Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category
The Day I Obtained The Favor Of God
The Day I Obtained The Favor Of God
I have precious family members and the dearest of friends whose lives have been greatly pained by a marriage that went bad. I hurt for them and have cried for them and with them. None of us knows when we select a mate, what the future holds. Anyone can choose to go wrong.
Those of us who have loving and faithful spouses sometimes fail to appreciate how good we really have it!
So, I do not write today in an arrogant or boastful manner, nor do I mean to be hurtful to anyone, let alone disrespectful.
I simply write as one who is abundantly thankful to have found a girl who loves God with all of her heart, and who loves me more than words can tell!
So, Let Me Tell You How I Feel About My Marriage!
I feel the day I obtained the ‘favor’ of God was on a Saturday. The weather was perfect, and it was 2 o’clock in the afternoon August 14, 1965. This truly was, and has remained, the most wonderful day in my life! (Besides receiving the Holy Ghost.)
That Was The Day God Gave Me The Best Helpmate In The World!
She Just Happened To Be The Most Beautiful Girl In The World Too!
KJV Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Vine’s Words: ‘Favour’
Ratson, raw-tsone’; from (ratsah); delight (especially as shown) :- (be) acceptable (-ance, -ed), delight, desire, favour, (good) pleasure.
Strong’s Greek & Hebrew Dictionary.
MSG Proverbs 18:22 Find a good spouse, you find a good life— and even more: the favor of GOD!
NLT Proverbs 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.
TLB Proverbs 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds a good thing; she is a blessing to him from the Lord.
Not only Did I Obtain The Favor Of God (KJV) On August 14, 1965…
- I also found a treasure! (The MSG)
- I also found a good spouse! (NLT)
- I also found a good life! (NLT)
- I also received a blessing from the Lord! (TLB)
Matthew Henry Commentary and others are careful to point out the ‘good wife’ part of the passage. In a day when about half of marriages become dissolved, I am blessed to still enjoy the love of my life. Mine, is a ‘good wife.’
Matthew Henry Commentary Proverbs 18:22
1. A good wife is a great blessing to a man. He that finds a wife…that is, a good wife indeed, a jewel of great value, a rare jewel; he has found that which will not only contribute more than any thing to his comfort in this life, but will forward him in the way to heaven.
2. God is to be acknowledged in it with thankfulness; it is a token of his favour, and a happy pledge of further favours; it is a sign that God delights in a man to do him good and has mercy in store for him; for this, therefore, God must be sought unto.
Barnes’ Notes on Proverbs 18:22
The sense seems to require, “Whoso findeth a good wife,” as in some Chaldee manuscripts; but the proverb writer may be looking at marriage in its ideal aspect, and sees in every such union the hands of God joining together man and woman for their mutual good.
This Groom Is Singing The Weddings First Song, To God. “I Want To Thank You.”
Like Me, This Groom Is Indeed Thankful For His Wife.
Happy Valentines Day To Marcia Starr Ballestero, My Life Long Love!
Your consecrated walk with God has brought to our home and to me the blessings and the favor of the Lord.
I will never be able to thank you enough for the great gift you are to me and our children, and our children’s children! You my Dear are the BEST!
I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!
If I Were The Devil
“If I Were the Devil…”
by
Paul Harvey, 1965
I would want to engulf the whole world in darkness. And I would have one-third of the real estate and four-fifths of the population , but I wouldn’t be happy until I had the ripest apple on the tree. So I’d set about, however necessary, to take over the United States get important realtors like burnaby real estate and others to help me win USA and Canada.
I’d subvert the churches first; I’d begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: “Do as you please.”
To the youth I would whisper, “The Bible is a myth.” [our note: I heard this from a humanities instructor when I was in college–a breeding ground for the sowing of wickedness into the minds of those that have to memorize blasphemy in order to pass the course and get out and go past conscience to continue doing what they are told.]
I would convince them that man-made God [our note: in college in a philosophy “class” I was told the lie, “There is no God.” That was a lesson in lies.] instead of the other way around.
I would confide that what’s bad is good and what’s good is “square.”
In the ears of the young married I would whisper that work is debasing [our note: Americans are pleasure-loving people. Some are obese from lack of work meanwhile others pay somebody to mow the grass while they go to the “Fitness Center.” The children sit in school all day and then in front of the tv for hours on end in the midst of broken-down toys and eating processed foods full of refined sugar. The children do not work. They have no skills. The body and mind need to be involved in work. We were not made to be idle. A day of productivity is satisfying to both young and old.], that cocktail parties are good for you.
And to the old I would teach to pray after me: “Our Father, who art in Washington…” [our note: America seems to become more communist by the second.]
And then I’d get organized; I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting, so that everything else would appear dull and uninteresting.
I’d threaten television with dirtier movies and vice versa.
I’d peddle narcotics to whom I could; I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction; I’d tranquillize the rest with pills.
If I were the Devil I’d soon have families at war with themselves, churches at war with themselves, and nations at war with themselves; until each in its turn was consumed. And with promises of higher ratings I’d have mesmerizing media fanning the flames.
If I were the Devil I’d encourage schools to refine young intellects [our note: the schools disrupt and destroy young intellects and parents look on in horror as their children disintegrate before their very eyes. Parents need to REPENT of the sins and BELIEVE on the Lord Jesus Christ and OBEY his word and then they can be saved and rear their children correctly.] but neglect to discipline emotions: let those run wild. Before you know it, you’d have to have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every school-house door. Within a decade I’d have prisons overflowing.
