22:14 The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein.

“How can he write things like that Father, and the do what he said not to so?”

“I do not know. He also wrote in another book he calls Ecclesiastes, ‘Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.”

“My son, if an unknown Israelite had married a gentile, that would be bad enough. It would not have the blessings of God upon it at all. It is being unequally yoked together and God is against that.

“But if this unknown Israelite did marry, he would not have by himself caused all Israel to sin by accepting and praising his deed. To hear that our King is doing this so openly tells me his mind is made up, and no one can change him.”

“I agree, I hear that many lords in the Kingdom are praising his new bride and telling the King that they are happy for him. That he deserves to have happiness in his life and that if she gives that to him, then they are happy for him. they’ve all lost their fear of God.

“May God help us all!

“Now when I say, “God save the King, I say it with more meaning than ever.”

“Son, my heart’s desire and my prayer to God is for Israel, that they may be saved. Kings can rise no higher than their wives allow them to. Yet the King has sinned and will not be blameless before the Lord. May God keep us all safe from such ungodly leadership and influence.


1Kings 11:5 For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites.

1Kings 11:7 Then did Solomon build an high place for Chemosh, the abomination of Moab, in the hill that is before Jerusalem, and for Molech, the abomination of the children of Ammon.

1Kings 11:1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;

1Kings 11:3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.

1Kings 11:4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

June 22, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Young Person, Is That The Best Deal You Could Make?

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Young Person, Is That The Best Deal You Could Make?


  • Some People are just awful in Business.
  • It’s just not their nature to bargain, barter, or make a good deal.
  • They always seem to get cheated.
  • They always lose money when they sell things.
  • Others easily take advantage of them.


Imagine Then:

  • Selling an heirloom at a yard sale for $1.00.
  • Being happy to unload a treasure, at a give-a-way price, then get pressured to take $.50 and do.
  • Later, you find out the real value and you are ashamed of your own stupidity!
  • You realize you acted like you were an Idiot!
  • You sold it too cheap!
  • You’ll spend your life with that regret.
  • You didn’t make the Best Deal You Could Make!
  • Did you think you would never find another buyer?  (Was it Seller’s Panic?)
  • Basically, it looks like you were willing to give it away, or you didn’t care.
  • To YOU it had no value, because you placed none upon it.
  • Was it because you don’t know the value or worth of your possessions?
  • How can you possess something for years and be clueless of its value?
  • If you inherited something, you may or may not be sure of its value.
  • That’s why you could always get an appraisal, or even a second opinion.
  • You take what you have to a knowledgeable party and say: 
  1. Tell me what it’s worth?  
  2. Is this junk or real. 
  3. An Heirloom or Trash?
  4. Then you believe what they said and never settle for less.
  5. Treat yourself the same way


What Am I Talking About? The Value Of You!!

  • You.
  • The Value Of You.
  • The Business of You on the Open Market.
  • And what worries me is that You may be settling for give-a-way price.
  • If so, YOU must not have any respect for yourself. 
  • Or any hopes you have of ever doing much for God.
  • Because you were willing to place an Heirloom in the same basket as the Trash.
  • Too blinded by the flesh, to see the value of God’s gift (call) in your life.


I’m Always Amazed At Good Boys And Girls Settling For Spouses With:

  • No spirituality.
  • No personality.
  • No signs of the Holy Ghost.
  • No common ground but fleshly desire.


And I Say To Myself.  “Was That The Best Deal You Could Make?”

  • “Why didn’t you go to your Pastor and get an appraisal?”
  • “ And then, believed him?”
  • “Why didn’t you go to your Parents and get an appraisal?”
  • “And then believed them?”


The Body’s Skin Is Only The Wrapping Of The Present.

  • Only an idiot would so fall in love with the wrapping, that they never want to open the gift and see what is on the inside.
  • It’s what’s on the inside that is of value.
  • Shallow people fall in love with the wrapping and not what’s inside.


