Archive for the ‘Romance’ Category
When One Part Of Your Brain Hijacks The Other!
When One Part Of Your Brain Hijacks The Other!
Quite a few years ago, I was told about a new book and curiosity made me want to read it. The problem was, I was a little short of cash and not sure I wanted to spend what I had on a book instead of eat lunch.
I stopped by our local Barnes & Nobles Bookstore and asked the lady if they had the book, Emotional 
Intelligence in stock. They did, so I looked at it a few minutes and then found a nice easy chair and began to scan the pages for a bit longer. I read about fourteen pages and then I laid the book down and began to ponder on what I had just learned. I’ve never forgotten.
The premise put forward was that we all have two brains. (I was glad to find that out. I have been told I didn’t even have one.)
The author said that we each have a brain that thinks and a brain that feels. Our life may be at peace and functioning well, but turmoil, pain and great consequences come to us when one of our brains hijacks the other.
He Explained It By Describing Murders And Murderers.
The Brain That Thinks
The brain that thinks can get out of balance and push all emotions and normal feelings aside. It will then ignore every soft and tender thought the person ever had.
- He feels his mind is superior and he won’t get caught.
- He refuses to think about regrets and the pain he will cause.
- He devises ways to lure, entrap, and murder his victims.
Society uses the term Cold Blooded, Premeditated Murder, with Malice Aforethought.
Serial Killers must plan, calculate and orchestrate their dastardly deeds while ignoring every emotion that would stop them. Their brain that thinks hijacks the brain that feels. Society is very happy to lock that person behind bars for the rest of their life. They experience no remorse.
The Brain That Feels
The brain that feels can become so overwrought with painful emotion that it takes matters into it’s own hands and goes into what it believes is an appropriate action.
A loving wife may find her husband in the arms of another and her brain that feels immediately hijacks the brain that thinks.
- She is not worried about consequences.
- She hasn’t got time, in her mind, to worry about the law.
- She can only think about the hurt she feels.
We call it a crime of passion. It was a spur of the moment action. Nothing was preplanned. Sometimes juries have been a bit understanding and even lenient in such cases.
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When A Husband Is Unfaithful To His Wife.
The part of his brain that thinks, has to ignore and hijack the brain that feels. Unfaithfulness is not a spur of the moment action.
The brain that thinks hijacks the brain that feels and he convinces himself that he is no longer in love with his spouse. He says, he doesn’t love her anymore and hasn’t for some time. He tells her that to prepare her for what’s to come. He finds illogical fault with her to justify himself.
She is devastated and angry, and rightly so. The children quickly notice changes in daddy’s behavior and they become defensive of their mother and afraid of this man they loved.
Think about the all the emotional, logical, and spiritual Stop Signs and Road Blocks an unfaithful husband must pass before he arrives at where he thinks he wants to go.
- Permitting thoughts about another woman to have access into mind.
- Letting those thoughts become lustful and pleasurable.
- Creating a moment where the two of them can actually meet and talk.
- Making plans to meet again.
- Making plans to leave and divorce his wife.
- Ignoring the fact that he has no Bible right to leave his wife for another.
- The sending of Text Messages.
- The Emails back and forth.
- The secret Cell Phone calls.
- Then Deleting those Messages and Emails.
- The actual clandestine meeting.
- Touching her for the first time.
- The first kiss.
- The Motel.
Look how many stop sign he has to ignore. Look how many roadblocks he must step over. It’s pre-meditated. It’s planned. The brain that thinks has hijacked the brain that once felt love for his wife and family.
Nothing about unfaithfulness is accidental. It’s planned. It thought out. The brain that feels for God, family, and future has just been hijacked.
It makes no difference if the unfaithfulness is emotional or actual… it’s sin and it’s wrong.
Matthew 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
When his brain that thinks hijacked his brain that feels… He had to ignore every hurt and pain in his wife’s eyes, words and heart. He had to ignore the consequences for his actions. He had to ignore the damage he was doing to his home and his children.
- He had to push aside the loss of his standing with God.
- He had to ignore the loss of his participation in God’s Kingdom.
- He had to be willing to place his eternal salvation in jeopardy.
He had to arrive at a place that made him not think about how much he was throwing away.
He now had a new infatuation and he could not think about anything else but her; not even her husband or her children.
He must be proud of the fact that he is a thinker and has a high IQ. In his own mind, he is smarter than the others who are crying. He refuses to let any emotional connection with his own wife and children stop him from achieving his goals. They have only become baggage and now he wants to be free from them.
Although He Knows These Passages In Proverbs, He Totally Ignores Them.
Proverbs 6:23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:
Proverbs 6:24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Proverbs 6:26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Proverbs 6:27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
Proverbs 6:28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
Proverbs 6:29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.
Proverbs 6:30 Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry;
Proverbs 6:31 But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house.
Proverbs 6:32 But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
Proverbs 6:33 A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
Proverbs 6:34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
Proverbs 6:35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.
Proverbs 7:27 Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.
When a husband becomes unfaithful. He is not the only one now with a problem. His selfish thinking and actions have immobilized all those around him that love him. His marriage is paralyzed and may never be restored. His children will never respect him for the way he selfishly walked out on them and their mother.
Later in moments of reflection, he is prone to think he is the only one who needs counseling and help. That thinking is either being naïve, stupid or stubborn. AA and Al-Anon both include the addict and their family in the process. What one person did, now has become a problem for all those who once loved him.
Where Does One Turn To For Guidance And Help With Improper Thinking?
There Is Not Much Hope For Restoration To A Once Godly Marriage Or To Having A Sound Mind Again, If God And His Word Are Left Out Of The Equation. Restoration Is Of The Lord.