With flattery and promises of power I would get the courts to do what I construe as against God and in favor of pornography.
I’d designate an atheist to front for me before the highest courts and I’d get the preachers to say, “She’s right.” Thus, I could evict God from the courthouse, then from the schoolhouse, and then from the Houses of Congress.
And in His own churches I would substitute psychology for religion and deify science. I would lure priests and pastors into misusing boys, girls, and church money.
If I were the Devil I would make the symbol of Easter [our note: Easter is a pagan festival] an egg and the symbol of Christmas [our note: “Christmas” is a blasphemy] a bottle.
If I were the Devil I’d take from those who have and give it to those who want it, until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious.
What’ll you bet that I couldn’t get whole States to promote gambling as the way to get rich?
I would caution against extremes: in hard work, in patriotism, and in moral conduct.
I would convince the youth that marriage is old-fashioned, but swinging is more fun; that what you see on television is the way to be; and thus I could undress you in public and I could lure you into bed where there are diseases for which there is no cure.
Then I would separate families, putting children in uniform, women in coal mines and objectors in slave-labor camps.
In other words, if I were the Devil, I’d just keep doing what he’s doing.
Do You Know Where You’re Going, When You Go Green?
Do You Know Where You’re Going, When You Go Green?
The signs and slogans are everywhere. Go Green.
That, my friend just might be one of the most dangerous signs you ever obey!
Going Green is promoted to save the environment. Yet, for some it takes on a different meaning. It is much more to them than recycling plastic, glass and paper. They keep looking for greener grass on the other side of every fence.
They think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, and why not? Everyone loves green grass. Green grass is very attractive. Somehow, green has become a symbol of health, wealth, beauty, and comfort. It’s also the illusion of a enjoying a better life.
Americans Spend A Lot Of Money Just To Have Green Grass
Ehow.com says that the average home owner spends between $100 and $400 a month on his yard, depending on the size of the lawn and the company he chooses.
Read more: The Average Cost of Lawn Care | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/facts_5984601_average-cost-lawn care.html#ixzz1zZJwhW2U
We feel that our neighbor’s will judge us by the greenness of our grass. Maybe they do. If so, the solution is simple.
- Water your yard.
- Fertilize it.
- Trim it.
- Pull the weeds out or wack them with a gas powered weed eater.
- Remove the dandelions.
- Trap the gophers.
- It’s your yard. You could make it pretty if you chose to make it pretty.
It may cost you to have green grass. However, it may cost you more if you go looking elsewhere for greener grass. King David found out about that when he looked over the wall and saw Bathsheba.
Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.
Just quit looking and the coveting will stop!
There’s That…
Pastor Tommy Craft’s Office Picture
In the late1980’s, I sat down in Pastor Tommy Craft’s office in Jackson, Mississippi to visit a few minutes before a church service. My eyes were immediately drawn to a large picture of the wall. It was a picture of a beautiful pasture with a fence running through the middle. On each side of the fence was a horse with its neck stretched out trying to eat the grass on the other side. Nothing was actually gained by the horses. The grass was actually the same. They both risked their necks on the barbed wire. The picture was silent reminder to never ignore the green grass under your own feet.
Discontentment
The lack of contentment makes the human eye look elsewhere. Having it, is truly a gift of God. Some possess 
much of this life’s finer things. They have plenty of money in the bank and live a life some would even envy. Yet, they are not content.
They have found out for themselves that King Solomon was right. The eyes of a man are never full. They always want more, so they never stop looking.
That mindset will have much bearing on how long you keep your vehicle, your house, your job and your spouse. It will also determine how long you attend your local church.
Contentment Can, And Must Be Learned
Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation (Manner of Living) be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
1 Timothy 6:8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
What You Don’t Appreciate, Maybe Some One Else Will.
A young woman named Jan complained tearfully to her friend Paula. She told Paula that she was going to dump her boyfriend. Paula agreed that she should dump him. She also said, “Let me know when you drop him, because when you do, I’m going to be there to pick him up.” Jan decided to rethink the situation.
The Desert Of Life Also Has The Mirage Of A Green Oasis.
When you finally struggle to get where the shimmering Oasis is, there will be no green, and there will be no water. You will only be fooled. You saw what you wanted to see. In your desperate struggle for a better life, you have not find satisfaction there. Actually, it is possible that you may wind up more desperate and disillusioned than before. Maybe the green you are looking for, is real… but, only in your mind.
For You, Does Going Green Mean Going For More Money?
I worry about those who only focus on the dollar and not their soul. They might make more money and also 
miss more church. It’s the worst trade off ever. There is no job worth losing your soul over.
We all have heard our share of get rich quick schemes. And we also know of some who have fallen into that trap. Beware!
1 Timothy 6:9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Beneath Some Patches Of Green Grass, Are Septic Tanks
Erma Bombeck entitled one of her books: The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank.
Did anyone ever ask, “Why is the grass greener over there? What makes it so green right there?”
It seems that in polite company, every one tries to ignore the source of the greener grass. But, no matter how much we suppress the truth from our thinking, filth made it greener. That is a fact.
Has sin made the grass greener where you have been looking? It’s possible. Maybe you should ask the “Why” questions about the Green Grass you’ve been looking at.
