Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category
Her Name’s “Marcia June”
Her Name’s “Marcia June”
By Martyn Ballestero
She always wraps us up,
In the comfort of her home.
With smiles that hold our soul,
And won’t let it feel alone.
Nothing ever can compare
To her plates of comfort food.
Every heart and tummy knows,
With her cooking, it was wooed.
We are drawn into her den
Of coziness and rest.
There she warms our hearts with words,
It’s good living at it’s best.
Her couch and Queen Anne chairs
Soothe her guest’s attention spans.
Pretty pillows great and small,
Compliment the old Afghans
The fireplace is her love,
It’s warmed her heart the most.
There she likes to entertain,
She loves to be the host.
With calm and peaceful ways
She serves and pampers us.
Ever giving of herself
Without the muss or fuss.
She holds court upon her porch,
Where she reigns with cups of tea.
Making memories for life,
With folks like you and me.
Her husband beams with pride
Knowing she is just the best.
All her children quickly say,
Because of her, they’re blest.
Her front door stands open wide,
So friends can just drop by,
Just to get their daily dose.
That she’s loved, is not a lie.
Little children laugh and play
Glad to be at home with her.
With her gentle and calm voice,
She’s the one who they prefer.
All that know her love her dear.
(She can sing the sweetest tune.)
It’s with joy I tell you now,
Her name’s Marcia June!
Out Of Context, But Still The Truth
Out Of Context, But Still The Truth
With my Reader’s permission, I am attempting to take a scripture out of context to illustrate a point. Knowing that doing so is dangerous; I will try to be careful. The scripture phrase that caught my attention comes from Psalms ninety-one.
Psa. 91:6… the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
“The Destruction That Wasteth At Noon Day.”
The original meaning of the impending judgment in this verse gets obscured when I think of a secondary application.
The life of a man, I suppose could be loosely classified using three basic stages of life, Youth, Middle Age, and Old Age.
Adults understand that young people can make mistakes. With the maturing process sometimes come tears and maybe even a little heartache. Older folks sometimes look at a young person with problems and tell themselves, “They’ll grow out of it!” Most often, they do. It’s called maturity.
By the time a man is retired, and his hair has fallen out, he is expected to act like he has some sense. As Bill Cosby once quipped, “He’s an old man trying to get into heaven now.”
The middle-aged group, however, is my focus. Society has a term for a guy who ‘acts out’ or does something stupid when he is middle age. They call it a mid-life crisis. Pick up on the word crisis. To me, that crisis can be the ‘destruction that wasteth in the noonday’ of a man’s life.
Of late, I’ve heard way too many stories of such destruction. I understand that all of us go through hormonal changes before we die. It’s no secret. We know about it. We all know about it even before it happens. Even with all the warning signs, some men (occasionally a woman, but mostly men) surrender to their primal urges. They no longer think of family, church or God. All they can focus on is their own desire. They selfishly trade all their family’s future peace and joy for what they imagine is the ultimate pleasure. The forbidden.
Why do some Spirit filled men ignore all the warnings and throw moral caution to the wind. I know some that made it through their youth and remained pure. Then, they messed up when they got older. That’s pure stupidity. Right when you have the most to lose, you throw it away for a fling.
Look again at the faithful bride you were once were head over heals in love with. The one God gave you. You can’t afford to let her walk away! And your children! Man, are you crazy? How do you face your babies when they know you’ve just destroyed their home? What’s going to happen to them? You’ve just brought your own house down on top of yourself. It’s not worth it… ever!
Esau threw away a birthright for just one meal. Heb. 12:16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.
Don’t do anything stupid. Keep your flesh under subjection. It’s possible or God would not have required it. It’s what normal people do. It’s certainly what Spirit-filled people do. Die out to your carnal lusts. The Apostle Paul told us he did. He said he died daily. If Paul had too, we don’t have an excuse.
Every one has to keep their flesh under subjection and in control. Quit thinking that you are an exception. You’re not. Everyone’s flesh is weak. We all need God’s help. We also need to purpose in our own hearts to be faithful.
I can’t make you be faithful to your wife, sir. Ma’am, I can’t make you be faithful to your husband either. I sure can’t make you love each other. Actually, no one can make you do anything. The price you will pay for your personal pleasure will be greater than you could ever imagine. It will end in disillusion and shame.
There are three scripture verses encouraging men to love their wives.
- The first one explains that she should be loved with all your heart.
- The second scripture admonishes the husband to let go of the past problems in the relationship, and in spite of those hurts, love her!
- The third one commands husbands to love their wife like they love themselves. If you don’t love your wife, then you don’t even love yourself.
Eph. 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Col. 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Eph. 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Purpose in your heart to protect yourself and protect your family from the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
Be the man your wife needs you to be.