Psalms 16:7 I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
AMP: Psalm 16:7 I will bless the Lord, Who has given me counsel; yes, my heart instructs me in the night seasons.
If one of your brains has hijacked the other, God will bring release and restoration to your mind if you will turn to Him. He will deliver you. Refusing God’s intervention will only set you up for more devil’s play.
Sir: If There Is To Be ANY Hope Of Restoration In Your Marriage And In Your Walk With God, It’s Up To You To:
- Choose to repent to God, your wife, and pastor.
- Choose to let God’s Word and God’s man guide you into complete restoration.
- Choose to love your wife with all your heart.
- Choose to reassure her.
- Choose to be careful about your thoughts, feeling and interaction with the opposite sex.
- Choose to clear yourself from further suspicion.
- Choose to connect with your wife, family and God like you never have before.
- Choose to live for God and not throw your soul away.
May The Lord God guide your thoughts, your actions, and your motives every day and keep you from all evil and iniquity. May your heart tenderly guide you in all the night seasons.
Now Go Do The Right Thing!
Shouldn’t Porn Viewers Be Called Adulterers Too?
Shouldn’t Porn Viewers Be Called Adulterers Too?
God chose to create a helpmate that would be most desirable in the eyes of Adam. He succeeded and did a perfect job in the creation of Eve.
The plan was for man and woman to live together in a bond that was secure from sensual influences outside of the sanctity of their marriage. They each were given power over the others emotions and senses.
1Cor 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
When we step out of the safety of our house to go to work, for example, we no doubt will soon see someone of the opposite gender. For most men, it is a non-event that is completely ignored. No untoward stimuli is involved in their public observations.
For others, the looking is what triggers a chain of events that makes them vulnerable for a horrible downfall. They ogle and allow their mind and their thoughts to join in creating an ungodly fantasy.
When Jesus told His hearers, that when a man looked longingly upon a woman other than his wife, he was guilty of adultery in his heart.
Matt 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Unlike our generation, no one listening to the sermon Jesus preached that day ever heard of the word porn or pornography. They 
understood clearly though that improperly looking upon a woman was not pleasing to God.
Hotel staff members tell me their highest room porn rentals of the year (on the room’s TV) is during men’s conferences and youth conferences. God help!
Today, with all the promotion of books, magazines and the Internet, experiencing adultery in the heart, is at an all time high… even in the privacy of your own home, since you can find online sites as www.snapchatnudes.net that have adult pictures online.
If what Jesus said is applied to the current porn industry, then it is possible to never see the ‘actress’ live and in real life, and yet watch her online and be guilty of adultery in your heart.
Why is it that those who are known to view pornography are not called adulterers? Isn’t that what they are?
If porn viewers are guilty of adultery, then they need to repent for that. Sir, please carefully guard yourself, your home, your relationship with your wife, and your eternal future. It quickly becomes an addiction that may possibly lead to, or accompany your moral failure.
Repentance (confessing) is the first step. Is the spirit of adultery in your heart? It doesn’t have to stay there. Forsaking is the next step you must take. Then, thirdly, I recommend a good old-fashioned praying through! Accountability will help keep you and your wife safe.
- The Repentance,
- Forsaking and a
- Renewing of the Holy Ghost is imperative!
- Make yourself accountable.
The Psalmist prayed, ‘Create in me a clean heart.’ That should be the prayer of every man who desires to make heaven his home, and his home a heaven.
Now, get up from your computer and go spend some time showing attention to that beautiful bride you pledged your ‘I Do’ to!!
You Won’t Be Sorry!
One Of The Most Wonderful Gifts A Man Can Give His Children!
One Of The Most Wonderful Gifts A Man Can Give His Children!
It’s not money.
It’s not expensive gifts either.
It’s not giving them all the latest toys and gadgets.
It’s not even giving them a large allowance.
I am not talking about giving your children something that only rich dads can afford. I’m talking about giving your children a gift that every father can give to his children, if only he would.
- The most wonderful gift a man can give his children?
- The answer is simple!
- It’s hanging right there in front of you like the nose on your face!
- You want to know?
- You really want to know?
Love Their Mother!
That’s It! Love Their Mother!
Let your children hear you say something like, “I love you Baby,” to their mom. Then watch them smile approvingly. Let them see you kiss her and hug her. Let them see you brag on her. Kids aren’t dumb. They can tell if you really love their mom.
Let your sons see you be tender with their Mama, and they’ll grow up being tender to their wives too. Let your daughters see how a woman is to be cherished and loved. There not much more you can do to bring peace and comfort to your children, than for them to know they grew up in a love-filled home.
Your house may have cost 100’s of thousands of dollars. But if love was not shown or felt, then all you really have is an expensive daycare center for your children.
Both of my parents have now gone on to be with the Lord. But my father left me many wonderful memories and examples of him openly expressing his love to my mom.
In my mind I can still hear him singing love songs to her that seemed to blurt out of nowhere. Songs like:
- Let Me Call You Sweetheart.
- Sugar In The Morning, Sugar In The Evening, Sugar At Supper Time.
You get the idea. Mom would always smile and walk into his open arms. All of us children would smile and nervously laugh our approval. Sometimes we turned our heads. Sometimes we watched.
Many times I’ve walked into the living room, kitchen or dining room and seen them in a tender embrace. Sure I walked back out, but I saw it! I saw that my dad truly loved my mom. For a little kid or even a big kid, it doesn’t get much better than that.
Do you forget things like that? Absolutely not! You remember it so well, that you do the same things when you get married. Then, you let your children see you be loving and tender to their mother.