Lot Chose The Well Watered Plains Of Sodom And Gomorrah
No doubt about it. The grass was greener. It was so green, that it’s magnetism held Lot and his family captive. They actually loved the placed.
It was God who had the problem. Lot felt good about it. He listened to his own carnality. It was God who hated the filth of Sodom. Lot was willing to die there. God had to drag him and his family out.
The attraction was so strong that Lot’s wife died from its attraction. The fruits of his daughters perversion became one of the things God hated most. Their names were Ammon and Moab, the life long enemies of the people of God.
It all started with Lot pitching his tent toward Sodom. It started with Lot looking at the greener grass every day. What are you looking at? In what direction is your tent pitched?
HINT: The Grass Would Be Greener Where You Are Living Right Now, If You Would Just Water It More Often.
One Of The Most Wonderful Gifts A Man Can Give His Children!
One Of The Most Wonderful Gifts A Man Can Give His Children!
It’s not money.
It’s not expensive gifts either.
It’s not giving them all the latest toys and gadgets.
It’s not even giving them a large allowance.
I am not talking about giving your children something that only rich dads can afford. I’m talking about giving your children a gift that every father can give to his children, if only he would.
- The most wonderful gift a man can give his children?
- The answer is simple!
- It’s hanging right there in front of you like the nose on your face!
- You want to know?
- You really want to know?
Love Their Mother!
That’s It! Love Their Mother!
Let your children hear you say something like, “I love you Baby,” to their mom. Then watch them smile approvingly. Let them see you kiss her and hug her. Let them see you brag on her. Kids aren’t dumb. They can tell if you really love their mom.
Let your sons see you be tender with their Mama, and they’ll grow up being tender to their wives too. Let your daughters see how a woman is to be cherished and loved. There not much more you can do to bring peace and comfort to your children, than for them to know they grew up in a love-filled home.
Your house may have cost 100’s of thousands of dollars. But if love was not shown or felt, then all you really have is an expensive daycare center for your children.
Both of my parents have now gone on to be with the Lord. But my father left me many wonderful memories and examples of him openly expressing his love to my mom.
In my mind I can still hear him singing love songs to her that seemed to blurt out of nowhere. Songs like:
- Let Me Call You Sweetheart.
- Sugar In The Morning, Sugar In The Evening, Sugar At Supper Time.
You get the idea. Mom would always smile and walk into his open arms. All of us children would smile and nervously laugh our approval. Sometimes we turned our heads. Sometimes we watched.
Many times I’ve walked into the living room, kitchen or dining room and seen them in a tender embrace. Sure I walked back out, but I saw it! I saw that my dad truly loved my mom. For a little kid or even a big kid, it doesn’t get much better than that.
Do you forget things like that? Absolutely not! You remember it so well, that you do the same things when you get married. Then, you let your children see you be loving and tender to their mother.
If you will do that, you have just increased the odds that your children will grow up knowing the secret of a happy home life. And your grandchildren will grow up in a loving home as well. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
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(Now sir, go tell you wife right now how much you love her, and let your children hear you say it! Wrap your arms around her and give her a big smooch! That’s your homework for tonight. Class dismissed.)
Just Imagine…
Just Imagine…
Just imagine a thoughtless and demanding husband that is married to a wife who caters to his every need. Imagine him sitting relaxed in his little command center, his Lazy-Boy, while he bellows out orders.
- “Hey Pearl, bring me a Diet Coke.”
- “Get me the newspaper.”
- “Did you call Bob like I asked you?”
- “Get the phone will you, I’m busy.”
- “How much longer do I have to wait for supper?”
- “Since you’re up, get my slippers.”
Just imagine a man that constantly makes demands like that on his wife. If she complied willingly and without comment, he’s a most fortunate man.
- Just imagine what she might feel like if he never thanked her for serving him.
- Imagine too what she would think of him if all he ever did was make more demands and never took time to talk to her or say sweet words of affection to her.
- Imagine what future the relationship would have if the man said, I don’t really have time to talk to you, I just need you to do what I asked you to do.
Some wives might be content to be in a relationship like that, but I have never met them yet. A loving relationship is not a one-way street.
Then There Is The Flip Side Of That Problem.
Imagine a demanding wife that is married to husband who she expects to cater to her every need.
- Her Honey-Do-List never ends.
- Her requests are only for her benefit.
- She nags him if she doesn’t get what she wants, when she wants it.
- She feels like he doesn’t love her unless he is always giving to her and doing things for her.
- His needs are not even on her radar screen.
- She has no time to just talk to him.
- He can’t remember when she last said, “I love you.”
- Her world is only focused on her own happiness.
What A Mess! I Can’t Imagine Living Like That!
I don’t know who would ever want to enter into any kind of relationship such as this. How could their life’s story have a happy ending? What future do they have? It’s a world without love!
Yet That Is Exactly The Spiritual Relationship Many Of Us Have With The Lord.
- The only time we talk to Him is to make more demands.
- Our prayers are only to ask for more.
- We ask for healing.
- We ask for finances.
- We ask for housing, transportation and employment.
- We ask for blessings for ourselves.
- And yes… We are invited to ask. But…
- We never just take the time to say, “Thank You Jesus.”
- We are too busy to just stop and ‘chit-chat’ with Him.
- We find ourselves so busy asking for more favors that we almost never stop to say, “Have I told You today Jesus, that I love You?”