Be the man your children believe you to be.
Be the man God has called you to be.
Be a Man!
She’s A Lady!
She’s A Lady!
(From an old man’s point of view, with help from the two Beautiful Ladies in my life; my wife Marcia Starr Ballestero and my daughter Marisa Hartzell.)
MJB
÷÷÷
Marcia June Starr Ballestero
If you are a Lady, it is no accident. A lot of caring people got involved in the training process.
- A Lady is not born a Lady; she’s made into one.
- Someone had to help her.
- Her parents, her family, or someone close, participated in her education.
- If she is a Lady, it’s not an accident.
- A Lady conducts herself as a Lady.
- She expects to be treated like a Lady and she won’t settle for less.
- There are some things a Lady always does and some things a Lady would never do.
For Example:
1. A Lady Is Never Loud
- She uses her ‘inside’ voice when speaking.
- A Lady does everything to keep from being known as a loud mouth.
- She doesn’t scream and yell unless it’s absolutely necessary.
- She doesn’t rant and rave to get her way.
- She always strives to keep her composure and show calmness.
2. A Lady Watches Her Language
- She doesn’t use swear words.
- She lives so that if someone did swear around her, they would apologize.
- She doesn’t tell off color jokes.
- She avoids being around those that do.
3. A Lady Is Private About Her Personal Life
- She does not cheapen her life or others by passing along private information.
- She would never ask anyone else about their private life.
4. She Would Include The Pastor (And God) In Her Courtship
- She would ask the Pastor’s opinion of the guy she’s interested in.
- She would ask him if he would approve of you two ‘seeing each other.’
- She would invite him to pray with you about him.
- A relationship with a wrong person may destroy her.
- Someone worth marrying is most often found worshipping or around an altar, not hanging around the foyer.
- She would break up with him if her Pastor advised her to and be thankful that he was watching for her soul.
- She would be very worried if her friends didn’t like him.
- She would be very worried if her parents didn’t like him.
- She would honor her parent’s wishes and requests.
5. A Lady Always Tries To Be On Time
- There will always be occasions when things run late. She tries to make that the exception.
- A Lady has much more personal preparation than a man. That’s a given. She doesn’t abuse the privilege.
6. A Lady Pays Attention To Her Personal Hygiene
- She takes a shower or bath faithfully.
- She finds a deodorant that works for her.
- She brushes her teeth and uses mouthwash if necessary.
- She Keeps a supply of Q-tips .
- She knows Cologne can be smelled from afar and that it can be overwhelming. She is uses it with moderation.
- She knows that it’s not a substitute for soap.
- She shampoos her hair and keeps her scalp free of sweat and dandruff.
- She knows that just the word ‘Lady’ conjures up a picture of cleanliness and beauty in a man’s mind.
7. She Is Careful About Her Nose
- She excuses herself to blow her nose.
- She leaves the table to do it if possible.
- She turns her back to the table guests if she can’t leave to take care of her business and then places handkerchief in her purse or out of sight.
- She is aware that a wet nose is only tolerated on dogs.
- She keeps her finger out of her nose in public.
8. A Lady Pays Attention To Her Clothes
- She keeps her shoes polished.
- She cleans and trims her fingernails.
- She dresses with class.
- She does not wear revealing and formfitting clothes.
- She does not show cleavage.
- She does not dress so as to leave nothing to the imagination.
- She wears dresses that cover her knees even when sitting.
- She knows that she will not attract a Godly Husband by dressing like the world.
- She knows that if she doesn’t dress like the ‘world’ she won’t attract as many undesirables.
9. A Lady Is Gracious
- She says thank you when doors are opened for her.
- She says thank you when he pulls the chair out for you at the table.
- She says thank you when a Gentleman assists her with her coat. (On or off.)
- She says thank you when a Gentleman gives up his chair for her.
- She says thank you when a Gentleman picks up something she dropped.
10. A Lady Has Dining Manners
- She always chews with her mouth closed.
- She doesn’t talk with her mouth full.
- She takes modest sized bites
- She avoids ordering food with garlic if she is going to spend time with ‘him’.
- She never uses her finger to shove food onto her fork. She may use a knife or bread.
- She doesn’t place her elbows on the table.
- She places her napkin in her lap and not in her collar.
- She does not eat as if she were condemned.
- She knows a Gentleman is grossed out immediately by a Lady’s bad table manners.
- She does not burp, pass gas or spit in public.
11. A Lady Is Careful With Her Dating Conversation:
- She never mentions former boyfriends.
- She asks him questions about himself. (Maybe he’ll catch on and ask her.)
- She doesn’t yap on and on about herself.
- She will open up and talk if she cares about him.
- She doesn’t get too serious too quick.