If you will do that, you have just increased the odds that your children will grow up knowing the secret of a happy home life. And your grandchildren will grow up in a loving home as well. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
≈≈≈
(Now sir, go tell you wife right now how much you love her, and let your children hear you say it! Wrap your arms around her and give her a big smooch! That’s your homework for tonight. Class dismissed.)
Thank You For Keeping A Smile On My Face For 46 Years!
I’ve been in love with Marcia June Starr Ballestero since November 29,1964. Although it was 17,060 days ago, I remember that day very well. It was the Sunday night after Thanksgiving. That was the day my heart decided there was no one else in the world for me, but her. My heart was right.
I absolutely fell head over heels in love with the girl. I love her ageless beauty. I am forever enamored with the sound of her voice. I could listen to her chatter for hours. She is my favorite singer in the whole world. Her practical wisdom has benefited our marriage too many times to count. Her children call her blessed, her grandchildren adore her, and I can’t imagine my life without her being the center of it. She still makes me beam from ear to ear when she calls me Honey.
I am so very proud to show her off in public. I delight in her company. There’s still not enough hours in the day when we are together. Her loving and tender words continue to melt my heart and turn it into mush. I’m more in love with her today, even after 46 years. Her beauty and charm still turns my head!
Some have heard me call her Sister Honey, and others have heard me call her Sugar Booger. For Forty Six years, I’ve had the great honor of calling her my wife. I still call her Baby.
We said ‘I Do’ on August the 14th 1965. Besides the day I received the gift of the Holy Ghost, marrying her was by far, the greatest day of my life.
That’s 16,802 days of married bliss, or:
- 1,451,692,800 seconds
- 24,194,880 minutes
- 403,248 hours
- 2400 weeks (rounded down)
She has voluntarily made me the King of her world and treated me accordingly. I have made her the Queen of my life. No one is like her. No one comes close. She is altogether lovely. She’s the Best!
She has held my hand, and walked faithfully through life beside me. She has been my constant support and life’s greatest pleasure. She has never complained about the hardships of our life, and ‘made do’ when there wasn’t much money to ‘do’ with. I will always be in her debt.
She sacrificed her health and placed her life on the line to give us five wonderful children that have made us both grateful to God and proud.
Marcia! Thank you for all you have done for me and for our family over the years. Thank you for every sacrifice you made in raising our family and keeping our home. Thank you for never nagging or being critical. Thank you for being so loving! You are amazing indeed!
Martyn & Marcia Ballestero
Thank you too my Darling, for keeping a smile on my face for 46 years! I Love You With All My Heart!
Happy 46th Anniversary!
Marty
Young Person, Is That The Best Deal You Could Make?
Young Person, Is That The Best Deal You Could Make?
- Some People are just awful in Business.
- It’s just not their nature to bargain, barter, or make a good deal.
- They always seem to get cheated.
- They always lose money when they sell things.
- Others easily take advantage of them.
Imagine Then:
- Selling an heirloom at a yard sale for $1.00.
- Being happy to unload a treasure, at a give-a-way price, then get pressured to take $.50 and do.
- Later, you find out the real value and you are ashamed of your own stupidity!
- You realize you acted like you were an Idiot!
- You sold it too cheap!
- You’ll spend your life with that regret.
- You didn’t make the Best Deal You Could Make!
- Did you think you would never find another buyer? (Was it Seller’s Panic?)
- Basically, it looks like you were willing to give it away, or you didn’t care.
- To YOU it had no value, because you placed none upon it.
- Was it because you don’t know the value or worth of your possessions?
- How can you possess something for years and be clueless of its value?
- If you inherited something, you may or may not be sure of its value.
- That’s why you could always get an appraisal, or even a second opinion.
- You take what you have to a knowledgeable party and say:
- Tell me what it’s worth?
- Is this junk or real.
- An Heirloom or Trash?
- Then you believe what they said and never settle for less.
- Treat yourself the same way
What Am I Talking About? The Value Of You!!
- You.
- The Value Of You.
- The Business of You on the Open Market.
- And what worries me is that You may be settling for give-a-way price.
- If so, YOU must not have any respect for yourself.
- Or any hopes you have of ever doing much for God.
- Because you were willing to place an Heirloom in the same basket as the Trash.
- Too blinded by the flesh, to see the value of God’s gift (call) in your life.
I’m Always Amazed At Good Boys And Girls Settling For Spouses With:
- No spirituality.
- No personality.
- No signs of the Holy Ghost.
- No common ground but fleshly desire.
And I Say To Myself. “Was That The Best Deal You Could Make?”
- “Why didn’t you go to your Pastor and get an appraisal?”
- “ And then, believed him?”
- “Why didn’t you go to your Parents and get an appraisal?”
- “And then believed them?”
The Body’s Skin Is Only The Wrapping Of The Present.
- Only an idiot would so fall in love with the wrapping, that they never want to open the gift and see what is on the inside.
- It’s what’s on the inside that is of value.
- Shallow people fall in love with the wrapping and not what’s inside.
You Look In The Mirror, And…
- All you see of yourself is a nose you don’t like.
- Ears that somehow are all wrong to you.
- Zits that you just know will turn off the world.
- A Shape or Build that’s far from pleasing in your eyes.
- So you feel that because you are, for the moment unhappy with the wrapping, you think the inside must not be worth much either.
- So you De-value yourself.
- That’s the first step towards making a bad Business Deal in life.
- Settling for some Carnal Companion for a Marriage Partner.
- Settling for someone who is very wrong for you.
- I ask again, Was That The Best Deal You Could Make?
- I wish I could get you to believe that: “You are someone very special!”
Hey guys, if all you are interested in is a girls dress size, then that may be all you ever get. If you marry just for the wrapping, you might be disappointed with the present. But if you look deeper and marry what’s inside, you’ll not be sorry.