What’s The Chances Of Our ‘Relationship’ With God Lasting Very Long?
- Actually, I am afraid it sounds one-sided.
- It doesn’t sound like much of a relationship.
- If it were a marriage, it might soon go on the rocks.
So, Where Is Our Walk With God Headed?
Just Imagine…
Just Imagine a husband been separated from his wife and writing over five dozen letters to her. Imagine the wife taking the unopened letters from the mailman and stacking them on the coffee table for all to see. Just imagine her never reading the letters from her husband. Imagine her thinking, “How precious of him to write, but reading his letters is boring to me.”
Imagine the two of them talking on the phone from time to time and him realizing by the things she says and doesn’t say, that she has not been reading any of his letters. Now what?
Absurd as it may sound, it happens everywhere, everyday. We have letters and epistles written to us. Although cherished by us all, The Holy Bible remains unread, and untouched. It is placed on the coffee table for others to see. But many of us will die, never reading what He wrote just to us. Now what?
Just imagine what our life would be like if we told the Lord several times a day that we loved Him, and not just asked for something every time we prayed.
Just imagine what our life would be like if we read the letters He wrote to us and got to know Him better.
Just imagine knowing Him in His fullness.
Just Imagine!
The Unwanted Girls
The Unwanted Girls
The news story told of 285 young Indian girls that had chosen new names.
“Nakusa” or “Nakushi” (two variations of the Hindu word meaning “unwanted”) were among the names abandoned in an effort to promote their self-worth.
“Now in school, my classmates and friends will be calling me this new name, and that makes me very happy,” a 15-year-old girl told the AP after the ceremony. The teenager was formerly named Nakusa by her disappointed grandfather, but chose to be called “Ashmita,” which translates to “very tough” in Hindi.”
Girls hold certificates stating their new official names during a renaming ceremony in Satara, India, Saturday, Oct. 22, 2011. Almost 300 Indian girls known officially as "Unwanted" have traded their birth names for a fresh start in life
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Reading this story made me very sad. Their culture devalues women. An unborn baby girl might well be aborted if the parents knew its gender. It’s heart breaking to me. The very thought, is unthinkable in my family.
I have been blessed more than most men to have been surrounded all my life by loving and amazing women. Their lives are blessed of God. My life has been blessed to the highest level because of them.
In my family, the women and girls are cherished, and loved. They are also respected, listened to, and honored. I always want them to know that!
Each of the married women love and honor their husbands and treat them like kings. No wonder each husband finds it easy to treat his wife like a queen and cherish her.
The daughters love and honor their fathers. They treat him with great respect. They in turn are loved and doted on. They have never felt unwanted, but rather are treated as if they were a princess.
The same is true for all the grand daughters.
It would be a near impossibility to find a family that loves it’s women more than the Ballestero family loves theirs.
With all of the above in mind, today I wish to stop and honor the women in my world.
I want to tell all of you that I love you, I honor you, and I cherish you, and I am proud of you. You all have me forever wrapped around your little fingers. I have you wrapped around my heart.
You are so gifted and talented. You are:
- Singers
- Song Writers
- Musicians
- Music Teachers
- Choir Leader
- Speakers
- Writers
- Authors
- School Teachers
- Recording Artists
- Artistic
- Designers
- Business Owners
- Leaders
- Beautiful
- Loving
- Nurturing
- Tender
- intelligent
- The Best Cooks In The World.
- The Best Mothers In The World.
- The Best Wives In The World.
- And… You really love the Lord.
- (This list could go on awhile…)
You might often be embarrassed by me, but you will never be unwanted! I love you and pray God richest blessings on you in all you do! There will never be such a thing as an unwanted girl in my family!
Let me show my readers a picture or two of why I am such a blessed man!
My Mom, Mother-in-law, Wife, Daughter, Daughters-in-law, Grand Daughters, Sisters, Sisters-in-law and Nieces are shown below. Besides all these, there are my wonderful cousins, close friends and “adopted” family members.
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- My Mother – Content Faith Ballestero
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- My Mother
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- My “Other” Mother – Marian June Davis
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- Mom Davis
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- My Wife – Marcia Starr Ballestero
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- Marcia & Marty Ballestero
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- My Daughter – Marisa Ballestero Hartzell
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- Pastor Brandon & Marisa Hartzell
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- My DIL – Kim Elrod Ballestero
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- Pastor Anthony & Kim Ballestero
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- My DIL – Christy Huntley Ballestero
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- Pastor Bryan & Christy Ballestero
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- My DIL – Courtney Phebus Ballestero
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- Pastor Martyn II & Courtney Ballestero
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- My DIL – Jasmine Robinson Ballestero
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- Andy & Jasmine Ballestero
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- Grand Daughter – Kalyx Ballestero
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- Grand Daughter – Christyana Ballestero
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- Grand Daughter – Chloe Ballestero
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- Grand Daughter – Ainsley Hartzell
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- Sister – Beverly Anne Ballestero
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- Sister – Carlene Branham
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- Sister – Ramona Yandris
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- Pastor Nathan & Ramona Yandris
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- Sister – Nila Marxer
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- Rev. Eric & Nila Marxer
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- My SIL – Alexa Starr Olson
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- Pastor Rick & Alexa Olson
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- My SIL – Rebecca Starr Trammell
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- Pastor David & Rebecca Trammell
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- My SIL – Priscilla Starr Spears
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- Pastor Curtis & Priscilla Spears
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- My SIL – Sara Starr Copple
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- Pastor Tom & Sara Copple
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- Pastor Royce & Step-SIL Glenna Davis Walker
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- Carlene, Nila, Ramona, seated – Martyn
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- Priscilla, Mom Davis, Marcia, Alexa, Rebecca, Sara
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- Niece – Stacy Branham
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- Niece – Elisha Yandris
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- Niece – Erica Marxer
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- Niece – Shauna Olson
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- Niece – Elizabeth Olson
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- Niece – Lindsay & Aaron Olson
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- Niece – Farrah Trammell Erwin
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- Niece – Heidi Trammell
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- Niece – Britt Spears
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- Niece – Charity Spears
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- Niece – Natalie Spears Colegrove
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- Niece – Michelle Hutchison
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- Niece – Sharayah Copple
Every One Of These Ladies Are Wanted!!