12. A Lady Makes The Wedding Plans: (When you arrive at that decision.)
- She knows a Wedding is the ultimate social event in a woman’s life.
- She knows a Lady should have all the free reign she needs in it’s planning.
- She knows that He should follow her lead and if He does, He won’t be sorry.
13. A Lady Doesn’t Want To Sound Like A Control Freak To Him.
- She doesn’t try to change the music he’s listening to, even if it’s not what she likes.
- She knows there will be time to play hers.
- She doesn’t try to ‘change’ him as soon as he becomes hers either.
14. A Lady Keeps Her Ego In Check
- She never acts like the world revolves around her.
- She never pouts or throws a fit to get her way.
- She keeps her emotions in check in public.
- She will not participate in a ‘Cat Fight’.
15. A Lady Does Not Pursue The Man
- A Lady does not openly pursue the man
- She waits for him to make the initial call.
- She waits for the man to come to her.
- She does not cheapen herself to get his attention.
- She will not throw herself at a man.
16. A Lady Allows The Man To Pay
- She expects Gentleman pays for all the expenses.
- She also understands that just because he bought her a hamburger, it doesn’t mean she OWES him anything!
17. A Lady Has Phone Manners
- She takes time to speak to his parents or siblings when they answer the phone if she has to call.
- She will never just blurt just out, “Is _____ There?”
- She knows taking time to talk to the Mother or Father will go a long way in helping her future with the family.
- She will not spend her time texting other people when she is with Him.
- She will focus on who she is with.
- She shows those she is with how important they are to her by not texting or calling other people at the table.
- She wouldn’t think of texting in church.
- She would never be part of sending or receiving inappropriate photos and texts.
- She knows that if a guy is willing to send her an inappropriate photo or text, she has just been warned as to his lack of morals, consecration and his intentions.
18. The Lady Knows When And Where To Draw The Line
- She draws the line.
- She demands respect of her purity and honor.
- She would never make improper advances or say suggestive things.
- She would never allow herself to be touched in an inappropriate manner or place.
- She would never think of having to ‘Prove Her Love”
- She would respect his parents, her parents and their pastor’s guidelines for courtship.
- She means ‘NO’, when she says ‘NO”.
- She understands that after she says goodnight, if she has to repent before she goes to bed, then something is wrong with her relationship.
20. A Lady Doesn’t Stay Out All Night?
- She always honors her parent’s and the pastor’s curfew.
- She knows that she should be home before midnight even if there is no curfew. Just to protect her good name.
- She will protect herself and protect him, by not spending a lot of time alone together.
- She will inform her parents about where she plans to go and what she plans to do.
- She will make sure her parents have her cell number and invite them to call her if the need arises.
- She knows the Bible already said that flesh is weak. It is weak. She will not knowingly put herself or him in a position to be tempted. There is no guy worth going to hell over.
21. A Lady Will Never Let The Romance Die After Marriage.
- She will keep the courtship alive until her last breath.
- A Lady will always be loved.
In Memory Our First Valentine’s Day
To My Loving Bride Of 45 Years.
In Memory Our First Valentine’s Day
The year was 1965. We were almost engaged. I was already head-over-heals in love with you. I just couldn’t let the most romantic day of the year go by without making an all out effort to see you.
The Youth Revival in Lansing, Michigan I’d preached at your Grandfather Hebert Starr’s church had just closed. I was back home in South Bend, Indiana for a few days with my parents. My car was in the shop getting some repairs done, and I was desperate for transportation. I’d asked my old friend Bobby Edgin if he would take me to see you so I could give you my Valentine’s Day gifts. He and his wife drove me the 100 miles to Albion, Michigan after he got off work. We got to your church a little bit late.
The song service was already in progress. We surprised you by coming. You looked so beautiful sitting up there in the orchestra playing your saxophone. You were dressed in a fashionable A-line “Poodle” skirt and beautiful blouse. Your white bobby socks completed your outfit. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.
You were a Senior in High School. I found out later you were still in your school clothes. Your hair was beautifully curled as usual, and hung down over your shoulders and back. I had never watched you from out in the audience before.
When I’d preached the Youth Revival for your Dad three months earlier, I’d sat with him on the platform behind you and the orchestra. You looked beautiful to me from every angle.
As soon as the orchestra was dismissed that night, you disappeared for a while. In a few minutes you returned to the service having changed out of your school clothes into something more dressy, with nylons and heels as well. Then you came and sat by me. I’d never sat by a girl in church before. I have absolutely no memory of the sermon. You were the only thing on my mind!
I couldn’t stay long after service because it was a 2-hour drive back home and my ride disliked staying up late.
Not long after the service was over, I gave you my card and candy. I remember giving you something else but I have forgotten. Whatever it was, it was just part of the excuse to see you, tell you I loved you, and hope there might be an opportunity for another hug and a few kisses. There certainly was!