- What makes a person of Value & Worth settle for someone who is shallow and empty? (You are deceived if you think you will help them grow in God. Let them mature and grow in God first and then consider marriage.)
- What makes a person of Value marry some sorry outfit that won’t work and just sits at home plays his Sony Play Station or Xbox 360 all day and night?
- What makes a person of Value marry someone who is half Psycho? Was that the Best Deal they could make? Surely not.
- What makes a person of Value marry someone who would rather do drugs than live for God?
Maybe you’re in a small home missions church and you love God. But there are just not many boys in your church. You get desperate and feel like you are running out of chances to get married, so you grab the first person who smiles at you. Regardless if they are in church or out. Regardless if they are on fire for God or not. Don’t think you will marry them and then fix them or get them saved. The odds are against you.
What makes a person of Value meet some carnal Quail-head at a Conference or Camp, and fall for them. Then marry and leave a Great church to go to some dried up excuse for one. Their soul will not doubt dry up too, just because they thought this is the best they could do.
In my opinion, it’s better to be an old maid wishing you could get married, than to be a married woman wishing you were an old maid. It would be better to be a bachelor on fire for God, than to marry someone who will drag you out of church. Why would anyone want to spend the rest of his or her life saying, “Come on honey, go to church with me tonight. Pleeeeeze?”
God’s plan for your life involves great things for you and for His Kingdom. Don’t go hormonal stupid and mess up what Heaven has in store for you!
Let Me Talk About The Parents For A Minute!
Isaac and Rebecca set helplessly by as their son threw away his future and married women that brought grief to their hearts. Sadly, it still is happening today.
(Gen 26:34) And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite:
(Gen 26:3V) Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.
They were grieved because they knew Esau could have made a better deal and didn’t. But then again, this is the same man who made a bad deal in trading his birthright for a bowl of beans. Some people never seem to catch on.
I just happen to be the proud father of the most beautiful daughter in the world who is just as beautiful on the inside. She is married to a great pastor that makes my heart proud as well. They are a wonderful couple that brings great joy to our family and me.
When my daughter Marisa was still single and living at home, it was not uncommon for young men to travel long distances just to come and see her. Pretty girls are worth seeing. They all hoped for a chance to win her affection. She did a good job filtering out the bad ones. (She got that gift and her good looks from her Mama.)
One time though, I didn’t give my daughter a chance to say no to a potential suitor. As the father, I became the filter and her personal defender.
She was about eighteen when a knock came on our front door one day. I opened the door and was very surprised. I did not know the young man, nor had I seen him before. Neither had I ever heard him mentioned.
It looked like someone had set a bowl on top of his head and mowed around it leaving a black thick thatch of hair on top. He had a pierced lip, nose and an earring. His tongue was pierced too. His clothes looked soiled.
I nodded and said hello.
He gamely smiled and said, “Is Marisa Home.”
I looked him up and down real slow letting the smile leave me face. Then I looked him in the eye and with my no-nonsense voice I said, “Not to you, she’s not.)
The look of shock was still on is face when I closed the door.
Don’t even think about telling me I was rude or impolite. I am a Father. A Father’s job is to protect his family.
You don’t raise a daughter up to the age of eighteen and then throw her away to the first pair of britches that comes by. Neither do you raise up a son and throw him to the first skirt that rustles in his direction. Furthermore, you don’t let them throw themselves away either.
If all they hear from mom and dad is criticism and negativity about themselves, they may not value themselves very much either. You may have just set up your own child to make a bad deal in life.
Be thankful to God if your child is a good son or daughter. Brag on them, encourage them, guide them without nagging or harshness. Love them into making the right choices. Validate their achievements and right choices with praise.
Young Person. God did something special when He made you. Believe it, and never settle for anyone that would keep you from being what God meant you to be. His hand is on your life. Don’t take it off.
She’s A Lady!
She’s A Lady!
(From an old man’s point of view, with help from the two Beautiful Ladies in my life; my wife Marcia Starr Ballestero and my daughter Marisa Hartzell.)
MJB
÷÷÷
Marcia June Starr Ballestero
If you are a Lady, it is no accident. A lot of caring people got involved in the training process.
- A Lady is not born a Lady; she’s made into one.
- Someone had to help her.
- Her parents, her family, or someone close, participated in her education.
- If she is a Lady, it’s not an accident.
- A Lady conducts herself as a Lady.
- She expects to be treated like a Lady and she won’t settle for less.
- There are some things a Lady always does and some things a Lady would never do.
For Example:
1. A Lady Is Never Loud
- She uses her ‘inside’ voice when speaking.
- A Lady does everything to keep from being known as a loud mouth.
- She doesn’t scream and yell unless it’s absolutely necessary.
- She doesn’t rant and rave to get her way.
- She always strives to keep her composure and show calmness.
2. A Lady Watches Her Language
- She doesn’t use swear words.
- She lives so that if someone did swear around her, they would apologize.
- She doesn’t tell off color jokes.
- She avoids being around those that do.
3. A Lady Is Private About Her Personal Life
- She does not cheapen her life or others by passing along private information.
- She would never ask anyone else about their private life.
4. She Would Include The Pastor (And God) In Her Courtship
- She would ask the Pastor’s opinion of the guy she’s interested in.
- She would ask him if he would approve of you two ‘seeing each other.’
- She would invite him to pray with you about him.
- A relationship with a wrong person may destroy her.
- Someone worth marrying is most often found worshipping or around an altar, not hanging around the foyer.
- She would break up with him if her Pastor advised her to and be thankful that he was watching for her soul.
- She would be very worried if her friends didn’t like him.
- She would be very worried if her parents didn’t like him.
- She would honor her parent’s wishes and requests.