You Look In The Mirror, And…

  • All you see of yourself is a nose you don’t like.
  • Ears that somehow are all wrong to you.
  • Zits that you just know will turn off the world.
  • A Shape or Build that’s far from pleasing in your eyes.
  • So you feel that because you are, for the moment unhappy with the wrapping, you think the inside must not be worth much either.
  • So you De-value yourself.
  • That’s the first step towards making a bad Business Deal in life.
  • Settling for some Carnal Companion for a Marriage Partner.
  • Settling for someone who is very wrong for you.
  • I ask again, Was That The Best Deal You Could Make?
  • I wish I could get you to believe that: “You are someone very special!”


Hey guys, if all you are interested in is a girls dress size, then that may be all you ever get. If you marry just for the wrapping, you might be disappointed with the present. But if you look deeper and marry what’s inside, you’ll not be sorry.

  • What makes a person of Value & Worth settle for someone who is shallow and empty?  (You are deceived if you think you will help them grow in God.  Let them mature and grow in God first and then consider marriage.)
  • What makes a person of Value marry some sorry outfit that won’t work and just sits at home plays his Sony Play Station or Xbox 360 all day and night?
  • What makes a person of Value marry someone who is half Psycho? Was that the Best Deal they could make?  Surely not.
  • What makes a person of Value marry someone who would rather do drugs than live for God?

Maybe you’re in a small home missions church and you love God. But there are just not many boys in your church.  You get desperate and feel like you are running out of chances to get married, so you grab the first person who smiles at you. Regardless if they are in church or out. Regardless if they are on fire for God or not. Don’t think you will marry them and then fix them or get them saved. The odds are against you.

What makes a person of Value meet some carnal Quail-head at a Conference or Camp, and fall for them. Then marry and leave a Great church to go to some dried up excuse for one. Their soul will not doubt dry up too, just because they thought this is the best they could do.

In my opinion, it’s better to be an old maid wishing you could get married, than to be a married woman wishing you were an old maid. It would be better to be a bachelor on fire for God, than to marry someone who will drag you out of church. Why would anyone want to spend the rest of his or her life saying, “Come on honey, go to church with me tonight. Pleeeeeze?”

God’s plan for your life involves great things for you and for His Kingdom. Don’t go hormonal stupid and mess up what Heaven has in store for you!


Let Me Talk About The Parents For A Minute!

Isaac and Rebecca set helplessly by as their son threw away his future and married women that brought grief to their hearts. Sadly, it still is happening today.

 (Gen 26:34)  And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite:

(Gen 26:3V)  Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.

They were grieved because they knew Esau could have made a better deal and didn’t. But then again, this is the same man who made a bad deal in trading his birthright for a bowl of beans. Some people never seem to catch on.

I just happen to be the proud father of the most beautiful daughter in the world who is just as beautiful on the inside.  She is married to a great pastor that makes my heart proud as well. They are a wonderful couple that brings great joy to our family and me.

When my daughter Marisa was still single and living at home, it was not uncommon for young men to travel long distances just to come and see her. Pretty girls are worth seeing. They all hoped for a chance to win her affection. She did a good job filtering out the bad ones. (She got that gift and her good looks from her Mama.)

One time though, I didn’t give my daughter a chance to say no to a potential suitor. As the father, I became the filter and her personal defender.

She was about eighteen when a knock came on our front door one day. I opened the door and was very surprised. I did not know the young man, nor had I seen him before.  Neither had I ever heard him mentioned.

It looked like someone had set a bowl on top of his head and mowed around it leaving a black thick thatch of hair on top. He had a pierced lip, nose and an earring. His tongue was pierced too. His clothes looked soiled.

I nodded and said hello.

He gamely smiled and said, “Is Marisa Home.”

I looked him up and down real slow letting the smile leave me face. Then I looked him in the eye and with my no-nonsense voice I said, “Not to you, she’s not.)

The look of shock was still on is face when I closed the door.

Don’t even think about telling me I was rude or impolite. I am a Father. A Father’s job is to protect his family.

You don’t raise a daughter up to the age of eighteen and then throw her away to the first pair of britches that comes by. Neither do you raise up a son and throw him to the first skirt that rustles in his direction. Furthermore, you don’t let them throw themselves away either.