After all these years, my love, I’m still coming back for more of those wonderful kisses. They seem to get sweeter with time.
I love you Marcia June Starr Ballestero.
I Really Love You, And I Always Will!
Happy Valentine’s Day My Love, for the 46th time, from the man who’s still thrilled to be your husband.
XOXOXO
If You Were A Gentleman!
If You Were A Gentleman!
- Man is not born a Gentleman; he’s made into one.
- Someone had to help him.
- He had to be taught.
- Either his parents, his family, the woman he loves, or his friends participated in his education.
- If you were a Gentleman, it wouldn’t be an accident. There are some things you would do and some things you wouldn’t.
For Example:
At 13, my mother instructed me to pull out the chairs at the table for my 4 younger sisters. She also told me she wanted me to open the doors for them as well.
I was not thrilled at all with my new duties. I did it, but without enthusiasm or smiles. When we were alone one day, I asked my mother why I had to pull out chairs and open doors for my little sisters.
She said, “If you don’t know how to treat your sisters nice, you’ll never know how to treat your wife nice.”
Women notice not only the obvious, but they are keenly aware of the little things that guys do every day.
While some behavior is acceptable around most guys, the women, the men are attracted to, might not welcome it.
__________________________
Here’s Some Advice You Never Asked For, Didn’t Want, And Became Offended When It Was Given To You.
__________________________
Some Do’s And Don’ts:
1. Include The Pastor (And God) In Your Courtship
- Ask his opinion of her.
- Ask him if he would approve of you two ‘seeing each other.’
- Invite him to pray with you about her.
- A relationship with a wrong person may destroy you.
- Someone worth marrying is most often found worshipping or around an altar, not hanging around the foyer.
- Break up with her, if your Pastor advises you to. Be thankful that he is watching for your soul.
- Be very worried if your parents don’t like her.
- Honor their requests.
2. Be On Time
3. Hygiene:
- Take a shower, we have showerhead systems available cheap these days, use soap.
- Deodorant is a must. Not a Musk.
- Brush your teeth. At least one of them.
- Use mouthwash if necessary.
- Sanitary wipes are important. Use them.
- Use the Q-tips. Clean out your ears.
- Cologne can be smelled from afar. It can be overwhelming. Be careful.
4. Clothes:
- Polish your shoes.
- Clean and trim your fingernails.
- Don’t mix blacks and browns
- Find a tie without any food stains
- By dressing up for her, you are sending the signal that you think she is important.
- (Why do guys so quickly fall into a relaxed mode when it comes to chivalry, etiquette and manners? Every guy needs some help in one or more of these areas.)
- Remember: EVERYTHING you say, do, and wear on important occasions, will be forever remembered.
5. Dining Manners:
- Open all doors for her.
- Pull the chair out for the lady when she is being seated.
- Pull the chair out for the lady when it is time to leave.
- Help her with her coat. (On or off.)
- When a lady stands to leave a table to go to the powder room, a gentleman stands while she leaves the table.
- He stands again when a lady returns to the table.
- Always chew with your mouth closed
- Don’t talk with your mouth full.
- Take modest sized bites
- Avoid ordering food with garlic.
- Don’t use your finger to shove food onto your fork. Use a properly sharpened knife and fork or some bread or pita.
- Place your napkin in your lap and not in your collar.
- Do not eat as if you were condemned.
- Women are grossed out immediately by bad table manners.
- When you pay the waiter, don’t be stingy and tip to the exact cent.
- You can look at a check and figure 10% in your head. Round it off and then double it.
- She will figure, that if you are tight with the waitress, you will be tight with her. She will be right.
- No burping, passing gas or spitting.
6. Conversation:
- Former girlfriends should not be entering into your conversations.
- Ask her questions about herself.
- Don’t yap on and on about you.
- Most Men love with their eyes, most Women love with their ears.
- Talk to the Girl. (About Herself!)
7. Wedding Plans: (If you ever make it that far)
- If you dominate the plans concerning the wedding, you’re not wise.
- A Wedding is the ultimate social event in a woman’s life. Let her have all the free rein she needs in it’s planning.
- Follow her lead. You won’t be sorry.
- Any negativity from you will not be forgotten.
8. Don’t sound like a control freak to her.
- Even if her music is different from what you like, let her play it.
- There will be time to play yours.
- Let her be the keeper of the home.
- Let her decorate the way that makes her happy.
- Sometimes you win by surrendering.
- It’s OK to let your heart and your head get a little mushy about the girl.
9. Hats
- Take your hat or cap off when you meet a lady.