5. A Lady Always Tries To Be On Time
- There will always be occasions when things run late. She tries to make that the exception.
- A Lady has much more personal preparation than a man. That’s a given. She doesn’t abuse the privilege.
6. A Lady Pays Attention To Her Personal Hygiene
- She takes a shower or bath faithfully.
- She finds a deodorant that works for her.
- She brushes her teeth and uses mouthwash if necessary.
- She Keeps a supply of Q-tips .
- She knows Cologne can be smelled from afar and that it can be overwhelming. She is uses it with moderation.
- She knows that it’s not a substitute for soap.
- She shampoos her hair and keeps her scalp free of sweat and dandruff.
- She knows that just the word ‘Lady’ conjures up a picture of cleanliness and beauty in a man’s mind.
7. She Is Careful About Her Nose
- She excuses herself to blow her nose.
- She leaves the table to do it if possible.
- She turns her back to the table guests if she can’t leave to take care of her business and then places handkerchief in her purse or out of sight.
- She is aware that a wet nose is only tolerated on dogs.
- She keeps her finger out of her nose in public.
8. A Lady Pays Attention To Her Clothes
- She keeps her shoes polished.
- She cleans and trims her fingernails.
- She dresses with class.
- She does not wear revealing and formfitting clothes.
- She does not show cleavage.
- She does not dress so as to leave nothing to the imagination.
- She wears dresses that cover her knees even when sitting.
- She knows that she will not attract a Godly Husband by dressing like the world.
- She knows that if she doesn’t dress like the ‘world’ she won’t attract as many undesirables.
9. A Lady Is Gracious
- She says thank you when doors are opened for her.
- She says thank you when he pulls the chair out for you at the table.
- She says thank you when a Gentleman assists her with her coat. (On or off.)
- She says thank you when a Gentleman gives up his chair for her.
- She says thank you when a Gentleman picks up something she dropped.
10. A Lady Has Dining Manners
- She always chews with her mouth closed.
- She doesn’t talk with her mouth full.
- She takes modest sized bites
- She avoids ordering food with garlic if she is going to spend time with ‘him’.
- She never uses her finger to shove food onto her fork. She may use a knife or bread.
- She doesn’t place her elbows on the table.
- She places her napkin in her lap and not in her collar.
- She does not eat as if she were condemned.
- She knows a Gentleman is grossed out immediately by a Lady’s bad table manners.
- She does not burp, pass gas or spit in public.
11. A Lady Is Careful With Her Dating Conversation:
- She never mentions former boyfriends.
- She asks him questions about himself. (Maybe he’ll catch on and ask her.)
- She doesn’t yap on and on about herself.
- She will open up and talk if she cares about him.
- She doesn’t get too serious too quick.
12. A Lady Makes The Wedding Plans: (When you arrive at that decision.)
- She knows a Wedding is the ultimate social event in a woman’s life.
- She knows a Lady should have all the free reign she needs in it’s planning.
- She knows that He should follow her lead and if He does, He won’t be sorry.
13. A Lady Doesn’t Want To Sound Like A Control Freak To Him.
- She doesn’t try to change the music he’s listening to, even if it’s not what she likes.
- She knows there will be time to play hers.
- She doesn’t try to ‘change’ him as soon as he becomes hers either.
14. A Lady Keeps Her Ego In Check
- She never acts like the world revolves around her.
- She never pouts or throws a fit to get her way.
- She keeps her emotions in check in public.
- She will not participate in a ‘Cat Fight’.
15. A Lady Does Not Pursue The Man
- A Lady does not openly pursue the man
- She waits for him to make the initial call.
- She waits for the man to come to her.
- She does not cheapen herself to get his attention.
- She will not throw herself at a man.
16. A Lady Allows The Man To Pay
- She expects Gentleman pays for all the expenses.
- She also understands that just because he bought her a hamburger, it doesn’t mean she OWES him anything!
17. A Lady Has Phone Manners
- She takes time to speak to his parents or siblings when they answer the phone if she has to call.
- She will never just blurt just out, “Is _____ There?”
- She knows taking time to talk to the Mother or Father will go a long way in helping her future with the family.
- She will not spend her time texting other people when she is with Him.
- She will focus on who she is with.
- She shows those she is with how important they are to her by not texting or calling other people at the table.
- She wouldn’t think of texting in church.
- She would never be part of sending or receiving inappropriate photos and texts.
- She knows that if a guy is willing to send her an inappropriate photo or text, she has just been warned as to his lack of morals, consecration and his intentions.
18. The Lady Knows When And Where To Draw The Line
- She draws the line.
- She demands respect of her purity and honor.
- She would never make improper advances or say suggestive things.
- She would never allow herself to be touched in an inappropriate manner or place.
- She would never think of having to ‘Prove Her Love”
- She would respect his parents, her parents and their pastor’s guidelines for courtship.
- She means ‘NO’, when she says ‘NO”.
- She understands that after she says goodnight, if she has to repent before she goes to bed, then something is wrong with her relationship.
20. A Lady Doesn’t Stay Out All Night?
- She always honors her parent’s and the pastor’s curfew.
- She knows that she should be home before midnight even if there is no curfew. Just to protect her good name.
- She will protect herself and protect him, by not spending a lot of time alone together.
- She will inform her parents about where she plans to go and what she plans to do.
- She will make sure her parents have her cell number and invite them to call her if the need arises.
- She knows the Bible already said that flesh is weak. It is weak. She will not knowingly put herself or him in a position to be tempted. There is no guy worth going to hell over.
21. A Lady Will Never Let The Romance Die After Marriage.
- She will keep the courtship alive until her last breath.
- A Lady will always be loved.
If You Were A Gentleman!