It don’t get any better than this. I, my friend, am a blessed man!
Playing Out Of Bounds
Playing Out Of Bounds
There have always been boundaries. Some of them God established and some of them common sense put in place. There are reasons for boundaries.
Boundaries in life are like guard rails. Every highway needs them at some point. Everyone’s flesh is weak. Quit arguing that yours isn’t. That in itself is a good reason for boundaries.
Boundaries are put in place to protect you and your good name. Your reputation is all that you have. Never let your good be evil spoken of.
A man does not have integrity because he made boundaries. He set those boundaries for himself because he has integrity.
Personal boundaries are what define your identity. Your family and friends know you well enough to know how you would respond to each situation. They count on you because they know you have set boundaries for yourself.
They’re like the property lines around a home. Yet, no one has had their property re-surveyed just because they have a 16-year-old in the house. Boundaries don’t change with the weather. They are like moral landmarks. They should never be changed or altered.
Every Nation Has Boundaries
- Every nation defends its borders vigorously.
- Ignoring the boundaries of any nation will lead to arrest and deportation.
Every Sport Has A Boundary
In sports, the referee blows a whistle and declares to everyone when you have gotten out-of-bounds.- Baseball calls it a foul ball.
- Football and Basketball says a player was out-of-bounds.
- If you want to stay in the game and not be penalized, stay within the boundaries.
God Set Natural Boundaries
The Sea
- God set boundaries to the sea, saying thus far shall ye come and no more.
- Prov 8:29 (NIV) When he gave the sea its boundary so the waters would not overstep his command, and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.
God Set Spiritual Boundaries
The Tree In The Garden
God set boundaries in the very beginning. He told Adam and Eve they could enjoy everything they could see and touch, except one thing; the tree of life. That tree was God’s. It was out-of-bounds to them.
The first thing Satan did was to question the boundaries. He asked, “Hath God said…?” That’s how Satan started out with man, and he’s never stopped.
He makes man ask himself, “How could it be wrong when it looks so good and feels so right?” The devil can’t wait for us to step out-of-bounds.
Boundaries In Relationships
Married – Married Boundaries
I asked that the men in the church I pastored to be careful. When they called the house of a brother and his wife answered. I asked them to say, “Praise the Lord” to her. That helps keep the conversation on a spiritual level.
Solomon instructed men to focus on their wife and not someone else’s. He said, “You’ve got your own cistern to refresh and nourish you. Don’t go to the neighbor’s house for a drink.”
Prov. 5:15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
Job wouldn’t look at another woman. He set an important boundary for himself.
Job 31:1 I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?
Dating
When I showed romantic interest in my wife Marcia, her father, Pastor William R. Starr took me aside for a man-to-man talk. He said, “When a couple dates, it’s the man who should know when to draw the line. It’s the man who should know what boundaries not to cross.”
No one wants their daughter to be courted by a young man who has no boundaries or understands some areas are off-limits.
Neither does a parent wish for their son to be alone with a girl who has no lines she is afraid to cross.
Babies are being born out-of-wedlock because either no one set a boundary or no one paid attention to it. Disregarding boundaries always lead to pain and regret.
Those Without Boundaries Do Not Fear God!
Singles – Marrieds
Facebook has become a worldwide communications phenomenon. Pentecostals have taken full advantage of its availability. In most part, it’s for the good.
All its interaction is enjoyable and fun until someone crosses the line. The bad news is that everyone on Facebook then sees him or her as they show the world how void their life is of boundaries.
- Why would a single girl keep commenting on a married man’s page?
- Why would a single guy make constant comments on a married woman’s page?
- They refuse to recognize boundaries in their life. They also refuse to set them.
- It’s dangerous.
- It is hazardous to a marriage.
- It’s explosive.
- It’s wrong.
Things can get out of line quickly. I recommend against playing even innocent games like Words With Friends between members of the opposite sex. It causes way too much familiarity. Be very afraid.
- I also can find no occasion for chitchat texting between members of the opposite sex.
- Why would a child of God have email addresses on their computer that they know are out of line and serve no spiritually productive purpose?
- Surely there are no cell phone numbers of a single or married member of the opposite sex on your phone. Or of a single or married member of the opposite sex, if you are married.
- Nothing good will come of it if you are guilty. You are playing with fire.
Dress
This is a day of no boundaries or limits in dress. Carnal people do not want standards.
Sadly, many beautiful young ‘Pentecostal’ ladies have been seen parading around camp meetings and conferences lately with their dresses several inches above their knees.