- Take it off in the elevator
- Take it off in the church
- Take it off at the table
10. Bring flowers. Bring Candy, Don’t be cheap.
11. The Male Ego
- A Gentleman does not have to thump his chest and act like Tarzan to be a man.
- Use your physical strengths to be a blessing, not a brawler.
- Men seem to want the woman to submit to their authority after marriage, yet some men struggle with submitting to God’s authority or even Pastoral authority.
- Why should she submit to you when you won’t submit?
- A Gentleman never sits when a lady has to stand. On a bus, in a waiting room, or any other crowded setting. Give her your seat.
- Never require of another what you would not be willing to do yourself.
- The real measure of a man is not his biceps or chest size. A true measure of a man is between his ears. His thinking, his decisions, his choices are indicators of his maturity.
- Get a job, search on the top job search websites. A steady job. Keep your job. Don’t quit it because you found something you didn’t like about it. Have consistency in your life.
- Pay your bills.
- Be a man. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk.
12. Your Eyes
- Like the Bible says, ‘make a covenant’ with your eyes.
- Look her in the eyes when you are talking.
- Don’t stare at her chest.
- (God forbid you be seen staring at another girl’s body in her presence.)
- A Christian Gentleman doesn’t ogle a lady’s physical attributes. Look her in the eyes!
13. Dress Size
- If you are determined that a girl has to be a certain dress size for you to be interested, then a dress size may all you ever get out of that relationship
- Don’t rob yourself of possibly the best kept Treasure in Pentecost, just because you are hung up on what you think a woman’s dress size should be.
14. Who’s Going to Pay?
- Never let her pay for your food, or your gas, for that matter.
- A Gentleman pays for all the expenses.
- You are the ‘pursuer’ so you do the paying.
- She will love you if you’re rich or poor. If you don’t have a lot of money, she understands. Just do what you can afford to do.
- Don’t be a piker or be skimpy on what you spend on her. She will resent the fact that, if you do have some money, you were too tight to spend it on her.
- She will be quick to appreciate your sacrifice.
- Just because you bought her a hamburger, doesn’t mean she OWES you anything!
15. The Nose
- If you must blow your nose… excuse yourself,
- Leave the table to do it if possible.
- If you can’t, turn your back to the table guests, take care of your business and then pocket the filled handkerchief.
- Never place a napkin with filled with snot back on the table. Especially if the boogers are showing.
- Remember, a wet nose is only tolerated on dogs.
- PS. If a cold or sinus drainage is an issue, try medication.
- Keep your finger out of your nose.
- No booger picking or flipping.
16. The Phone
- When you call a girl’s house and her parents or siblings answer the phone, take a few moments and talk to them.
- Never blurt out immediately, “Is _____ There?”
- Your taking time to talk to the Mother or Father will go a long way in helping your future with the family.
- When you are together, don’t spend your time texting other people. Focus on who you are with.
- Never text and drive.
- Your texting and calling other people at the table tells everyone there that they are not important to you.
- I know you don’t text in church.
- Never be part of sending or receiving inappropriate photos and texts.
- If she is willing to send you an inappropriate photo, you have just been warned as to her lack of morals and consecration.
17. The Man Draws The Line
- A Christian Gentleman draws the line.
- He would respect her
- He would never make improper advances or say suggestive things
- He would never touch her in an inappropriate manner or place.
- He would never think of asking her to ‘Prove Her Love”
- He would respect his parents, her parents and their pastor’s guidelines for courtship.
- When a lady says ‘NO’, that means ‘NO”.
- After you say goodnight, if you have to repent before you go to bed, then something is wrong with your relationship.
18. Be A Worshipper
- What does this have to do with courtship? Maybe plenty.
- A man who has a difficult time expressing his love and affection for God, may have a difficult time expressing his affection to the woman he loves.
19. How Long Do You Stay Out?
- Always honor the parental or the pastor’s curfew.
- If there is none then be honorable and have her home BEFORE midnight.
- Protect yourself and protect her, don’t spend a lot of ‘alone time’. There is safety in numbers.
- Inform the parents about where you plan to go and what you plan to do.
- Make sure they have your cell number and invite them to call you if the need arises.
- The Bible already said your flesh is weak. It is weak. Quit trying to prove it’s not. Don’t knowingly put yourself or her in a position to be tempted. There is no girl worth going to hell over.
20. Never Let The Romance Die.
- After marriage, let the courtship continue until your last breath.
_______________________________________________________________________________
When my mom and dad got married, after the wedding, they had to take a city bus. Dad jumped on first to pay for them both and walked toward the back of the bus. When he turned around, he saw that mother was not on the bus. Looking out of the back window, he saw her still back on the street corner.
He jumped off at the next stop and ran the several blocks back. He asked, “What’s the matter Connie?”