If You Were A Gentleman!
- Man is not born a Gentleman; he’s made into one.
- Someone had to help him.
- He had to be taught.
- Either his parents, his family, the woman he loves, or his friends participated in his education.
- If you were a Gentleman, it wouldn’t be an accident. There are some things you would do and some things you wouldn’t.
For Example:
At 13, my mother instructed me to pull out the chairs at the table for my 4 younger sisters. She also told me she wanted me to open the doors for them as well.
I was not thrilled at all with my new duties. I did it, but without enthusiasm or smiles. When we were alone one day, I asked my mother why I had to pull out chairs and open doors for my little sisters.
She said, “If you don’t know how to treat your sisters nice, you’ll never know how to treat your wife nice.”
Women notice not only the obvious, but they are keenly aware of the little things that guys do every day.
While some behavior is acceptable around most guys, the women, the men are attracted to, might not welcome it.
__________________________
Here’s Some Advice You Never Asked For, Didn’t Want, And Became Offended When It Was Given To You.
__________________________
Some Do’s And Don’ts:
1. Include The Pastor (And God) In Your Courtship
- Ask his opinion of her.
- Ask him if he would approve of you two ‘seeing each other.’
- Invite him to pray with you about her.
- A relationship with a wrong person may destroy you.
- Someone worth marrying is most often found worshipping or around an altar, not hanging around the foyer.
- Break up with her, if your Pastor advises you to. Be thankful that he is watching for your soul.
- Be very worried if your parents don’t like her.
- Honor their requests.
2. Be On Time
3. Hygiene:
- Take a shower, we have showerhead systems available cheap these days, use soap.
- Deodorant is a must. Not a Musk.
- Brush your teeth. At least one of them.
- Use mouthwash if necessary.
- Sanitary wipes are important. Use them.
- Use the Q-tips. Clean out your ears.
- Cologne can be smelled from afar. It can be overwhelming. Be careful.
4. Clothes:
- Polish your shoes.
- Clean and trim your fingernails.
- Don’t mix blacks and browns
- Find a tie without any food stains
- By dressing up for her, you are sending the signal that you think she is important.
- (Why do guys so quickly fall into a relaxed mode when it comes to chivalry, etiquette and manners? Every guy needs some help in one or more of these areas.)
- Remember: EVERYTHING you say, do, and wear on important occasions, will be forever remembered.
5. Dining Manners:
- Open all doors for her.
- Pull the chair out for the lady when she is being seated.
- Pull the chair out for the lady when it is time to leave.
- Help her with her coat. (On or off.)
- When a lady stands to leave a table to go to the powder room, a gentleman stands while she leaves the table.
- He stands again when a lady returns to the table.
- Always chew with your mouth closed
- Don’t talk with your mouth full.
- Take modest sized bites
- Avoid ordering food with garlic.
- Don’t use your finger to shove food onto your fork. Use a properly sharpened knife and fork or some bread or pita.
- Place your napkin in your lap and not in your collar.
- Do not eat as if you were condemned.
- Women are grossed out immediately by bad table manners.
- When you pay the waiter, don’t be stingy and tip to the exact cent.
- You can look at a check and figure 10% in your head. Round it off and then double it.
- She will figure, that if you are tight with the waitress, you will be tight with her. She will be right.
- No burping, passing gas or spitting.
6. Conversation:
- Former girlfriends should not be entering into your conversations.
- Ask her questions about herself.
- Don’t yap on and on about you.
- Most Men love with their eyes, most Women love with their ears.
- Talk to the Girl. (About Herself!)
7. Wedding Plans: (If you ever make it that far)
- If you dominate the plans concerning the wedding, you’re not wise.
- A Wedding is the ultimate social event in a woman’s life. Let her have all the free rein she needs in it’s planning.
- Follow her lead. You won’t be sorry.
- Any negativity from you will not be forgotten.
8. Don’t sound like a control freak to her.
- Even if her music is different from what you like, let her play it.
- There will be time to play yours.
- Let her be the keeper of the home.
- Let her decorate the way that makes her happy.
- Sometimes you win by surrendering.
- It’s OK to let your heart and your head get a little mushy about the girl.
9. Hats
- Take your hat or cap off when you meet a lady.
- Take it off in the elevator
- Take it off in the church
- Take it off at the table
10. Bring flowers. Bring Candy, Don’t be cheap.
11. The Male Ego
- A Gentleman does not have to thump his chest and act like Tarzan to be a man.
- Use your physical strengths to be a blessing, not a brawler.
- Men seem to want the woman to submit to their authority after marriage, yet some men struggle with submitting to God’s authority or even Pastoral authority.
- Why should she submit to you when you won’t submit?
- A Gentleman never sits when a lady has to stand. On a bus, in a waiting room, or any other crowded setting. Give her your seat.
- Never require of another what you would not be willing to do yourself.
- The real measure of a man is not his biceps or chest size. A true measure of a man is between his ears. His thinking, his decisions, his choices are indicators of his maturity.
- Get a job, search on the top job search websites. A steady job. Keep your job. Don’t quit it because you found something you didn’t like about it. Have consistency in your life.
- Pay your bills.
- Be a man. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk.
12. Your Eyes
- Like the Bible says, ‘make a covenant’ with your eyes.
- Look her in the eyes when you are talking.
- Don’t stare at her chest.
- (God forbid you be seen staring at another girl’s body in her presence.)
- A Christian Gentleman doesn’t ogle a lady’s physical attributes. Look her in the eyes!
13. Dress Size
- If you are determined that a girl has to be a certain dress size for you to be interested, then a dress size may all you ever get out of that relationship
- Don’t rob yourself of possibly the best kept Treasure in Pentecost, just because you are hung up on what you think a woman’s dress size should be.