What happened at home? Where’s Mom? Where’s Dad? Where are the boundaries of dress? Why haven’t they let modesty set a boundary of dress for them?
With all of the above being said, I thank God for every person, young and old that has boundaries in their life. That let God’s Word order their steps. That realize Boundaries are not made to hurt anyone. They are put in place to keep everyone safe.
Boundaries… Don’t Leave Home Without Them!
Boundaries…Don’t Get On The Internet Without Them!
Thank You For Keeping A Smile On My Face For 46 Years!
I’ve been in love with Marcia June Starr Ballestero since November 29,1964. Although it was 17,060 days ago, I remember that day very well. It was the Sunday night after Thanksgiving. That was the day my heart decided there was no one else in the world for me, but her. My heart was right.
I absolutely fell head over heels in love with the girl. I love her ageless beauty. I am forever enamored with the sound of her voice. I could listen to her chatter for hours. She is my favorite singer in the whole world. Her practical wisdom has benefited our marriage too many times to count. Her children call her blessed, her grandchildren adore her, and I can’t imagine my life without her being the center of it. She still makes me beam from ear to ear when she calls me Honey.
I am so very proud to show her off in public. I delight in her company. There’s still not enough hours in the day when we are together. Her loving and tender words continue to melt my heart and turn it into mush. I’m more in love with her today, even after 46 years. Her beauty and charm still turns my head!
Some have heard me call her Sister Honey, and others have heard me call her Sugar Booger. For Forty Six years, I’ve had the great honor of calling her my wife. I still call her Baby.
We said ‘I Do’ on August the 14th 1965. Besides the day I received the gift of the Holy Ghost, marrying her was by far, the greatest day of my life.
That’s 16,802 days of married bliss, or:
- 1,451,692,800 seconds
- 24,194,880 minutes
- 403,248 hours
- 2400 weeks (rounded down)
She has voluntarily made me the King of her world and treated me accordingly. I have made her the Queen of my life. No one is like her. No one comes close. She is altogether lovely. She’s the Best!
She has held my hand, and walked faithfully through life beside me. She has been my constant support and life’s greatest pleasure. She has never complained about the hardships of our life, and ‘made do’ when there wasn’t much money to ‘do’ with. I will always be in her debt.
She sacrificed her health and placed her life on the line to give us five wonderful children that have made us both grateful to God and proud.
Marcia! Thank you for all you have done for me and for our family over the years. Thank you for every sacrifice you made in raising our family and keeping our home. Thank you for never nagging or being critical. Thank you for being so loving! You are amazing indeed!
Martyn & Marcia Ballestero
Thank you too my Darling, for keeping a smile on my face for 46 years! I Love You With All My Heart!
Happy 46th Anniversary!
Marty
I’m Very Sorry He Married Her!
I’m Very Sorry He Married Her!
“Hey Benjamin. Did you go to King Solomon’s wedding today?” He married the daughter of King Hiram, someone told me.”
“No sir, I didn’t go. I wasn’t invited and I’m very sorry he married her!
“He seems to be getting married two or three times a month now as it is. I can’t keep up with it all. If he continues to marry at this rate, he’ll probably have a 1,000 wives and concubines by the time he’s done. What makes me sad is that each new wife seems to be worse than the last one.”
“Hush,” the Father said! “If the King hears what you are saying about him, he’ll have both of our necks. It’s treason to talk like that. Don’t ever let anyone else hear you say this. You are very sorry he married her?”
“Father, you haven’t seen the idols around Jerusalem that King Solomon has built lately. I wish you could. It’s wrong. These heathen brides have influenced our King for evil. They have led his heart away from the Lord.”
“Son, I can barely walk now as it is and have been sick these many years. I have not seen what you have seen and this news distresses me sore.”
“Father, we are Levities. It is our duty under God to preserve the Law of God and keep his commandments. We love it and it’s our life. It is to be the life and the love of our children and our children’s children too.”
“Benjamin, you are a faithful son and I am blessed of God that you are daily serving Him in the Temple. My heart is saddened that our King is not serving the Lord, as did his Father David. I pray that God protect our people from going astray as well.”
“Me too Father. Some of the other Levites and myself have been quietly talking of the changes we see. We are distressed. We have seen these new idols and we know that God is not happy either. Here is what has happened lately.”
“King Solomon has recently built a high place for Chemosh right here close to the Temple. What was he thinking? The worshipers of Chemosh even offer child sacrifices. Our sons and daughters will be offered. He is flaunting this before our faces. He is daring us to criticize his deeds.
“The King has loved many strange women. He married the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, Hittites and others. It’s just wrong. His desire for more women is never satisfied.
“He doesn’t even ask them to convert. He marries them just like they are. They convert him, and he’s the wisest man I know. He’s not thinking right when it comes to women.
“They all come with their jewelry, their ornaments and their ungodly customs of dress and attire. Their faces are all painted up. Some even have marks made upon their skin unto their gods of impurity.
“He has gone after Ashtoreth as well. You know, the fertility goddess. She is almost always joined with Baal worship. Immoral deeds are committed in public. Our children see this. The young women that refuse to be defiled in it’s worship and want to remain virgins are forced to pass through the fires of Molech and be sacrificed. How can these things be in Israel? How could this happen here?