She said, “Where I come from, a gentleman lets a lady on the bus first.”
My father apologized and said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t have a mother to teach me or have I ever had a sweetheart. Would you teach me?”
____________________________
All of us need help; we just need it in different areas. Let her know that if you are doing something that is distracting to her, you are willing to be helped. Then change.
If you treat her like a Queen, she’ll treat you like a King!
__________________________
May The Lord Bless You.
If You Had A Mule!
If You Had A Mule!
In early American history, frontiersmen eked out a meager existence, in the harshest of times. Often, survival was directly connected to hard work, and the kindnesses of Mother Nature.
At best, one man by himself could barely grow enough food to last him through the long winters. He was glad to just get by.
But if he had a mule, life took an immediate upturn. More work was accomplished. He often was able to plow his 40 acres and harvest enough for himself and have enough left over to sell or trade.
It was by the help of the mule, that many a man moved from the survival mode to a more comfortable lifestyle.
The homesteader took very good care of his mule. His success was directly tied to the mule. The mule needed to be healthy, and to keep it healthy, it must be cared for.
- After working in the field all day, the mule was rubbed down with a burlap bag.
- It was curried with a brush.
- It was watered first, before the man.
- It was fed first, before the man.
- The man, would check to see if it needed shoes.
- Even if the man didn’t have good shoes, his mule did.
- If it needed shoes, that was a first order of business. It was a priority.
- After the mule was taken care of, the man then focused on his own needs.
(That was how I started a Bible Study many years ago, as pastor of Christ Temple Apostolic Church in South Bend.
I said, “I risk angering all the wives here tonight with my unkind comparison of them to a work animal. I apologize ahead of time.
“It is no secret that some men would take better care of a mule, than they would their own wife.” I continued…)
Men, I know this is over a hundred years later, but you’d be still in the survival mode without your good wife. It would be impossible for a man to list all of the duties and chores his wife routinely accomplishes for the betterment of his home. Too often, she does a hard days work without a word of praise or thanks.
She is ordered around, and treated far beneath her pay grade, which too often, is nothing at all. The man pockets the money, spends what he wants on himself. She has an empty purse. Some men spend $50 or more on a golf game, fishing supplies or a days hunt.
His wife has to ask him for money for hairspray, hose and personal items. God forbid she would ever ask for a pair of shoes or a dress. For her, it is demeaning to have to ask.
She made him a home. She sacrificed her health, her youth and her life to raise him a family. She does his cleaning, his cooking, and attends to his whims. Yet she is not allowed to enjoy the bounty and fruit of her labor on the same level her husband does. Shame on you sir.
If you had a mule, you would take better care of it, than you do your own wife!
At that point in my Bible Class, a chunk of plaster about as big as a pie pan fell from the ceiling and landed on Bro. McKinnies’ head.
As soon as I saw that he was not hurt, I pointed at him and said, “It’s you I’m talking about!”
We all laughed.
My sermon was over…
The Day Brother Buddy And Sister Bobbie Had A Fight!
The Day Brother Buddy And Sister Bobbie Had A Fight!
Brother Buddy wanted me to know. He was embarrassed by what he had done, but enough years had passed that he felt comfortable telling me about his moment of shame.
He sat in the back of his 16ft ‘Deep V’ aluminum fishing boat. His advanced age only allowed him so many outdoor pleasures. Bro. Buddy excelled as a fisherman. The main reason I was in the boat with him, I wanted to see how he caught so many fish. He always seemed to catch them left and right.
Sis. Bobbie had passed away quite a few years ago and Bro. Buddy, now almost 80 years old, lived only to fish and to go to church.
He pondered about how to begin his confession of sins. Presently, he decided on the appropriate avenue and began.
“Bobbie and me never had a lot of arguments. She was a very good wife and mother. I did my best to provide for her. I loved her. She loved me.
“One day back in the fifties, Bobbie told me that she wanted a new wash machine. I couldn’t believe it! The one we had worked just fine.
“I asked her what was wrong with the one we had, and she said, ’Nothing.’
“Well, if nothing is wrong with the one we have then why do we need a new one?”
“The one we have,” she said, “is old. It works fine but it’s old. The new ones have more wash options on them for different types of clothes, and I want us to get one.”
“I told her no. We don’t need it. It’s a waste of money.”
Sis. Bobbie said, “Buddy, the kids are grown. The house and car are paid for, we have the money in the bank to pay cash for it, and I want us to buy a new one.”
“I said, No.”
“She said, Yes.”
“I said, No.”
“She said, Yes.”
“Well pastor,” Bro. Buddy said, “I got so mad at her I took my fist and punched a hole through the sheet rock in the living room.
“While I was trying to pull my hand out of the wall, the telephone rang. Bobbie answered the phone. It was Sis. Jones. You know, Sis. Ray Jones? She was the former pastor’s wife.