If all they hear from mom and dad is criticism and negativity about themselves, they may not value themselves very much either. You may have just set up your own child to make a bad deal in life.

Be thankful to God if your child is a good son or daughter. Brag on them, encourage them, guide them without nagging or harshness. Love them into making the right choices. Validate their achievements and right choices with praise.

Young Person. God did something special when He made you. Believe it, and never settle for anyone that would keep you from being what God meant you to be. His hand is on your life. Don’t take it off.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

June 2, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Out Of Context, But Still The Truth

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Out Of Context, But Still The Truth

With my Reader’s permission, I am attempting to take a scripture out of context to illustrate a point. Knowing that doing so is dangerous; I will try to be careful. The scripture phrase that caught my attention comes from Psalms ninety-one.

Psa. 91:6… the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

“The Destruction That Wasteth At Noon Day.”

The original meaning of the impending judgment in this verse gets obscured when I think of a secondary application.

The life of a man, I suppose could be loosely classified using three basic stages of life, Youth, Middle Age, and Old Age.

Adults understand that young people can make mistakes. With the maturing process sometimes come tears and maybe even a little heartache. Older folks sometimes look at a young person with problems and tell themselves, “They’ll grow out of it!” Most often, they do. It’s called maturity.

By the time a man is retired, and his hair has fallen out, he is expected to act like he has some sense. As Bill Cosby once quipped, “He’s an old man trying to get into heaven now.”

The middle-aged group, however, is my focus. Society has a term for a guy who ‘acts out’ or does something stupid when he is middle age. They call it a mid-life crisis. Pick up on the word crisis. To me, that crisis can be the ‘destruction that wasteth in the noonday’ of a man’s life.

Of late, I’ve heard way too many stories of such destruction. I understand that all of us go through hormonal changes before we die. It’s no secret. We know about it. We all know about it even before it happens. Even with all the warning signs, some men (occasionally a woman, but mostly men) surrender to their primal urges. They no longer think of family, church or God. All they can focus on is their own desire. They selfishly trade all their family’s future peace and joy for what they imagine is the ultimate pleasure.  The forbidden.

Why do some Spirit filled men ignore all the warnings and throw moral caution to the wind. I know some that made it through their youth and remained pure.  Then, they messed up when they got older. That’s pure stupidity. Right when you have the most to lose, you throw it away for a fling.

Look again at the faithful bride you were once were head over heals in love with. The one God gave you. You can’t afford to let her walk away! And your children! Man, are you crazy? How do you face your babies when they know you’ve just destroyed their home? What’s going to happen to them? You’ve just brought your own house down on top of yourself. It’s not worth it… ever!

Esau threw away a birthright for just one meal. Heb. 12:16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.

Don’t do anything stupid. Keep your flesh under subjection. It’s possible or God would not have required it. It’s what normal people do. It’s certainly what Spirit-filled people do. Die out to your carnal lusts. The Apostle Paul told us he did. He said he died daily. If Paul had too, we don’t have an excuse.

Every one has to keep their flesh under subjection and in control. Quit thinking that you are an exception. You’re not. Everyone’s flesh is weak. We all need God’s help. We also need to purpose in our own hearts to be faithful.

I can’t make you be faithful to your wife, sir. Ma’am, I can’t make you be faithful to your husband either. I sure can’t make you love each other. Actually, no one can make you do anything. The price you will pay for your personal pleasure will be greater than you could ever imagine. It will end in disillusion and shame.

There are three scripture verses encouraging men to love their wives.

  • The first one explains that she should be loved with all your heart.
  • The second scripture admonishes the husband to let go of the past problems in the relationship, and in spite of those hurts, love her!
  • The third one commands husbands to love their wife like they love themselves. If you don’t love your wife, then you don’t even love yourself.

Eph. 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Col. 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Eph. 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Purpose in your heart to protect yourself and protect your family from the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

Be the man your wife needs you to be.

Be the man your children believe you to be.

Be the man God has called you to be.

Be a Man!

Written by Martyn Ballestero

April 27, 2011 at 12:52 am

Posted in Failure, Family, Love, Marriage, Regret

Tagged with ,