The Ammonites and the Moabites are cursed of God. Even those that are proselytes cannot enter into the Temple for 10 generations. Yet the King marries them and brings their gods to Jerusalem. What can we do? We are but servants in the House of the Lord. He is the King.
“The women he has married of the Edomites are Esau’s children. They are despisers of the birthright. The family of the man God hated. Yet the King thinks they are beautiful and marries them with only his pleasure in mind.
“The women of the Zidonians he has married, worship Ashtoreth, the Hittite women are almost lawless, and anything goes with them. They only have a handful of things that they even consider wrong. They are a lawless people by nature.
“The other Levites say that they seldom ever see the King come near the Temple any more. But they see him visiting the High Places of these idols with his heathen wives. It’s an abomination unto the Lord.
“The sacrifices at the Temple have been down lately. Some of the people are following after the King’s example and are worshiping in the high places too, rather than at the Temple.
“Even Nathan the Prophet doesn’t come to see him much that I know of. Maybe he thinks himself above the law of God. Maybe he thinks he can do all this and his heart not be turned aside. But, he is wrong, Father. It’s already happened.
“Our beloved King has somehow forsaken every precept and every commandment of the law that he put in our hearts. He told us how to live and now he is not living it himself. Now, he has forsaken the old paths. It’s only a matter of time before our people Israel will follow in his steps. Our people are in a fearful place, Father.”
“My son, Job said that great men are not always wise. I weep today because I cannot change the heart of my King. Only he can make the choice to change. I pray we will be not punished of God and scattered among the heathen. I pray that the Name of the Lord be not lost among us forever.”
“Me too Father.”
“Years ago when I was able to serve in the Temple, one of the other Levites gave me a copy of some of the proverbs the King had written. Let me read you some of them.
Proverbs 2:16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.
18 For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead.
19 None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.
Proverbs 5:1 My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:
2 That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
3 For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
4 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
Proverbs 22:14 The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein.
“How can he write things like that Father, and the do what he said not to so?”
“I do not know. He also wrote in another book he calls Ecclesiastes, ‘Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.”
“My son, if an unknown Israelite had married a gentile, that would be bad enough. It would not have the blessings of God upon it at all. It is being unequally yoked together and God is against that.
“But if this unknown Israelite did marry, he would not have by himself caused all Israel to sin by accepting and praising his deed. To hear that our King is doing this so openly tells me his mind is made up, and no one can change him.”
“I agree, I hear that many lords in the Kingdom are praising his new bride and telling the King that they are happy for him. That he deserves to have happiness in his life and that if she gives that to him, then they are happy for him. they’ve all lost their fear of God.
“May God help us all!
“Now when I say, “God save the King, I say it with more meaning than ever.”
“Son, my heart’s desire and my prayer to God is for Israel, that they may be saved. Kings can rise no higher than their wives allow them to. Yet the King has sinned and will not be blameless before the Lord. May God keep us all safe from such ungodly leadership and influence.
†††
1Kings 11:5 For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites.
1Kings 11:7 Then did Solomon build an high place for Chemosh, the abomination of Moab, in the hill that is before Jerusalem, and for Molech, the abomination of the children of Ammon.
1Kings 11:1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;
1Kings 11:3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.
1Kings 11:4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
Young Person, Is That The Best Deal You Could Make?
Young Person, Is That The Best Deal You Could Make?
- Some People are just awful in Business.
- It’s just not their nature to bargain, barter, or make a good deal.
- They always seem to get cheated.
- They always lose money when they sell things.
- Others easily take advantage of them.
Imagine Then:
- Selling an heirloom at a yard sale for $1.00.
- Being happy to unload a treasure, at a give-a-way price, then get pressured to take $.50 and do.
- Later, you find out the real value and you are ashamed of your own stupidity!
- You realize you acted like you were an Idiot!
- You sold it too cheap!
- You’ll spend your life with that regret.
- You didn’t make the Best Deal You Could Make!
- Did you think you would never find another buyer? (Was it Seller’s Panic?)
- Basically, it looks like you were willing to give it away, or you didn’t care.
- To YOU it had no value, because you placed none upon it.
- Was it because you don’t know the value or worth of your possessions?
- How can you possess something for years and be clueless of its value?
- If you inherited something, you may or may not be sure of its value.
- That’s why you could always get an appraisal, or even a second opinion.
- You take what you have to a knowledgeable party and say:
- Tell me what it’s worth?
- Is this junk or real.
- An Heirloom or Trash?
- Then you believe what they said and never settle for less.
- Treat yourself the same way
What Am I Talking About? The Value Of You!!
- You.
- The Value Of You.
- The Business of You on the Open Market.
- And what worries me is that You may be settling for give-a-way price.
- If so, YOU must not have any respect for yourself.
- Or any hopes you have of ever doing much for God.
- Because you were willing to place an Heirloom in the same basket as the Trash.
- Too blinded by the flesh, to see the value of God’s gift (call) in your life.
I’m Always Amazed At Good Boys And Girls Settling For Spouses With:
- No spirituality.
- No personality.
- No signs of the Holy Ghost.
- No common ground but fleshly desire.
And I Say To Myself. “Was That The Best Deal You Could Make?”
- “Why didn’t you go to your Pastor and get an appraisal?”
- “ And then, believed him?”
- “Why didn’t you go to your Parents and get an appraisal?”
- “And then believed them?”
The Body’s Skin Is Only The Wrapping Of The Present.