“She told my wife that she needed to talk to her about some Ladies Auxiliary project.”
“Bobbie said, ‘come right on over.’
“Well, I was in a rush trying to figure out a way to cover that big hole in the wall. Sis. Jones only lived 5 minutes away, so I had to hurry.
“I looked in the hall closet and found one of those hand stitched word pictures. I grabbed a nail and a hammer and covered the hole with the picture. I was just finishing up when Sis. Jones knocked on the front door.
“Bobbie invited her in and as they came by the area where the new picture hung, Bobbie said, ‘How do you like our new picture?’
“She swung the picture to one side and showed Sis. Jones the big hole behind the picture.
“Buddy and me had a fight. He got mad and punched a hole in the wall with his fist and tried to cover up what he did with this picture.
“Bro. Ballestero, I was so ashamed.”
I smiled as my mind played the little story and I tried to imagine the moment he described. I couldn’t see this kindly old man being that upset. Curiosity got the best of me.
“ What did the sign say?” I asked.
That’s when he really got that sheepish look on his wrinkled old face. He lowered his head and mumbled.
“What?” I asked, “I couldn’t hear you.”
“Christ Is The Head Of This House.” He said.
I laughed till I cried.
An Old School Lesson – “If You Can Take It, You Can Make It.”
An Old School Lesson – “If You Can Take It, You Can Make It.”
I was mingling in the headquarters hotel lobby in Grand Rapids during the 1965 UPCI General Conference. At 21, I was a newlywed of two (2) months. I saw a familiar face, and turned to greet a treasured family friend, Bro. Howard H. Davis.
From my early childhood, the Ballestero and the Davis families have been close friends. Over the years, my father had talked to me in revered tones about all five of the Davis brothers. They all were Pastors or Missionaries. I grew up with an ingrained respect for them.
After we shook hands and hugged necks we greeted each other with small talk. He looked at me and said I’d like to talk to you a minute. I readily agreed.
Martyn & Marcia Ballestero 08/14/1965
He said, “Brother Marty, I know you’re married now and evangelizing. But you don’t look like you used to look. You’ve changed the way you comb your hair to one of these worldly hairstyles. I liked the “old” Bro. Marty better.
“You don’t look like a holiness preacher now. You don’t look like the son of Carl Ballestero. You don’t look like the Bro. Marty I used to know.”
I quickly tried to review in my mind, the reasons that I had changed to this “new look.” My wife had said it was “nice” and I guess that meant she liked it. There had even been a few compliments from friends my age. I really didn’t have a good answer why, except that I liked it. Maybe it was my vanity that started all this. I thought I looked “cool.” I didn’t consider if God was pleased or what injury I might do to my ministry, or lose in the respect of my Elders.
I knew in my heart that it took some love and bravery to walk up to the son of your friend and extend admonishment like Bro. Davis had, in hopes of helping me.
I was certainly caught off guard. Maybe the word stunned even comes to mind. I didn’t interrupt him. He was my Elder. He was my father’s dear friend. He then, in my mind, was my friend too by inheritance.
When he finished. I apologized for disappointing him. I told him how much I appreciated him loving me enough, and being brave enough to tell me what I needed to do. I told him that I would immediately go upstairs to my Hotel room and change my hairstyle back to the “Old Marty” look.
We hugged necks and I went to my room.
While I stood in front of the mirror, my wife asked in a gentle tone, “Baby, what are you doing?”
“I’m changing my hair back like I used to comb it,” I replied.
“But I like the other way,” she offered.
I replied, “So do I, Baby. So do I.”
When I was done combing my hair, I kissed her and left the room. I wanted to go downstairs to the Lobby again. When Bro. Davis spotted me from across the big room, he nodded my way and smiled. I nodded and smiled back.
Neither of us knew then, that someday he would become my Step Father-In-Law. I have privately thanked the Lord that I did not show a bad spirit or attitude that day. That I understood that he was brave enough to help a friend’s son stay on track. I will forever honor him for that alone.
Nearly twenty years later, 11 couples of pastors and their wives went together on a Caribbean cruise. It was the best trip ever! This was an opportunity to get better acquainted and relax. We all had great fun and enjoyed the fellowship of each other. I got a close-up look at Bro. Howard Davis. I watched him laugh, tell stories of his travels, and have a great time.
When we talked now, it really felt comfortable. I was no longer the little kid talking to grownups. I enjoyed the conversations, and camaraderie immensely.
Years later after the passing of their spouses, my Mother-in-law, June Starr and Howard Davis became acquainted. In private conversation one day with “Mom” Starr, I confided to her my opinion of Bro. Howard Davis.
