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The Curse Of The Permissive Parent And Pastor

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The Curse Of The Permissive Parent And Pastor

My critics might say that this blog post is written with a bad spirit, I pray not, but it if so, may the Lord forgive me. Please allow me to give an altar call of sorts.

Parents

My beloved wife and I may be senior citizens now, but we have learned a few things about raising a family throughout the years. We have been richly blessed of the Lord with five of the most wonderful children parents could ever pray to have. But, it’s the raising of them that requires the help of the Lord and wisdom of a Solomon.

I cannot take credit for the wisdom part, (My wife is blessed with good common sense.) but we both have been greatly helped by our dear parents, by the Lord and by His Word.

Parents have to learn when to say Yes, and when to say No. Sometimes, both words are hard to say.

A child that never hears the word No while growing up, will most likely have a difficult time saying No to themselves as an adult.

We all enjoy the cute personality displays in our children. We love their antics and brag on their accomplishments. It’s all part of being a parent.

But, no one likes to see a tantrum when a child doesn’t get his or her way. But, it does happen. It happens at home, in Wal-Mart, in the car and even at church.

Many times a parent must say No to their darling child for it’s own good. Those pleading eyes and their sweet-talking may melt your heart. Remember however, your sweet innocent little child has learned long ago how to work the family system and manipulate your emotions. Oh yes.

When we see a well-mannered teen or young adult, we know they didn’t become that way just by themselves. There was someone in their life that helped make and mold them into that young adult we admire.

What Type Of Children Do Permissive Parents Produce?

·      Spoiled brats?

·      Children that must always have their own way?

·      Children that feel free to talk back to their parents?

·      Undisciplined and disrespectful that will bring their parents shame?

Who in their right mind would want to be married to someone that carried that same spoiled brat attitude into their adult life?

Children who have been blessed with loving parents, who were not afraid to say No, receive the most compliments in life. Just saying.

Under the disguise of being merciful and loving, some have permitted the development of little monsters in their own home.

 

The Curse Of The Permissive Parent Is That Your Child Will Bring You Shame.

 

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Additional Reading:

Seven Signs Your Kid Is A Brat

http://www.care.com/child-care-permissive-parenting-7-signs-your-kid-is-a-brat-p1017-q6594347.html

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Pastors

Pastors also have to learn when to say Yes, and when to say No. Sometimes, both words are hard to say.

Remember the story of Eli, a High Priest in the Bible? He was a nice guy, a real nice guy… just weak. He was so weak he couldn’t say, No.

He was a High Priest over Israel. Yet, he would not judge the sins of his own sons. The boys were a disgrace to their father. They brought shame and reproach upon him, upon Israel and they angered God so much, that He killed them.

Eli’s sons, Hophni and Phinehas were priests, yet they showed great contempt for God’s Law and they openly sinned. No one dared cross them or complain. They made a great mockery in their execution of holy things in the Tabernacle.

KJV 1 Sam. 2:12 Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not the Lord.

ESV 1 Sam. 2:12 Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the Lord.

Eli’s sons were guilty of great crimes, which brought destruction upon their father’s house. Their actions caused the Ark of God to be lost to the great enemy of Israel.

shmuel-a04b-eliPhinehas died in battle with the Philistines (1 Sam. 4: 4, 11); and his wife, on hearing of his death, gave birth to a son, whom she named Ichabod, saying, “The glory is departed from Israel” and then she died.

Upon hearing the news of the loss of the Ark in battle and the death of his sons, Eli fell from where he was sitting and broke his neck and died. Scripture says that Eli’s heart trembled for the Ark. That is very commendable. But why didn’t that same love for the Ark make him correct the sons that served the Ark with him?

A pastor that condones or excuses the sinfulness of his children will live long enough to regret the day he gave in to their pleas for permission to do wrong. As a pastor, you of all people should know that you really do not love your child when you:

  • Supply them with money for their habits.
  • Excuse their inability to keep a job even though they are married with children.
  • Refuse to believe they could ever be guilty of wrongdoing.
  • Excuse their prescription drug abuse.
  • Always take their side against their spouse.
  • Allow them on the platform while they are under the influence of a controlled substance to which they are addicted.
  • Ignoring their drinking problem.
  • Use them in leadership.
  • Overlook their moral problems.
  • Keep bailing them out of jail and sticking them behind the pulpit again.
  • Allow their tempers and threats to cause good people to leave church.
  • Have a different standard for the saint’s kids than for your own.

(Saints may not say anything to you, but they are not stupid. They see what is going on, but they keep on, as best they can, hoping you will correct the situation somehow.)

But If You Don’t…

You sir, have just become another Eli. God is not pleased with the shame you have allowed to be brought upon His house. It’s just a matter of time before the word Ichabod will be written again. Only this time, it will be written very close to you.

If you desire the glory of God to continue to bless and anoint the church you pastor. Take the oversight, reprove and rebuke with all long-suffering. Love what God loves, hate what God hates.

Under the disguise of being merciful and loving, some pastors have permitted the development of monsters.

The Curse Of The Permissive Pastor Is That Your Child Will Bring Shame Upon You And The House Of God.

I Promise You, The Glory Will Depart. Revival Will Not Stay.

Written by Martyn Ballestero

April 6, 2013 at 12:18 pm

3 Responses

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  1. I don’t think you wrote this in a bad spirit, and if and anyone does, maybe they should read your previous post on judging righteous judgment. Your posts are always a joy to read. I may not always comment but, I sure do read and think on what you write. Thank you for doing what you do. May The Lord continue to bless you!

    J.J. Oropeza

    April 6, 2013 at 9:25 pm

  2. Excellent advice and observation. Sometimes when a pastor has done his best to raise his children, but they still sometimes mess up. I praise the saints that understand & keep loving our kids right back to God.
    Thanks again for the great blogs and heavenly instructions. It doesn’t take a village, but it does take the church to help us keep our children saved.

    Gerald Adams

    April 6, 2013 at 9:49 pm

  3. Reblogged this on donpollock's Blog.

    donpollock

    April 10, 2013 at 5:48 pm


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