- Only an idiot would so fall in love with the wrapping, that they never want to open the gift and see what is on the inside.
- It’s what’s on the inside that is of value.
- Shallow people fall in love with the wrapping and not what’s inside.
You Look In The Mirror, And…
- All you see of yourself is a nose you don’t like.
- Ears that somehow are all wrong to you.
- Zits that you just know will turn off the world.
- A Shape or Build that’s far from pleasing in your eyes.
- So you feel that because you are, for the moment unhappy with the wrapping, you think the inside must not be worth much either.
- So you De-value yourself.
- That’s the first step towards making a bad Business Deal in life.
- Settling for some Carnal Companion for a Marriage Partner.
- Settling for someone who is very wrong for you.
- I ask again, Was That The Best Deal You Could Make?
- I wish I could get you to believe that: “You are someone very special!”
Hey guys, if all you are interested in is a girls dress size, then that may be all you ever get. If you marry just for the wrapping, you might be disappointed with the present. But if you look deeper and marry what’s inside, you’ll not be sorry.
- What makes a person of Value & Worth settle for someone who is shallow and empty? (You are deceived if you think you will help them grow in God. Let them mature and grow in God first and then consider marriage.)
- What makes a person of Value marry some sorry outfit that won’t work and just sits at home plays his Sony Play Station or Xbox 360 all day and night?
- What makes a person of Value marry someone who is half Psycho? Was that the Best Deal they could make? Surely not.
- What makes a person of Value marry someone who would rather do drugs than live for God?
Maybe you’re in a small home missions church and you love God. But there are just not many boys in your church. You get desperate and feel like you are running out of chances to get married, so you grab the first person who smiles at you. Regardless if they are in church or out. Regardless if they are on fire for God or not. Don’t think you will marry them and then fix them or get them saved. The odds are against you.
What makes a person of Value meet some carnal Quail-head at a Conference or Camp, and fall for them. Then marry and leave a Great church to go to some dried up excuse for one. Their soul will not doubt dry up too, just because they thought this is the best they could do.
In my opinion, it’s better to be an old maid wishing you could get married, than to be a married woman wishing you were an old maid. It would be better to be a bachelor on fire for God, than to marry someone who will drag you out of church. Why would anyone want to spend the rest of his or her life saying, “Come on honey, go to church with me tonight. Pleeeeeze?”
God’s plan for your life involves great things for you and for His Kingdom. Don’t go hormonal stupid and mess up what Heaven has in store for you!
Let Me Talk About The Parents For A Minute!
Isaac and Rebecca set helplessly by as their son threw away his future and married women that brought grief to their hearts. Sadly, it still is happening today.
(Gen 26:34) And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite:
(Gen 26:3V) Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.
They were grieved because they knew Esau could have made a better deal and didn’t. But then again, this is the same man who made a bad deal in trading his birthright for a bowl of beans. Some people never seem to catch on.
I just happen to be the proud father of the most beautiful daughter in the world who is just as beautiful on the inside. She is married to a great pastor that makes my heart proud as well. They are a wonderful couple that brings great joy to our family and me.
When my daughter Marisa was still single and living at home, it was not uncommon for young men to travel long distances just to come and see her. Pretty girls are worth seeing. They all hoped for a chance to win her affection. She did a good job filtering out the bad ones. (She got that gift and her good looks from her Mama.)
One time though, I didn’t give my daughter a chance to say no to a potential suitor. As the father, I became the filter and her personal defender.
She was about eighteen when a knock came on our front door one day. I opened the door and was very surprised. I did not know the young man, nor had I seen him before. Neither had I ever heard him mentioned.
It looked like someone had set a bowl on top of his head and mowed around it leaving a black thick thatch of hair on top. He had a pierced lip, nose and an earring. His tongue was pierced too. His clothes looked soiled.
I nodded and said hello.
He gamely smiled and said, “Is Marisa Home.”
I looked him up and down real slow letting the smile leave me face. Then I looked him in the eye and with my no-nonsense voice I said, “Not to you, she’s not.)
The look of shock was still on is face when I closed the door.
Don’t even think about telling me I was rude or impolite. I am a Father. A Father’s job is to protect his family.
You don’t raise a daughter up to the age of eighteen and then throw her away to the first pair of britches that comes by. Neither do you raise up a son and throw him to the first skirt that rustles in his direction. Furthermore, you don’t let them throw themselves away either.
If all they hear from mom and dad is criticism and negativity about themselves, they may not value themselves very much either. You may have just set up your own child to make a bad deal in life.
Be thankful to God if your child is a good son or daughter. Brag on them, encourage them, guide them without nagging or harshness. Love them into making the right choices. Validate their achievements and right choices with praise.
Young Person. God did something special when He made you. Believe it, and never settle for anyone that would keep you from being what God meant you to be. His hand is on your life. Don’t take it off.
Apostolic Expository Series
Christy Ballestero (My Beautiful DIL)
http://marciaballestero.com/
Pastor Anthony & Kim Ballestero, New Destiny Worship Center, Clearwater, FL (My Son)
Pastor Bryan & Christy Ballestero, Temple Of Pentecost, Raleigh, NC (My Son)
James Groce Blog – "Toward The Mark"
Kenneth Bow Blog
Kingdom Speak Podcast
Philip Harrelson – "The Barnabas Blog"
Verbal Bean Ministries
Holy Ghost Radio
The Ballestero Blog 