I said, “If I was stranded on island for 6 months and allowed to have 3 friends with me, He would be one of them. He’s wise. He’s very knowledgeable about life. He’s balanced, He’s kind and He’s fun. He’s easy to be around. You’ll not be sorry if you marry him.”
One of my life’s happiest moments is when I was honored to walked down the aisle with my Mother-in-law on my arm to give her in marriage to Bro. Howard Davis.
He has become the father image in my life today. He’s a stabilizing factor for me in a changing world. His wonderful ministry is probably the best-kept secret in Pentecost.
I Love Bishop Howard H. Davis with all my heart! When my father died, my Pastor died also. I felt vulnerable and alone. I believe everyone needs a Pastor in the their life. I asked “Dad” Davis to be my Pastor and submitted myself to him. I am happy to call him, “Dad Davis” and Pastor!
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Epilogue:
My ‘Other’ Mother, Sis. June Davis, has written a Biography Of Bishop Howard Davis. You will want to get this book.
The book is entitled: ‘Man With A Purpose’
The book is 119 pages of Howard’s history, from childhood to US Navy man, Minister, Church builder, member UPCI 60 years, Pastor {same Church 42 years}, world traveler, Ordained Bishop, and His Article, NIGHT OF CONFLICT; 8 chapters about the last night of World War Two, with Him as a teenage backslider on the USS Wiley, DD597, a Destroyer under attack at 2:30 A.M. by Japanese Zeros and Bombers, at the Island of Okinawa.
Those of you who know him will want to get this book. If you are a Pastor, You will want to get some copies for your members.
Price: $10.00 plus $2.00 mailing, each book. Mailing for more than 1 book will be different.
Send orders to.
Marian June Davis
735 Greenwood Ave
San Bernardino, CA 92407
The World’s Greatest Spousal Insurance Policy!
The World’s Greatest Spousal Insurance Policy!
Today Marcia, my beautiful wife of 45 years, and I were riding down the Turnpike in Tulsa listening to XM Radio’s Enlighten on Channel 34. It’s a Southern Gospel Station. Presently a familiar sounding group came on and I read their name on the player. It confirmed what my ears were hearing.
My mind went back many years. I thought of the times I had been in church services with these people, but those days are now forever gone. They are just distant memories.
They once were Jesus Name, Apostolic. I knew them when the ladies in the group had long uncut hair. They wore no makeup or jewelry back then. The men had good haircuts and no facial hair. Somehow, things changed for them. They left the Oneness people seeking more popularity and acceptance from the Trinitarians. They compromised their beliefs about salvation’s requirements and the God-head in the process.
Along the way, they all met with divorce. Their divorces didn’t draw them back to God or to a place of rededication, but their new spouses helped push them even further away from the old landmarks and from truth.
Thinking on these things, my mind reflected on the history of the city of Bethel in the Bible. It was made famous by Jacob, his dream and his covenant with God. At that time, Bethel was only a flat rock that Jacob used for a pillow that night.
The next time we read about Bethel, it is a place filled with people who did not stay loyal to God. Idols were now very common in Bethel. It even became a headquarters for idolatrous calf worship. In Bethel, of all places!
The prophet Amos said that Bethel would “come to naught.” Amos 5:5. Jeremiah hung his head and said that Israel “was ashamed of Bethel.” Jer. 48:13.
Later, Hosea called Beth-el, (which means the house of God) ‘Beth-aven’ which means a house of adultery.
Thinking on that sad progression from the House of God, to House of Idolatry, and then to House of Adultery, I became deeply bothered in my spirit.
In prayer some years ago, I asked the Lord, “How did Bethel go from idolatry to adultery?”
It was like the Lord dropped this thought into my spirit… “The progression was easy. They’re both fathered by the same spirit, the spirit of unfaithfulness.”
If that’s true, then the greatest insurance policy any of us can give our spouse is to be faithful to God. Because, if we are faithful to God, then we will also be faithful to our spouse! It’s that simple. Are you FAITHFUL to God?
If You Gotta Fight, Fight Fair!
I pray that your Marriage be filled with peace and love. May all of your days include tenderness and sweet nothings. Disagreements may happen, however. So remember, if you have to fight, fight fair!
Apostolic Expository Series
Christy Ballestero (My Beautiful DIL)
http://marciaballestero.com/
Pastor Anthony & Kim Ballestero, New Destiny Worship Center, Clearwater, FL (My Son)
Pastor Bryan & Christy Ballestero, Temple Of Pentecost, Raleigh, NC (My Son)
James Groce Blog – "Toward The Mark"
Kenneth Bow Blog
Kingdom Speak Podcast
Philip Harrelson – "The Barnabas Blog"
Verbal Bean Ministries
Holy Ghost Radio
The Ballestero Blog 