14. Who’s Going to Pay?
- Never let her pay for your food, or your gas, for that matter.
- A Gentleman pays for all the expenses.
- You are the ‘pursuer’ so you do the paying.
- She will love you if you’re rich or poor. If you don’t have a lot of money, she understands. Just do what you can afford to do.
- Don’t be a piker or be skimpy on what you spend on her. She will resent the fact that, if you do have some money, you were too tight to spend it on her.
- She will be quick to appreciate your sacrifice.
- Just because you bought her a hamburger, doesn’t mean she OWES you anything!
15. The Nose
- If you must blow your nose… excuse yourself,
- Leave the table to do it if possible.
- If you can’t, turn your back to the table guests, take care of your business and then pocket the filled handkerchief.
- Never place a napkin with filled with snot back on the table. Especially if the boogers are showing.
- Remember, a wet nose is only tolerated on dogs.
- PS. If a cold or sinus drainage is an issue, try medication.
- Keep your finger out of your nose.
- No booger picking or flipping.
16. The Phone
- When you call a girl’s house and her parents or siblings answer the phone, take a few moments and talk to them.
- Never blurt out immediately, “Is _____ There?”
- Your taking time to talk to the Mother or Father will go a long way in helping your future with the family.
- When you are together, don’t spend your time texting other people. Focus on who you are with.
- Never text and drive.
- Your texting and calling other people at the table tells everyone there that they are not important to you.
- I know you don’t text in church.
- Never be part of sending or receiving inappropriate photos and texts.
- If she is willing to send you an inappropriate photo, you have just been warned as to her lack of morals and consecration.
17. The Man Draws The Line
- A Christian Gentleman draws the line.
- He would respect her
- He would never make improper advances or say suggestive things
- He would never touch her in an inappropriate manner or place.
- He would never think of asking her to ‘Prove Her Love”
- He would respect his parents, her parents and their pastor’s guidelines for courtship.
- When a lady says ‘NO’, that means ‘NO”.
- After you say goodnight, if you have to repent before you go to bed, then something is wrong with your relationship.
18. Be A Worshipper
- What does this have to do with courtship? Maybe plenty.
- A man who has a difficult time expressing his love and affection for God, may have a difficult time expressing his affection to the woman he loves.
19. How Long Do You Stay Out?
- Always honor the parental or the pastor’s curfew.
- If there is none then be honorable and have her home BEFORE midnight.
- Protect yourself and protect her, don’t spend a lot of ‘alone time’. There is safety in numbers.
- Inform the parents about where you plan to go and what you plan to do.
- Make sure they have your cell number and invite them to call you if the need arises.
- The Bible already said your flesh is weak. It is weak. Quit trying to prove it’s not. Don’t knowingly put yourself or her in a position to be tempted. There is no girl worth going to hell over.
20. Never Let The Romance Die.
- After marriage, let the courtship continue until your last breath.
_______________________________________________________________________________
When my mom and dad got married, after the wedding, they had to take a city bus. Dad jumped on first to pay for them both and walked toward the back of the bus. When he turned around, he saw that mother was not on the bus. Looking out of the back window, he saw her still back on the street corner.
He jumped off at the next stop and ran the several blocks back. He asked, “What’s the matter Connie?”
She said, “Where I come from, a gentleman lets a lady on the bus first.”
My father apologized and said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t have a mother to teach me or have I ever had a sweetheart. Would you teach me?”
____________________________
All of us need help; we just need it in different areas. Let her know that if you are doing something that is distracting to her, you are willing to be helped. Then change.
If you treat her like a Queen, she’ll treat you like a King!
__________________________
May The Lord Bless You.
If You Had A Mule!
If You Had A Mule!
In early American history, frontiersmen eked out a meager existence, in the harshest of times. Often, survival was directly connected to hard work, and the kindnesses of Mother Nature.
At best, one man by himself could barely grow enough food to last him through the long winters. He was glad to just get by.
But if he had a mule, life took an immediate upturn. More work was accomplished. He often was able to plow his 40 acres and harvest enough for himself and have enough left over to sell or trade.
It was by the help of the mule, that many a man moved from the survival mode to a more comfortable lifestyle.
The homesteader took very good care of his mule. His success was directly tied to the mule. The mule needed to be healthy, and to keep it healthy, it must be cared for.
- After working in the field all day, the mule was rubbed down with a burlap bag.
- It was curried with a brush.
- It was watered first, before the man.
- It was fed first, before the man.
- The man, would check to see if it needed shoes.
- Even if the man didn’t have good shoes, his mule did.
- If it needed shoes, that was a first order of business. It was a priority.
- After the mule was taken care of, the man then focused on his own needs.
(That was how I started a Bible Study many years ago, as pastor of Christ Temple Apostolic Church in South Bend.
I said, “I risk angering all the wives here tonight with my unkind comparison of them to a work animal. I apologize ahead of time.
“It is no secret that some men would take better care of a mule, than they would their own wife.” I continued…)
Men, I know this is over a hundred years later, but you’d be still in the survival mode without your good wife. It would be impossible for a man to list all of the duties and chores his wife routinely accomplishes for the betterment of his home. Too often, she does a hard days work without a word of praise or thanks.
She is ordered around, and treated far beneath her pay grade, which too often, is nothing at all. The man pockets the money, spends what he wants on himself. She has an empty purse. Some men spend $50 or more on a golf game, fishing supplies or a days hunt.
His wife has to ask him for money for hairspray, hose and personal items. God forbid she would ever ask for a pair of shoes or a dress. For her, it is demeaning to have to ask.
She made him a home. She sacrificed her health, her youth and her life to raise him a family. She does his cleaning, his cooking, and attends to his whims. Yet she is not allowed to enjoy the bounty and fruit of her labor on the same level her husband does. Shame on you sir.
If you had a mule, you would take better care of it, than you do your own wife!
At that point in my Bible Class, a chunk of plaster about as big as a pie pan fell from the ceiling and landed on Bro. McKinnies’ head.
As soon as I saw that he was not hurt, I pointed at him and said, “It’s you I’m talking about!”
We all laughed.
My sermon was over…
The World’s Greatest Spousal Insurance Policy!
The World’s Greatest Spousal Insurance Policy!
Today Marcia, my beautiful wife of 45 years, and I were riding down the Turnpike in Tulsa listening to XM Radio’s Enlighten on Channel 34. It’s a Southern Gospel Station. Presently a familiar sounding group came on and I read their name on the player. It confirmed what my ears were hearing.
My mind went back many years. I thought of the times I had been in church services with these people, but those days are now forever gone. They are just distant memories.
They once were Jesus Name, Apostolic. I knew them when the ladies in the group had long uncut hair. They wore no makeup or jewelry back then. The men had good haircuts and no facial hair. Somehow, things changed for them. They left the Oneness people seeking more popularity and acceptance from the Trinitarians. They compromised their beliefs about salvation’s requirements and the God-head in the process.
Along the way, they all met with divorce. Their divorces didn’t draw them back to God or to a place of rededication, but their new spouses helped push them even further away from the old landmarks and from truth.
Thinking on these things, my mind reflected on the history of the city of Bethel in the Bible. It was made famous by Jacob, his dream and his covenant with God. At that time, Bethel was only a flat rock that Jacob used for a pillow that night.
The next time we read about Bethel, it is a place filled with people who did not stay loyal to God. Idols were now very common in Bethel. It even became a headquarters for idolatrous calf worship. In Bethel, of all places!
The prophet Amos said that Bethel would “come to naught.” Amos 5:5. Jeremiah hung his head and said that Israel “was ashamed of Bethel.” Jer. 48:13.
Later, Hosea called Beth-el, (which means the house of God) ‘Beth-aven’ which means a house of adultery.
Thinking on that sad progression from the House of God, to House of Idolatry, and then to House of Adultery, I became deeply bothered in my spirit.
In prayer some years ago, I asked the Lord, “How did Bethel go from idolatry to adultery?”
It was like the Lord dropped this thought into my spirit… “The progression was easy. They’re both fathered by the same spirit, the spirit of unfaithfulness.”
If that’s true, then the greatest insurance policy any of us can give our spouse is to be faithful to God. Because, if we are faithful to God, then we will also be faithful to our spouse! It’s that simple. Are you FAITHFUL to God?
I Love What I Hear!
Marcia June Starr – Martyn Joseph Ballestero
45th Wedding Anniversary
August 14, 1965 – August 14, 2010
______________________________________________________________________
My Dear,
I Love What I Hear!
- I’ve heard “Good Morning Honey,” 16,436 times!
- I’ve heard “I love you,” too many times to count!
- I’ve heard “I miss you,” more times than a husband should.
- Four times I’ve heard, “It’s a boy!”
- I heard that 8 more times at our Grandson’s births!)
- Once I heard, “It’s a girl!”
- I heard that said 4 more times at our Granddaughter’s births!)
- I love What I Hear!
≈≈≈
I Love What I Feel!
- I’ve felt loved for 45 years.
- I’ve felt needed all of those days.
- I’ve felt appreciated above my worth.
- I’ve felt missed when I’m away.
- I feel content when I’m with you.
- I feel at peace in our home.
I Love What I Feel!
≈≈≈
I Love What I See!
- I see your face brighten into a smile when I come home.
- I see your acts of service.
- I see your constant sacrifices made for my benefit.
- I see your tenderness.
- I see your devotion.
- I see your purity.
- I see your modesty.
- I see your wholesome goodness.
- I see your sincerity.
- I see your grace.
- I see a Christian.
- I see your beauty.
- I see my Dreams Come True.
- I see Love at it finest.
I Love What I See!
≈≈≈
I Love What I Know!
- I know I my beloved is mine and I am hers.
- I know I am loved.
- I know I am cherished.
- I know I am thought of.
- I know you are faithful.
- I know you are my Pride and Joy.
- I know I am not complete without you.
- I know that I am lost without you.
I Love What I Know!
≈≈≈
I Love What I Am!
- I love what I am because of you.
- I love how you’ve helped me grow.
- I love how you’ve helped me be a better father.
- I love how you’ve helped me be a better man.
- I love how you helped me be a better husband.
- I love how you’ve helped me be a better Christian.
- I love how you’ve given peace and serenity to my world.
- I love how you’ve brought reason and wisdom into our decisions.
I Love What I Am Because Of You.
≈≈≈
For Sixteen Thousand Four Hundred And Thirty Six Days I Have Been Married To The One I Love. The Love Of My Life!
Thank You My Darling, For The Best 45 Years Of Marriage A Husband Could Ever Hope For!!
I Love You!!
Martyn Joseph Ballestero Sr.
Apostolic Expository Series
Christy Ballestero (My Beautiful DIL)
http://marciaballestero.com/
Pastor Anthony & Kim Ballestero, New Destiny Worship Center, Clearwater, FL (My Son)
Pastor Bryan & Christy Ballestero, Temple Of Pentecost, Raleigh, NC (My Son)
James Groce Blog – "Toward The Mark"
Kenneth Bow Blog
Kingdom Speak Podcast
Philip Harrelson – "The Barnabas Blog"
Verbal Bean Ministries
Holy Ghost Radio
The Ballestero Blog 